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    Looking Back – Chapter 11

    Chapter 11

    Marina…

    Yes Alice, she replied as she turned around and looked at her sitting in the car.

    If you need to talk…

    She smiled, I know whom to call.

    Ill see you later.

    Good night Alice. Marina stepped away from the curb and watched as Alice drove off. Making sure the shop had been closed up for the night, Marina got into her car and drove home.

    Once she got there, she put on her favorite c.d. and poured herself a glass of wine. Lounging on the sofa, her eyes closed, she thought back – her mind filling with images of Lena.

    From the innocent…

    Bringing Lena a candy bar made of dark chocolate with coconut and almonds, she watched in endless fascination as Lena savored each morsel.

    Seeing Lena waiting patiently the park bench, looking around hoping to spot her. Of course she had been hiding, she wanted to know how long Lena would wait for her. She did this until she ached to be by her side and she rushed to her, taking Lena into her arms and held her tight before they sat down next to each other.

    To the not so innocent…

    She could remember how beautiful Lena looked in candlelight, the flickering glow enhancing each inch of her body.

    How passionate their stolen moments were. Each second was filled with danger – at any moment they could have been caught. Feeble groping in the theater to heated kisses in alleyways.

    It had been exciting to her. Perhaps thats why no one else had been able to surpass Lena. No one could spark the fire that would consume them, leaving them exhausted and pleasantly sore.

    Lena had trusted her. Knew she would keep her safe and what had she done?

    Marina betrayed her. She betrayed them.

    Given the look Lena had given her earlier in the afternoon, the pain, the anger she had seen etched on Lenas face, in her eyes before it disappeared was something she knew shed never forget.

    Marina believed she should consider herself quite fortunate that Lena had not cut her down to size that she hadnt grabbed Bianca and stormed out.

    She hoped that Bianca was everything Lena deserved, that she would not cause Lena any undue pain. Marina had done enough her share.

    Marina was brought out of her thoughts abruptly as telephone rang. She made no move to answer it. There was only one person she wanted to speak to and she sincerely doubted Lena would call.

    The ringing soon stopped – a message had been left.

    It was Francesca – she was coming home soon.

    Marina groaned. This was all she needed.

    First there was Jenny – being with her had left her satisfied in a way Francesca had not done in the last few years. Jenny had gotten under her skin, had become more than a casual fling. Someone to tide her over til Francesca returned from whatever shoot she was on.

    Then out of nowhere Lena appeared.

    Marina had run into women she had slept with before yet, none of them had managed to do what this chance encounter had. She wasnt prepared to feel the old pull – the sudden wave of desire that had hit her once the shock had worn off.

    It lasted as long as it took Lena to shut her down.

    Sighing, Marina finished her wine. She stood up and turned off the stereo, leaving the wine glass in the sink – shed take care of it in the morning. Shutting off the lights, she headed to her bedroom, as she stepped through the doorway, she stared at the bed.

    It looked so empty.

    She felt empty.

    Going to the bathroom, she grabbed her favorite bath oil and poured a few drops into the bathtub and turned on the water.

    While the tub filled she pinned her hair up and undressed. She hissed slightly as she stepped into the tub – the hot water burning slightly, before soothing.

    Using her foot, she reached out and turned the water off. She soaked – the heat seeping into her tired muscles. Marina scooped up some water and brought it to her face, letting the water bathe her.

    Absolving her of her perceived sins.

    Her thoughts drifted once again.

    She could remember how much joy it gave her to make Lena laugh. She had never known someone try so hard not to laugh. She had made it her goal to get this joyous sound from Lena every chance she had. It was a sight to behold. Lenas face would light up – her smile… took Marinas breath away.

    Marina could re-call with absolute clarity one afternoon, after she and Lena had made love. She could say that now, she couldnt back then. Back then she was in denial.

    She had filled the bathtub of the hotel room they were at after Lena had told her that she could not remember the last time shed taken one.

    For Marina, it had seemed such a small gesture. One that Lena hugged her tight for, kissing her cheeks, her lips, thanking her. Marina had held Lenas hand as she stepped into the tub.

    This is heaven, Lena said.

    Well, that makes sense – you are my Angel, she replied.

    Marina watched as Lena bathed herself.

    No longer able to sit idly by, she took the washcloth from Lenas hands, grabbing the soap and worked up a foamy lather.

    Lenas eyes were locked on hers, stubborn droplets of water clinging to her dark eyelashes, sparkling in the bathroom incandescent light. Reaching out, Marina place the washcloth on Lenas chest – she slowly moved it across, making sure she didnt miss a spot.

    Marina paused momentarily, her hand resting on the swell of Lenas right breast before moving the washcloth across and under Lenas left breast, over the top of it, under her right breast. She continued the same motion over and over again – she had no idea how long she had kept it up. She simply followed the mantra in her head: Over, under, between.

    If it hadnt been for Lenas voice, she had probably would have kept it up til Lena pruned.

    Theyre not that dirty.

    She had answered playfully, I dont know – theyre pretty bad.

    Marina could not stop herself from giving Lenas right nipple a pinch, hearing the sharp intake of breath. She watched as Lenas eyes fluttered closed, her head falling back, her chest arching into her hand…

    Marina gasped out loud – her own eyes fluttering open, her body shuddering.

    It took her a moment to get her bearings. She couldnt believe what she had done yet she could not deny it as she slowly withdrew her fingers. Her body quaking in the aftermath of the ***** shed experienced.

    After a few minutes she washed away the evidence of her lack of control, her lack of respect towards Lena. Standing up carefully, she stepped out of the tub, the water now cold, draining.

    Marina hurriedly dried off and walked into the bedroom. Forgoing her nightgown, she got under the covers and prayed for a dreamless sleep.

    Comments

    1. of course, i wanna hear about amc. please don´t stop writting… i love it so far. keep the chapters coming, btw thank you very much for spending your time on writting such wonderful stories.
      love and best wishes from austria,
      zoe

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