Chapter 10

Bianca, please… dont cry, Lena practically begged as she continued to wipe away the tears Bianca shed.

How… how could she do that to you? Bianca hiccupped.

Lena wanted to put the rest of the story on hold – hoping – wishful thinking on her part actually, that Bianca would forget about it. However, as they held each other on the couch, Bianca had brought up that she hadnt heard the rest of it and that now seemed as good a time as any.

It was going well – or so Lena thought. Until the incident at the park.

Lena could not hide the pain shed experienced from her voice and Bianca had picked up on it right away. No matter what Lena had said, no matter how she tried to calm her down, Bianca could not keep from crying.

Lena believed it hit too close to home for Bianca.

Please… please tell me you didnt feel that way? Bianca asked, her voice small.

They were different circumstances Bianca. You did what you did because you thought you were protecting me…

We all know how well that turned out, Bianca muttered.

Sweetheart, weve already gone through this – its done.

Bianca moved away slightly, What about you and Marina?

What about us?

You said I was trying to protect you…

Yes – you were. Marina, she sighed, Marina used me – thats all.

Do you still believe that?

What choice do I have?

Bianca knew a lot about choices. She knew how they affected not only her life – but also those of her family and friends. Mostly she knew how her choice to shut Lena out of her life made her miserable and drove Lena to her desperate act.

Bianca was furious at Marina – angry at how shed treated and used Lena. She was angry with herself. However, beneath the anger – simmering below the surface was a thought.

It had come unbidden – like a thief in the night.

What if there was more to this than Lena knew?

From what Lena had said, described, Marina behaved like a woman in love. There had been no indication that the break-up was coming. It was like Michael, Bianca had no idea what was going to happen.

There were one too many coincidences between them for comfort. Bianca came to the conclusion that in order for her to get the answers to her questions – to have peace of mind – as well as giving a piece of hers – she had to talk to Marina.

The problem: how to get Lena to agree to the meeting. She wasnt going to sneak off and do this behind her back.

No secrets.

Shed bring it up later. Right now, it was time for bed.

Lena?

Yes my Angel.

Take me to bed.

Of course.

Lena stood up, reaching out to Bianca with both hands, she assisted Bianca she got up from the couch.

Do you want to take a shower?

Im fine. Besides, I wanna got to sleep in your arms – not just wake in them.

Lena kissed Bianca gently, Nothing would make me happier.

As they proceeded into the bedroom, Lena had Bianca sit on the bed. Ill be right back, she said as she took the soup bowl from the nightstand and walked back into the living room area of the suite.

Bianca heard dishes being moved and then she heard the service cart. She smiled, Lena was putting the cart outside the door to their suite.

I do love you, she said softly to herself.

What are you smiling about hmm? Lena asked as she walked into the bedroom.

No special reason.

Umm hmm. Would you like your nightgown or…

Oversized t-shirt please, Bianca answered grinning. It was one of Lenas – she had confiscated it and said in a tone that would brook no argument, that she was now the proud owner of said shirt, so Lena had better forget about ever getting it back.

Of course. Lena smiled as she went to the dresser. She had been secretly delighted when Bianca had chosen to sleep in her shirt. By taking possession of the shirt, in Lenas mind – by proxy, Bianca had taken possession of her. Pulling it out of the dresser, she walked to Bianca and handed it to her. Call me if you need anything, she said as she started to leave the room.

Lena.

Yes, she turned around.

Help me?

Lena was puzzled. Bianca had never asked for assistance before. Are you all right? she asked, her voice laced with concern.

Im perfectly fine.

But…

Lena… will you undress me?

She gasped. Are… are you sure Bianca?

Im positive, Bianca answered, her voice strong.

Lena had never felt so nervous in her life.

It wasnt as if she hadnt seen Bianca naked before – she had memorized each feature – every part of her. She knew if she barely grazed the back of Biancas knees with her fingers, Bianca would be reduced to tears from laughter. Yet, if she did the same thing with her breath – the reaction was completely different. It had taken them both by surprise when Bianca moaned out loud.

This was different.

They were both different, which made it so much more important.

Lena slowly approached Bianca standing before her she reached out and began to unbutton the blouse.

I can do this, Lena muttered to herself. Of course I can do this, Ive done this before – theres nothing to it.

Bianca smiled to herself. She doubted Lena realized that she had spoken out loud. The smile grew bigger as Lena diligently unbuttoned her blouse, the tip of her tongue poking out between her lips.

Lena willed her hands not to tremble as she unfastened the last button. Her heart raced in her chest as she caught glimpses of Biancas skin.

She reached up, sliding her hands inside the blouse, careful not to touch Bianca too much and urged the material over Biancas shoulders and off. Lena heard her gasp as her hands followed the sleeves down Biancas arms before it finally floated to the floor.

Leave it, Bianca instructed when Lena made a move to pick it up. Give me your hands please.

Lena instinctively responded.

What do you feel in your hands Lena?

She frowned, she wasnt sure what Bianca was getting at. Feel?

Bianca raised their joined hands up. What do you feel, she stressed as she squeezed.

Our hands.

Bianca smiled. Yes. Taking Lenas right hand and turning it so that she was able to place hers on the back of it, she moved their hands until they were resting on Lenas chest. What do you feel?

My heartbeat.

And now?

Yours…

Now?

It was Lenas turn to smile. Miranda… whos very active tonight.

Yes she is.

Bianca, what are you trying to tell me?

Lena whose body are you touching?

Yours.

Exactly. Its my body. Your hands are on my body. No one else has the right to touch me unless I say they can… wait! Dont pull away, hear me out. Bianca pleaded. Lena that right was taken from me and for the longest time Ive had to struggle with that. I had to learn to trust myself – not you. You wouldve never hurt me. I knew that then and I know it now. This is why I can reach out to you. I need your help Lena. I need to re-learn your touch. I want to re-learn your touch, Biancas voice dropped. Im giving you that right. Bianca took Lenas hands in hers and placed them on top of her *****. Please dont be afraid. Im not.

Lena was overwhelmed, she wasnt sure what to do. Moving her gaze from Biancas she slowly looked down. It was almost as if she were seeing someone elses hands, how they simply rested on Biancas *****.

She had noticed the difference before. Lena allowed her hands to move slowly until she was cupping Biancas *****. She marveled at their fullness – Bianca was bigger of course, her body had prepared itself to feed Miranda.

Im in awe of you Bianca, she whispered, never moving her gaze from her hands. Your body – its changed so much – I hope you wont think me rude but your ***** – theyre beautiful. To think that Miranda will be suckling from them, deriving nourishment from them, it fills me with a sense of pride, that and thinking shes a cheeky girl. Lena smiled. She moved her hands once again, until they stopped at the clasps in front of Biancas bra. She looked at her for confirmation.

Bianca nodded.

One by one she unhooked them, she could feel Biancas heartbeat – to think she was causing its rapid pace shook her. She reached the last one with a small movement on her part she was a moment away from seeing Biancas bare ***** for the first time in over nine months.

Her hands shook – she wanted so badly to be calm – in control – smooth, everything Bianca deserved.

Now Lena was being reduced to a quivering mass – a nervous wreck.

Lena…

She looked up.

I love you.

She reached up and caressed Biancas cheek, her palm tingling when Bianca turned and kissed it. She had nothing to be afraid of and so much to look forward to. Thank you.

Bianca simply smiled.

A moment later, Bianca was free, her *****, heavy with milk, sagged. Bianca blushed. She had gotten used to seeing her ***** fall once she took her bra off, Lena hadnt.

How do they feel? Lena asks as she removed the bra completely, letting it fall to the floor, joining the blouse.

Umm… bigger, Bianca chuckled. Heavier… the doctor told me I wont be as… big later on.

Either way, you are perfect, Lena said, placing a kiss on Biancas lips. Letting her hands drift down Biancas body – loving the feel – the tightness around her belly, Lena bent down and placed a single kiss above Biancas navel. Hello little one – try not to keep your mother up too much huh.

Bianca stroked the top of Lenas head as she spoke with Miranda. It filled her with such an indescribable feeling whenever Lena spoke to Miranda. Lena truly, without hesitation accepted the baby. It was something she wished her mother would do.

Lenas hands drifted lower, resting upon the elastic waistband of the slacks Bianca was wearing. She gently tugged on the material, pulling them down. Her hands grazed Biancas skin – her fingers moving over the smooth flesh. Lena carefully avoided the back of Biancas knees. There would be no laughing now. Lena wanted to make this as safe and as sensual as she possibly could.

Lena needed Bianca to know that she would never betray her trust, that she was justified in allowing her to do this. She felt Biancas hands on her shoulders as she steadied herself when she finally stepped out of the slacks. Standing up, Lena grabbed the t-shirt and helped Bianca put it on.

That wasnt so hard was it? Bianca asked.

Not at all, Lena replied. Who was she kidding? She had been petrified.

Its funny… but Im not tired.

Neither am I.

So… what could we possibly do?

Avoiding the carefully laid landmine, Lena answered instead, Bianca, sweetheart – thank you.

Umm, for what? Lenas answer wasnt exactly what she was expecting.

For everything and, she paused taking Biancas hands in hers, As much as I may want to be with you tonight, I think we should do as you suggested earlier.

Which was?

I think – no, I know I would love to sleep in your arms tonight.

Biancas smiled bashfully, I… I was probably rushing things, sorry.

Sorry? For making me want you? Sorry for sharing your body with me? For allowing me the privilege in seeing how beautiful you have become? Oh no Bianca, never say youre sorry.

You make me feel so much Lena, I cant express myself sometimes.

Come on, lets get some sleep, perhaps then youll find the words in your dreams.

Once Bianca had settled herself, Lena moved until she was behind her. Bianca reached for Lenas hand and pulled it to her chest, their fingers clasped together.

Good night my Angel, Lena whispered before placing a kiss on Biancas cheek.

With mischief sparkling in her eyes, Bianca said, You call that a good night kiss Kundera? Who are you, Kendall?

Lena smiled. So, you want a good night kiss?

Yep.

Lena raised herself up, allowing Bianca to roll onto her back.

Im waiting.

Lena moved back down, sliding her left arm underneath the pillow Bianca was lying on. She wanted to be able to hold Bianca in her arms. Believing Bianca would expect her to kiss her lips first, Lena instead gave her small fleeting kisses, covering her face, her throat, all the while caressing Biancas shoulder and arm.

Lena moved up Biancas neck to her earlobe, where she tugs and sucks on it, loving the way Biancas arms wrap themselves around her, pulling her closer. She smiles when Bianca moves her face so that their lips finally meet – wantonly, hungrily, tenderly – leisurely, everything at once. The passion builds slowly, gradually.

Lena feels Biancas hands trail across her back, clutching her, holding on. She parts her lips, her tongue sliding across Biancas upper lip before delving boldly into her mouth, searching, insistent, demanding. Lena takes possession of Biancas mouth, which Bianca surrenders without hesitation. She savors the taste and soft warmth of Biancas lips.

Lenas head swims when Bianca sucks on her tongue, caressing it with her own. She reaches out, her hand resting on Biancas cheek – feeling as if shes come home.

A faint moan fills the room, Lena is unsure of whom it came from, not caring as she loses herself in the kiss.

Slowly, regretfully, she withdraws her tongue from Biancas mouth. Obviously not wanting the kiss to end, Bianca diligently follows. Lena watches in silent bemusement as Biancas eyes flutter open, a dazed expression on her face.

Wha? she gasps for air wondering why Lena pulled away.

Good night Bianca, Lena manages to say, her own breath ragged.

Wow.

Indeed. I certainly hope Kendall doesnt kiss you that way.

Bianca closes her eyes, First off: Eww. No, Kendall does not and never will. Secondly: How can you expect me to go to sleep after that? She asked her eyes boring into Lenas.

Like I will – with some difficulty.

Some difficulty?

Lena gathered Bianca in her arms and whispered, Quite a bit actually.

Thats more like it, I guess.

Good night Bianca. Lena snuggled behind her – her hand resting on Biancas chest.

Night Lena. This is how it should have been. Bianca thought to herself as she closed her eyes, her fingers intertwined with Lenas.