Chapter 23

While Bette did some much needed cleaning around the house – Tina slept. Tina had mentioned in the early afternoon that she was tired. Bette suggested she take a nap. Bette assured her that she’d take care of things. She also promised not to cook!

Bette smiled as she recalled walking into the bedroom with Tina – hand in hand – turning down the covers for her – and then tucking her in. She remembered sitting on the edge of the bed and holding Tina’s hand while she drifted off to sleep. She watched Tina as she slept – she looked exhausted. She continued to study Tina – as her shallow breaths became more steady and deep. Bette whispered to Tina, “Poor Baby – I love you so much Tina -you sleep – I’ll take care of you…I’ll always take care of you.” When Bette was sure that Tina was sound asleep – she carefully removed her hand from hers – stood up – bent down, and kissed her cheek. Bette whispered a final, “I love you T.” and left the bedroom.

It was now four hours later. Bette quietly returned to the bedroom. Tina said she wanted to get up at 6:00pm, but – looking at her while she slept – Bette couldn’t bring herself to wake her up. She looked so peaceful – so damn adorable. Besides, she needed the sleep – that was obvious.

Bette climbed into bed with Tina. She carefully placed her hand on Tina’s and closed her eyes. She didn’t sleep. She thought about how wonderful their life had turned out after all the pain they had suffered – alone and together. They were strong now – nothing could come between them – neither one of them would allow it. Life was good – life was good!

It would be another hour before Tina began to stir. Bette opened her eyes to find a very sleepy Tina looking back at her. They spoke to each other softly…

“Hi Baby.”

“Hey T…how are you feeling?”

“I’m still tired – how long did I sleep?”

“About five hours…I missed you.”

Tina squeezed Bette’s hand, “Is that why you’re here with me now – because you missed me?”

“Yeah – that’s why.” Bette raised their hands to her mouth and kissed Tina’s.

They gazed into each others eyes for a long time. If eyes could smile – their eyes smiled at each other.

“Tina – I am so in love with you. Every day – when I see you for the first time – I fall in love with you all over again.”

“I feel so loved – so cared for and so safe when I’m with you Bette. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You have been so wonderful…so present. I love you Babe…I really love you.”

Bette sighed, “Tina – do you ever get scared – I mean – about having a family? Because sometimes I get really scared. Like – how am I going to know what to do? Will I be a good parent? What do I do if…whatever? Sometimes I just feel like I’m just not ready. Does that sound terrible of me?”

“No. I get scared too. I think most first time parents do – it’s not like you get an owners manual or anything. But you know what?”

“What?”

“We’re going to be doing it together. We have so much love to give – it just can’t go wrong. It just can’t.”

“I don’t even know how to change a diaper Tina.”

“You’ll learn – you’ll learn everything.” Tina ran her hand through Bette’s hair. “You’re going to be fine – we’re all going to be just fine.”

“Tina?”

“What Baby?”

“You know – we only have four more months alone with each other before the babies get here. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with sharing you.”

Tina smiled at Bette. “After everything we’ve been through – there is no way I’m going to risk losing you Bette. I’ll always have time for you. I’ll make time for you. And we’ll always make time for us.”

Bette looked at Tina with adoring eyes. “T…I hope the babies look just like you – I hope they have your eyes, your nose, your lips.” Bette leaned over, closed her eyes and kissed Tina tenderly on the lips.

“I hope they look like you – with beautiful dark eyes – and a beautiful smile.” Tina touched Bette lightly on the nose with the tip of her finger. “The babies are going to be beautiful – mixed race babies are gorgeous – just look at you.”

“Hey T…wouldn’t it be a trip if they ended up being blonde?”

“Yeah Babe – but stranger things have happened.”

Bette smiled at Tina – a sweet smile that melted Tina’s heart.

“Tina – I have something I want to give you. It’s from Dylan and Taylor too. They designed it.” Bette winked at Tina.

Bette leaned over and opened the drawer of the night table. She pulled out a small box – wrapped in white paper with pink and blue ribbons tied in a bow. She handed it to Tina. Tina studied the box – and then slowly untied the ribbons and tore off the paper and opened it. Inside the box was a gold pendant – shaped like a heart. The heart had five diamonds on it.

“Oh Baby – it’s beautiful. Thank you so much – I love you.” Tina kissed Bette – pausing afterward to look in her eyes. “Will you put it on me? Please?” Bette placed the pendant around Tina’s neck.

“Tina – each one of the diamonds represents one of us – our family.”

“Bette – there are five diamonds. Last time I counted – there were four of us.”

“Actually Tina – there are five of us.” Tina looked confused.

“The fifth diamond is for the little boy we lost. Now you can always keep him and the rest of us close to your heart. I told you I’d never forget him – Tina – I meant it.”

Tears formed in Tina’s eyes. Her voice was uneven as she spoke, “You know sometimes I think I should try to forget – but I can’t – I just can’t – I don’t want to.” Tears began rolling down Tina’s cheeks. Bette kissed them away.

“Bette?”

“Yeah Sweetie?”

“Will you hold me please – I want to feel your arms around me.” Tina moved her body so that Bette was behind her – so she could wrap her arms around her. Bette nuzzled her face into Tina’s hair.

Bette sighed, “I could stay just like this forever – just like this T. You’re so soft, so warm, so beautiful Tina. I’m so lucky to have you with me. I adore you.”

Tina let out a sigh as she enjoyed the safety and comfort of Bette’s embrace. Bette slid her hand down to Tina’s belly. She nuzzled closer – she couldn’t seem to get close enough.

Bette whispered, “Tina – you make me so happy – are you happy Baby?”

“I’m happy – I’m really happy. Just hold me please – don’t ever let me go.”

Tears formed in Bette’s eyes, “I promise Baby…I won’t…I won’t ever let go. I promise.”