REALIZATION

There was nothing entertaining going on, there was never anything entertaining going on. In fact the day was really rather dull, like most of the things here in Alaska, which only left more time for me to bask in my own boredom. Normally days come and go without much warning for me, but we’d only been in Denali for six months and it felt to me like we’d been here six years.

Of course that could partly be blamed on the anxiety and edginess we all felt due to Edward’s absence. Only God knew where on earth he was and in what possible predicament. The lack of information had us all itching with nervousness.

 I had tried to convince him a million times to come home, or at least let me stay with him for a while. Just to be sure that he was ok – that he wasn’t in any danger, or rather any danger aside from the masochist plan of his that he was currently living out.

I was in the living room hoping company would distract me, but Carlisle who was reading some thick book about congestive heart failure, and Eleazer who was flipping through the channels on the television, provided no distraction from my own thoughts.

Normally I relied on Jasper, but he had just gone for a walk and I had a good idea that he wanted to be alone.

He still blamed himself for Edward having to leave Bella and making his life miserable, therefore affecting all of our own lives in the negative. Though not one of us blamed him, we better than anyone, knew that it was an instinct that he acted on in September and not his own will.

“I really hate it when the only thing on is paid programming and soap opera re-runs,” Eleazer complained.

 I chuckled at him, but my thoughts were elsewhere.

 Rosalie had gone out with Carmen, Tanya, Esme.

Alice and Kate were upstairs playing chess, commentated by gossip, and I had no interest in hearing.

If Edward were here I would insist that we head out and toss a baseball around or (look up car thing)