Tina was seated next to Bette at their kitchen table eating slowly. She was watching Bette like a hawk and noticed that Bette wouldnt look her in the eye. What the ***** is going on? she thought as she slowly picked at her food. Bette didnt say a word as she continued to eat and when she was done she stood up and carried her plate to the kitchen. Tina followed her and set her plate down on the counter, cornering Bette in the kitchen.

Bette, what is going on? Is everything okay?

Bette turned around and looked at Tina with confusion in her eyes. She immediately felt guilty, but quickly pushed those feelings of guilt aside as she looked at the woman standing before her.

Im just tired and stressed about work. The new show is going to be arriving soon and that means many more sleepless nights for me.

Tina looked at her like she was trying to decide if Bette was telling the truth, and she looked away, not satisfied with the answer. Bette picked up on Tinas mood and walked over to her, wrapping her arms around her.

Baby, look at me.

When Tina wouldnt look at her, Bette moved her head so that she was in Tinas line of vision. Tina gave her a cold stare and Bette knew Tina was insecure about what Bette was thinking.

Baby, thats it I swear. Franklin just got me worked up with details about the new show and how he wants everything to be perfect. I promise.

Tina looked at Bette again and after what seemed like forever finally softened her stare. She gave Bette a doubtful smile, but then couldnt hold her laughter as Bette made a sad face at her. She playfully swatted Bettes arms and Bette pulled her in close for a kiss. Ill let it go for now, but this doesnt mean its over, thought Tina as she kissed Bette back.

As they got ready for bed, Bette looked at Tina and felt something she hadnt felt in a long time. Love. Sure she felt love for Tina everyday, but this was a different kind of love. This was the kind of love you feel at the beginning of a relationship, not seven years into it. Pure, uncomplicated, heart-wrenching, time-stands-still, birds chirping, overwhelming love. Tears threatened to form as she watched Tina change for bed and when Tina climbed in next to her and snuggled up to her Bette felt herself fall in love with Tina all over again. For once, Candace was not on her mind and in her dreams, and Bette was scared that she would lose this feeling again.

The next morning Bette awoke with that same feeling in the pit of her stomach. She grudgingly got out of bed and dragged herself into the shower. The hot water woke her up a little, but she knew it wasnt enough to clear her head. When she got to work she saw that there were a million messages waiting for her and the piles of paperwork on her desk seemed to multiply overnight. Sighing to herself she turned around and walked back out of the office. She called James from her cell phone and told him that she wasnt feeling good and that she was going to work from home. She got into her car to head home, but something stopped her and she took off in another direction.

Twenty minutes later she pulled up in front of Candaces office. Candace saw her pulling up and she walked outside to meet her on the street. Bette stopped next to her and rolled down the window. She looked at Candace for a long time before saying one thing.

Get in.

Candace hesitated, not knowing what Bette was up to, but after a few seconds she opened the door and sat down. Bette didnt say anything as she took off heading for a destination that she never thought she would bring Candace to. They got on the freeway and Bette decided to turn the radio on to drown out the silence. It was just her luck too, as the radio was set to an RnB station. Soon the car was filled with lyrics that both women understood and thought about as they continued to ride in silence.

It’s gonna burn for me to say this
But it’s comin from my heart
It’s been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don’t think you’re gonna change
I do but you don’t think it’s best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I’m hurting baby, I ain’t happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

When your feeling ain’t the same and your body don’t want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain’t jumpin’ like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn, Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it’s best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it’s over
We know that it’s through
Let it burn, Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Sendin’ pages I ain’t supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain’t the same
Caught myself callin’ her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It’s the way I feel
I know I made a mistake, now it’s too late
I know she ain’t comin back

Bette shut off the radio with an angrily as she gripped the steering wheel even tighter. Candace didnt say anything and looked out the window as the streets of LA whizzed by. Forty-five minutes later Bette pulled over and turned the car off. She looked at Candace before getting out and Candace followed. Bette walked over to a bench and sat down and when Candace sat down next to her she looked around and was amazed at where Bette brought her.

They were at a park in the hills of Palos Verdes and from where they were sitting they could see the entire city bustling below. On a clear day the buildings of downtown could be seen in the distance and off to the left was the Pacific Ocean. It was a beautiful spot and often frequented by couples at night. In the past Bette had brought dates here that she wanted to romance a little, but today she took advantage of its solitude. The park was surrounded by residential homes and Bette knew they wouldnt run into anyone who might possibly know them. They sat for a while on that bench in silence, just admiring the view before Candace finally spoke.

What are we doing here Bette?

Bette didnt say anything as she continued to stare out at nothing. She didnt know why she had brought Candace there, she didnt even know why she went to see Candace. She had expected herself to break down when she saw Candace, but for some reason, she felt stronger than she ever had. She looked at Candace and thought about all they had been through these past few months. She still didnt have answers as to why she felt an attraction to Candace, but she was beginning to see her in a different light. When she didnt answer Candace spoke again, this time slowly reaching out to hold Bettes hand.

I thought you didnt want to see me again. I thought we couldnt be friends?

This last statement had a lot of weight to it and Bette understood what Candace was saying. She felt a chill run through her body as she sat there with Candace holding her hand, but she fought off the urge to kiss her as she finally answered her question.

I just wanted to show this to you.

Bette knew it was a cop-out and she looked down as she continued speaking.

Candace, I dont know what is going on. I want you, but I cannot have you in my life. Does that make any sense?

Candace moved a little closer to Bette and looked down but didnt say anything. They sat there like this for a few minutes before Bette spoke again.

Everything is a mess. I thought this was over, I thought I was over you, but when I saw you on Friday with another woman it tore me up inside. I dont know why Im feeling like this, but I also know that I love Tina. I just dont know if thats enough.

Candace looked at Bette with a serious look on her face. Bette looked up and met her stare with a look filled with uncertainty and question. Candace studied her face and after a little while her expression changed to a playful one as she spoke.

Im not seeing her you know. The woman I brought on Friday. Shes an oldfriendbut were not together now.

Bette smiled at Candace as she felt herself breathe a sigh of relief at this information. Why am I happy about that? she thought as she looked into Candaces eyes. Candace looked back at her with a steady look as she waited for Bette to speak.

You treat all your friends like that?

Candace smiled at Bettes obvious jealousy and she knew that the feelings she had for Bette were returned, at least in part. Candace looked away as she tried to figure out what to say next.

Bette, I dont know if this is a good idea. I mean you keep saying that you want me out of your life and that you dont want to see me, but we always end up back where we started.

Bette understood that Candace was trying to figure everything out and she felt good knowing that Candace was not trying to rush her into a relationship.

I know.

And I know its not my place to say this, but I dont think you know what you want. I think you should figure it out, and when you do, Ill be here.

Candace looked at Bette and she could see how lost Bette was. Bette didnt know what to say to that and she just sat there holding on to Candace as if she was her life support. They sat there for the better part of an hour and when Bette looked down at her watch she saw how long they had been gone. They got back into Bettes car and drove back to West Hollywood in complete silence. After Bette dropped Candace off at her office she drove back to the CAC. When she got there she sat in her car thinking about what Candace had said.

I dont know what I want. I want Candace because of the way she makes me feel, but I need Tina in my life. I cant live without her. How the ***** did I get in this situation?

Bette sat there contemplating her decision. She thought about all the good times with Tina and all the memories they shared. She thought about their wedding and how in love they had been. But then she thought about the more recent years and how trying their relationship had become. She remembered Tina losing the baby and what a toll that took on the relationship. Then she thought about Candace and how instantly she felt alive again just being around her. Images of Tina yelling at her that night and hitting her and forcing her to do those things to her all flashed before her eyes. Then the feeling of emptiness she felt after Tina left her took over her body and she remembered how even after all that, Tina gave her a second chance. Another chance to reclaim her life and be with the person she loved most in the world. Tears formed in her eyes as she realized what her decision was and how much it was going to hurt. Bette felt a wave of sadness wash over her as she thought about how much she didnt want to lose this person but she fought it off knowing it was the only thing she could do. Sometimes doing the right thing kills you, but at times like this, its the only way to go.