Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there was a loser. Ahem, that would be me. Unfortunately this loser went to a really stupid school. Or maybe the school was fine and it was just the loser who was stupid.

Either way, I still tripped over the shoes of the most popular boy in school…and sent my lunch tray flying across the cafeteria…and hit his girlfriend Jessica (aka The Snow Queen). Everyone's mouth flew open.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Watch where you're going, idiot!"
"Why don't you do us a favour, and buy a life?"

The last one strung hard. I picked myself off the floor, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I tried to blink them away. I didn't want them to see me cry.
The Snow Queen just laughed.
"I don't think she's got enough money to buy a life, Mike." She looked me up and down. I felt exposed, even though I had clothes on. Really crappy clothes, I might add. Clothes that reminded why I never had any freinds.

I rushed out of there and ran into the girl's washroom. I am NOT going home. Being humuliated by The Snow Queen is 50 million times better than facing my aunt. My aunt makes the The Snow Queen look like Snow White.

I shut myself in the nearest cubicle and rolled up the ratty sleeves of my shirt. I had tatooed "Someday My Prince Will Come" across my wrist, like a breacelet. Childish, I know. But still. Someday, I hope he comes and rescues me from the Evil Snow Queen and the Fire-Breathing Dragon that is my aunt.

I remember reading all these fairy tales when I was little about the Famous Prince Charming. It had always been my childhood dream to meet him. But as I got older, I learned the truth: He didn't exist. But it hurt too much to admit my hero wasn't real. It hurt too much to admit no one could save me from myself.

I probably stayed in that cubicle for a long time…or at least until the custodian threatened to shove the toliet plunger down my throat if I didn't get lost.

And so began my reluctant walk home. For most people, being at school is a drag. And it is for me too. But it's nothing compared to "home". The moment I step in, the Dragon smacks me across the face. My hand flies to my cheeck. Ouch! It really stings. But nothing I'm not used to.

"Where the hell were you for the past two hours?"
"…I was at school…I got a detention…"
"What?! Again?" She slapped my other cheeck. Now both my hands were on my face. I hate her.
"Ow, Aunt Dawn! Just stop okay?"
"Don't tell me what to do, you piece of SHIT!" She spat at me. "Go to your room. I don't want to see your face again!"

I was just halfway up the stairs, when the doorbell rang. The Dragon gave me a piercing look.
"Why the hell are you over there?! Get the damn door!" I hurried back down the stairs and flung the door open. Two men in suits were standing in front of me.
"Yes, may I help you?" I looked up at them quizically. They gave me the same look.
"Are you Miss Isabella Swan?"
"Um…yes I’m Bella. Why?"
"Are you sure about that?" Okay…this guy is wierd.
"Well, I think I would know my own name becau–"
"Who are you people?!" The Dragon had emerged from her hiding place.

The two men took out ID Cards from the pockets of their crisp black plants.
"I'm Angent Connoway and this is Angent Brent. We've come here to take Princess Isabella Elizabeth Marie Swan to her fiance."
"WHAT?!" Both me and the Dragon were in shock.