“Hi, I’m Melanie and this is dedicated to Bianca. Um, I love you Bianca!” The strains of ‘I Touch Myself’ came blaring over the speakers near Alice and Dana.

“So… How are… things?” Alice picked up one of the drinks in front of her and took a big gulp. “Oh Goddamn!” She wheezed.

Dana leaned forward, concerned. “Are you okay?”

Alice nodded though her eyes were watering. “Long Island Iced Tea.” She smacked her lips together. “You want one of these? I look like an alcoholic.”

Dana shrugged, reaching for one of the two remaining drinks sitting in front of Alice. “Things are… okay…” She gingerly sipped the drink she had chosen, smiling when she recognised it as a strawberry daiquiri. “What about for you?”

Alice shook her head, and smiled a little too largely. “Oh yeah, things are great.”

Dana sighed. “Al…”

Alice’s smile faltered a little.

“Al, you kissed me.”

Alice raised her eyebrows. “I… Well yes Dana that may be tr…”

“Why Al?” Dana interrupted Alice before she could truly get on a spiel about specifics and details.

“Jesus, get to the point why don’t you…” Alice mumbled sitting up a little straighter. She looked at Dana, looked down, looked at Dana again, reached for her drink and began chugging it with all her might.

“Oh Jesus Alice what are you doing?” Dana looked on in shock.

Alice, still drinking, held up one finger telling Dana to wait. Alice drained the last few drops before slamming the glass back on the table.

“Boo yah!” She shook her head, blew out a breath and grinned.

Dana just stared at her, expectant.

“Oh right, why I kissed you…” Alice leaned forward, clicked her fingers and then sighed. “Ton… That ‘woman’ you’re marrying is a she ***** from *****.”

Dana’s eyebrows sky rocketed into her hairline. “And you felt the best way to transfer that knowledge was by kissing me?”

Alice shrugged. “Pretty much Dane.” She looked pleased with herself. “Yeah, that’s why I lay one on ya. Uh huh.” Alice leaned back, totally relaxed.

Dana looked thoughtful. “No.”

Alice’s grin faltered just a little. “No?”

Dana looked up. “No Al, that isn’t why you kissed me. It doesn’t make sense.”

Alice opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. The alcohol was buzzing threw her system, making concentration a little difficult. She frowned, searching for an argument. Her eyes suddenly lit up. “You kissed me back!”

It was Dana’s turn to be speechless.

“Yeah that’s right, you kissed me back. And not just any kiss mind you, no sir-ee, no ‘hey how are ya my good buddy Alice’ kiss, no ‘hey I think it’s best we remain friends’ kiss, no ‘hey you know what, I’m in love with someone else who I want to marry and so shouldn’t be kissing you right now’ type of kiss, no…”

“Alright! Alright I get it! Jesus…”

Alice nodded, squinting her eyes, leaning forward again. “Ahh see Dana Dane-ikins, perhaps the question we should be asking ourselves is why did you kiss me back?”

Dana rolled her eyes. “You’re drunk.”

“The subject is avoiding the question.”

“I’m not avoiding the question… I’m… I’m…” Dana’s mouth dropped open, suddenly pointing a finger at Alice. “You’re avoiding this conversation by being drunk!”

“I’m not drunk! And how can I avoid a conversation I’m taking part in?”

Dana frowned. “Stop confusing me with your tricky logic.”

Alice wiggled her eyebrows. “Maybe you should get drunk…”

Dana sighed. “I need to leave.” She stood up.

Alice’s expression sobered somewhat. “No Dana, don’t go. I’m sorry, I’m being an *****.”

Dana just looked defeated.

“Well let’s at least leave together.” Alice stood up. “Please?”

“You want to go somewhere?” Dana looked doubtful.

“Yeah, yeah I just don’t want you to leave while things are like this, okay?”

Dana nodded. “Well, my place is out. You know, the uh, she ***** is there and all.” She smiled weakly.

Alice laughed. “My place should be fine, knowing Bette and Tina they’re off somewhere talking things through.” Alice frowned. “Maybe.”

They started walking out of The Planet.

“That was amazing.” Dana had her head down, hands in her pockets. “What Bette did tonight.”

“Yeah,” Alice nodded in agreement. “Who knew she had it in her, huh?”

Dana again looked thoughtful. “Yeah.”

______________________________

Shane looked at Bette, then looked away shaking her head in disbelief. “That was awesome tonight Bette.”

Bette took a swig from the bottle of Jameson 12 they’d purchased on their way to Bette’s house. Just Bette’s house now, she thought, no Tina, no Bette… and… Tina…

“I fucked things up so badly…” She groaned letting her head fall onto the countertop in the kitchen.

Shane grabbed the bottle, nodding. “Yes you did.” She took a swig. “Which means you have to fix them.”

Bette lifted her head up, tears in her eyes. She looked at Shane. “How? How do I fix them?”

Shane looked thoughtful, sipping on the whiskey. “I don’t really know…” Bette groaned again, letting her head fall again with a loud thud. “But I would say that it all comes back to love. Do you love her Bette?”

Bette’s head jerked up. “Of course I do. I love her more than anything!”

Shane nodded. “When did you first doubt that?”

Bette opened her mouth, shocked. “I… I…” She just stared at Shane. “Just before, just before she miscarried.” She whispered, her face crumpling. “I… I don’t know what was wrong with me, I didn’t mean it to happen it just… everything just got too much and I… I went numb… I just went numb…”

Shane nodded again. “Yeah, I know what that’s like.”

Bette sat up, looking at Shane sympathetically. “Look at me, crying over problems I’ve created and you’re hurting and I’m not even asking how you are… Shane, how are you?”

Shane nearly laughed at the serious look on Bette’s face. She must be drunk, she thought as inebriation slowly took hold of her itself.

“I’m not so good actually Bette, thankyou for asking.” She tilted her head, before taking another swig. Bette motioned for the bottle.

“What happened?” Bette knocked back the whisky, gagging slightly, before doing so again.

Shane sighed. “I fell in love.”

Bette blinked. “With who? Oh God Shane I feel like such a *****, I didn’t even know…”

“It’s okay, really, it’s not like I went around town telling everyone… or anyone…” Shane frowned. “I fell in love and she broke my heart. She’s married, see.”

Bette blinked again. “Oh.” Was all she could manage.

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

They both were quiet for a few moments, passing the whisky back and forth.

“Is there anything I can do?” Bette asked softly.

Shane smiled. “You know what Bette, I actually feel a little better already.”

Bette smiled, and leaned towards Shane with a slightly glazed look in her eyes. “I think that could be the alcohol…”

Shane grinned, taking the bottle and raising it in a toast. “You could be right there.”

Bette looked down at where she was leaning, her face suddenly crumpling into drunken misery.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Shane put a comforting hand on Bette’s shoulder.

“It’s just…” Bette hiccoughed. “It’s just…”

“What, just spill it out…” Shane’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“We worshipped sperm right here, in this spot, together!” Bette managed to get out before throwing her head into her hands, sobbing.

Shane just nodded sagely, tilting the whisky bottle back for another drink.

______________________________

Alice put her key in the front door of her apartment, surprised to find it already open. She turned back to a waiting Dana. Dana just looked at her.

“What?”

“Well, either Tina is here… Or I’m being robbed.” Alice bit her lip.

They both stood there staring at the door.

“Should we, call the police?” Dana asked, grabbing Alice’s arm for comfort.

Alice looked down at Dana’s hand, and then into Dana’s face. “It could just be Tina.” She whispered. “Maybe you should check it out…”

Dana let go of Alice’s arm. “Me? Why do I have to do it? It’s your apartment!” Dana poked Alice, punctuating her last point.

“Ow, stop that!” Alice swatted Dana’s hand away. “Because, you’re the athlete!”

“I’m not exactly a hockey player Alice! Look at these arms!”

“You want to compare muscle mass? I’ll bury you with my weakness!”

Dana frowned deeply. “Alice…”

“And besides, I’m drunk… remember?”

Dana sighed. “How about we both go in?”

Alice nodded. “Okay… Okay… You first.”

Dana opened her mouth to protest, but Tina appeared in the doorway first.

“Alice you’re not being robbed, it’s just me, come in already.” Tina’s eyes were blood shot, her face was pale and her clothes looked rumpled.

Dana, embarrassed, followed Tina into Alice’s living room while Alice locked, and then re-locked the front door. Satisfied that the door could not be opened from the outside without a key, she ambled after her friends.

Dana was sitting with Tina. Tina had her head in her hands, Dana rubbing her back. She looked up at Alice, worry etched clearly onto her face.

Alice knelt down in front of Tina. “Tina, sweetie are you okay?”

Tina shook her head ‘No’, her head still in her hands.

“It’s okay, Tina, it’s going to be okay…” Dana said softly. Alice looked at Dana, an almost adoring expression on her face.

“I told her I couldn’t love her anymore…” It was muffled, but both Alice and Dana heard, shock registering on both of their faces.

“Did you mean it Tee?” Alice whispered, reaching out and stroking Tina’s knee.

Tina looked up, in anguish, breaking down and falling into Alice’s embrace. “No… No… No…”

Dana watched them hug, almost in tears herself. She motioned to Alice, telling her she was going to leave and went to stand up. At Alice’s glare however, she sat straight back down.

Tina pulled back. “I… I need to sleep… I just don’t want to think anymore…”

Alice nodded, standing and pulling Tina up with her. “Why don’t you take my bed tonight?”

Tina shook her head. “No I couldn’t…” But Alice was already leading her into her bedroom. Dana sat awkwardly on the couch, looking around, sitting on her hands and trying to ignore the butterfly’s in her stomach. For something to do, she reached into her jacket pocket and picked up her cell phone, turning it on for the first time that night. The ‘Scooby Doo’ theme immediately started blaring from her tiny phone, announcing a call coming through. Seeing it was Tonya, she quickly turned the phone off again. She wasn’t ready to deal with that situation just yet.

She sighed. Okay. Okay. What was she going to say to Alice? ‘Hey, that kiss rocked my world, actually it changed my world… it made me resent my fiance, question our friendship, and for some reason made me miss Mr. P even more…’ At the thought of Mr. P, Dana’s chin trembled just a little. He was the best cat in the whole world, the most loyal and caring creature. Just unconditional love, that’s what he’d given her. And he’d been so soft, and so loving. He hadn’t cared about any of her faults, he’d just loved her.

She started remembering when she’d first gotten him, chasing him around her apartment as he scratched up couch cushion after favorite sweater after couch cushion. He’d been her first friend when she’d moved out on her own, for a little while he’d been her only friend.

She missed his purring, his cat hugs, his smell. She missed the way he’d look at her, pissed off when Lara had stayed over and she locked him out of her room, or beseechingly when he wanted food even if he’d already eaten, or just plain lovingly when he wanted comfort.

She frowned when she thought of the way Tonya had interacted with him, shooing him away or locking him out of the bedroom even if they weren’t going to have *****. And then he’d died, and all Tonya had said when Dana said she missed him was “I’ll get you a new pet sweetie! How about a bird? Oh I just love birds!”

Mr. Piddles. He was a good pet. He was the best pet. He was the only pet, for her.

Alice sat next to Dana, jarring Dana out of her thoughts.

“You okay Dane?”

“I was, thinking of Mr. Piddles… I really miss him.” Dana played with her hands, feeling foolish for missing a cat and get teary about it.

But Alice just nodded, putting her arm around her. “He was a great cat Dane.”

It hit Dana, then, sitting on Alice’s couch in Alice’s arms that a lot of what she felt for Mr Piddles transferred over to Alice. Alice, who teased her mercilessly but never once questioned or put her down. Who was always there, loyal and caring, who in her own way offered Dana unconditional love. Dana pulled herself out of Alice’s embrace, quickly looking away.

“Is something wrong?” Alice looked a little hurt.

Dana stood up. “I need to go, I really need to go.” She hurriedly made her way to the front door, Alice following her with a “What the *****?”

Dana wrenched the lock open, as Alice grabbed her arm. “Dana, please don’t leave, why are you going?”

Dana shook her head. “I just, I need to go Al, please let me go.”

“No, Dana, what happened? What did I do?”

“It wasn’t… Just please let me go!” Dana seemed frantic, so Alice did as she was asked and let her go.

Dana walked out, then walked back in and quickly lent up and kissed a startled Alice. It was simple, almost chaste, yet utterly intense. “I’m sorry. For everything.” She whispered before walking out again.

Alice stood there, stunned. “What the ***** just happened?” She threw her hands up, looking around her, then touched her lips and smiled. “She kissed me.” She said quietly. “But why the ***** did she leave?” She stamped her foot, annoyed at the confusion she was feeling. She shut the door, and walked to her room, shaking her head and looking bewildered.

She threw herself onto her bed next to Tina, who even in sleep had the look of a heart broken woman. Alice sighed and stared at her ceiling.

“***** ***** drama.” She whispered, not even bothering to try and make sense of it all. “Just ***** ***** drama.”