CHAPTER THREE: The Difference Between Human and Humane

Of course I wasn't sure of anything. This new life was unpredictable and had disappointed me in the past. I wanted to make sure it was possible for a vampire to starve himself of human blood. Who knew? Maybe there was a need for human blood that I couldn't feel right now. Weeks passed as I tested myself, getting to know my boundaries and limits. After two weeks I went out and specifically hunted down a pack of deer, and it felt fine I didn't thirst for anything afterwards. I started to form a kind of religion. Ha ha. Religion in vampires. It was more of a philosophy really. I didn't have to despise myself. I could possibly live with the humans and interact with them again. After a week I tested myself by going into town. I made sure I had hunted beforehand to be careful. As I walked down the main street I felt the disgustingly familiar drying in my throat and excess venom. But it was bearable. My reaction wasn't nearly as strong as that first time, but obviously not restrained enough. I couldn't interact with the humans with red eyes, and not going in the sunlight. I would be burned at the stake. But I swore to myself that I would never commit the sins of a vampire. I would never taste human blood. I had to believe that I had a chance at the afterlife. After all I had obeyed by the strict rules of my father in my former life, and I had committed no sins that a normal human couldn't commit in this life. I didn't hate myself so much any longer. I felt, well not human, but humane.

One day I caught my reflection in the town center. The change wasn't only evident inside. I had changed outside too. My happiness was plain on my face and my features were sharpened and perfected as if one of the masters in town had painted me. But the most evident change was my eyes. They weren't red as I had thought they would be. They were this mysterious golden color. I liked that a lot. I liked that my eating habits showed in my face. The gold was a pure and good gold. It contrasted to the ugly evil red that the wraiths in the sewers had. Golden eyes. It was like my philosophy's trademark.