Chapter Two: Wake up

            We walked in silence along the raggedy beach. The only sounds heard was the roar of the waves- hoping to crash into us- the seagulls that flocked high above us, and the sounds of our breathe. We walked until we found our 'special' spot. Jacob stopped, and then motioned me to sit first. The log was cold underneath me, reminding me vaguely of how cold Edward’s hands felt as he touched my face gently. I shuddered a little bit, making Jacob assume that I was cold. He wrapped his huge arm tenderly around my shoulders and I could feel the heat emulating from him. It did not take long until I felt warm and toasty. I smiled at him “Thanks. I needed that.” I leaned into him, breathing in his scent. I could tell he had been playing earlier with his brothers, for the simple scent of the earth’s floor still hung to him. It was a bittersweet smell, with the mixture of maple wood and the earth’s compost. It was the complete opposite of Edward’s sweet smell; one that I never did seem to identify. I cursed myself silently, wishing that I could stop thinking about him all the time. After all, he made his choice; I suffered the dire consequences. Jacob had been there from day one, helping me to pick up the pieces. It was not until I discovered his secret that I told him about Edward. I figured it was safe with him, since he was the one who hinted to me in the beginning. That was before, though. Before all the changes he had endure, a trait that passed down among his family. That was before he could change into a wolf. I could not decide who it was more dangerous to be around; Edward, who could kill me at any given moment should he give into the desire to taste my blood again; or Jacob, whose anger could trigger his transformation and kill me before he has the change to regain his posture. I have seen what it had done to Emily when Sam lost control around her. It does not stop her though; she still cares for him more than ever. 

“Tell me what you are thinking.” Jacob’s sudden voice made me jump. I smile at him timidly. I did not want to say Edward…I knew he would just get angry with me. Therefore, I lied. “I was just thinking about how you promise me a jump. I looked like so much fun!” I hear him chuckle. He then looked back at me, with such a serious look in his eyes. “I’m not so sure I should. With your record, I would not want you to get hurt. You know how much I care for you.” I stiffened under his hold, suddenly realizing what would come next. He carefully whisked a stray of hair behind my ear, placed his burning hand on the back of my head, and leaned forward to kiss me. It was so warm, unlike Edward’s frosted kiss. I felt it blaze, as I fought the panic that built up in my tender throat. I felt him slowly pull away, and then saw the confused look on his face as he studied mine. I could feel the heat slowly creeping to my face as I quickly looked away. “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” I looked back, not surprise to see the anger flash across his face. “I thought you would have had enough time and you would see that I loved you; and you would return the feelings.” Jacob shuddered a little bit, and I sat there feeling the fear built up from the bottom of my stomach. “I do love you, Jake…but…” I stopped, not wanting to make him angrier. “But it is not enough, right? I’m not him?? Wake up Bella!! Look at what is in front of you! I am here, where is he? Gone…he left you the moment something that he felt free from the ‘bond’ you supposedly shared.” I scowled at him, feeling the anger replace my fear. “How dare you! You knew how I felt, and saw what it did to me. Did you really think he is something I could simply get over? He saved my life, in many ways. So sure, I love you but I love him more. I have loved him from the moment I set eyes on him. In the meantime, I thought you understood that we are only friends. That is all we can be. Okay, so he left. He left to spare me. Apart of him must love me, or else he would not have care if James left me to die. Nor would he have saved me from the car crash.” I jumped up, not wanting to face him anymore. Blistering tears streamed down my face. In frustration, I ran. No sure where to go and how to get there, I just knew I needed some time to myself. I found myself overlooking the same sea cliff that, just a little while ago, I had asked him to jump with me. I could hear him approach me. “Bella, please.” he pleaded “I’m sorry. It is just so frustrating to know that you would rather be with that cold-hearted leech than with me. At least with me, you would continue to live and have a future.” I turned slowly, still not wanting to see him. I knew he had a point. “I don’t care” I whispered, “I would give up everything-my heart, and soul- just to be with him. I thought of all people, you would understand; especially after watching Sam and Emily.” I watched his face soften as he thought of them, the way Sam still blames himself for the scars he inflicted on Emily’s face and body. Emily had a heart that must be made of pure gold. The way she tried to comfort him, when it should be the other way around and the way she took care of all of his brothers as well. In her situation, I am not sure I could do the same. His temperate hug broke my train of thought. I looked up to him, watching a smile crawled across his face. “Well, one can only wish and hope…that you would change your mind. I will always be here, Bella. I will always be ready to fight for you no matter what happens. It is not over, not until you are no longer breathing and your heart no longer beats.” I hugged him back, thankful he was no longer irritated with me. “I would expect nothing else from you Jake.” We started to walk back to my truck; it was late and I needed to get home to make dinner.