Chapter 2

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking.
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating.
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known.
And you’ve never met anyone as everything as I am sometimes.

Alanis Morissette, “Everything,” 2004


‘***** it’s hot,’ Bette thought as she stepped off the plane. Her linen pants were already sticking
to her skin, and she could feel the humidity in the air, thick as the silence between Tina and her.
While Tina went to the bathroom, Bette went to the baggage area and waited with everyone else
for their luggage to come down the ramp. There were couples everywhere, a reminder to Bette of
how hard she was going to have to work to get Tina to forgive her. It wasn’t going to be easy,
especially with happy honeymooners all over the damn place.

Tina wet a towel and placed the coolness against her forehead. She was nauseated, and tired. She
couldn’t wait to get to their room so she could pass out, the longer the better. She knew that they
were going to have to have it out, a real big one, but she just wasn’t in the mood for all the drama
just yet. She was supposed to be happy, they were supposed to be happy.

Even though their relationship had been rocky over the past months, well, maybe longer, Tina had
hoped that with Bette wrapping up the show they would finally have time for each other again.
She wanted them to work through whatever it was that had come between them. The fault lie
with both of them, for letting things get so far gone that they could hardly be civil to one another,
except when Tina was playing the dutiful wife, as she had at the opening. She had been so proud
of Bette, so proud of her success, and this was the thanks she got for all the lonely nights, all of
Bette’s moods as she put the show together?

It had all turned out so fucked up, and Tina was unsure if they were going to be able to make it in
the end. She didn’t know if she was the kind of woman that could stand by someone who had
cheated on her. As much as she loved Bette, she did not know if she would ever be able to forgive
and forget. She didn’t know if she wanted to put in the effort, especially if she was the only one
willing to work for it.

She left the bathroom and made it over to where Bette was standing.

“The resort should have sent us a driver,” Tina said. They both began looking around and Tina
finally spotted a man holding a sign that read ‘Kennard.’

They wearily walked over to him, trying to be polite as he put their bags on a cart and tried to
make small talk. They made their way out into the Acapulco mid-day sun and towards a pink and
white jeep parked in the pick up zone. If Bette had her way, they would have been picked up in a
limo, with real air conditioning and bottled water; but she wasn’t calling the shots. This was
Tina’s deal, and she was going to ride in that hideous thing if it killed her.

‘It’s going to kill me bouncing around in that thing,’ Tina thought when she saw the jeep. She
almost clutched her stomach in response, but she kept her hands at her sides, resisting the urge.
Her only consolation was that Bette looked miserable, and Tina knew it was probably eating her
up to have to ride in it. Tina was going to smile and enjoy it if it killed her.

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Las Brisas was located high on a hill, overlooking the bay of Acapulco. The private casitas were
pink and white themed, and the more expensive the room, the higher it was on the hill. Tina had
booked one of the Master Suites, mostly due to the fact that it had a swimming pool inside of the
room as well as a private outdoor pool that could not be seen by anyone else. Tina had checked
out the place when they had planned their honeymoon years earlier, but Bette had wanted to go to
Italy instead, and Tina gave in, just like she always did. This time, they would go where she
wanted.

Mario opened the door for them and Tina’s mood brightened. The pictures she had seen on the
internet did not begin to do this place justice. Her shoes clicked on the marble floors, so shiny and
clean she could see her reflection. In line with the front door was a dining area, and to the left of
that, the kitchen. Tina had asked them to stock it so that they wouldn’t have to leave for food.
She didn’t know if she felt like being around anyone, and didn?t want to take the chance in case
she was famished when they arrived.

There were large full length windows overlooking a spectacular view, and in front of the windows
was the indoor pool, large enough to get some decent exercise in. He took their bags to the
bedroom, placing them near the door. Tina took some money for a tip out of her purse, and
handed it to Mario, who quickly asked if they needed anything else. Tina said no, and while Bette
was distracted with the view, he slipped out.

Bette looked around the room, impressed by the classiness of the place. She remembered that
Tina had wanted to come here for their honeymoon, wanted to spend two weeks in bed with her,
wanted to swim in a pool while overlooking the life that was happening below them. Bette had
been planning a trip to Italy to check out some of the smaller galleries. She had her eyes on a few
up and coming artists and she wanted to see them in person. With a honeymoon there, she could
kill two birds with one stone, and so that was what she insisted they do.

What a mistake that had been. Bette ended up being in full work mode, and she and Tina spent
very little time together at all. While Bette took off to do her thing, Tina went sightseeing, alone.
She saw the all of the places that she and Bette were supposed to see together; the Parthenon,
Trevi Fountain, St. Peter’s. Bette kept telling her she needed one more day at this gallery, and one
more day to see this or that artist. Next thing Tina knew, it was their last night in Rome. They had
made love twice since arriving, and Tina was set on rectifying that situation.

She had ordered room service, with a great bottle of wine, and she sat clothed only in her robe
waiting for Bette to come back. When she finally did, she told Tina she was so exhausted she just
wanted to have a bit to eat and go to sleep. She would finish packing in the morning, but she just
needed the rest. Tina sat there, stunned. She wanted to tell Bette off, to tell her that she couldn’t
believe that this was their honeymoon, that Bette had used it as an excuse to put in a ton of work.
She knew that the gallery that Bette was working for had also paid some of their expenses, which
incensed Tina even more. Bette could be a real tight wad, but this was going too far. Instead of
the romantic evening Tina envisioned, she spent it alone. She drank the bottle of wine, ate a little
of the food, and passed out. Because she didn’t set the alarm, they both overslept, causing them
to run late to the airport and miss their flight home.

Bette had been pissed, but for Tina it was a small victory. They spent the entire trip home mad at
one another and it was a start in the wrong direction for them. A year later, Bette had booked
them for another trip to Rome, and it seemed to make Tina happy. Bette didn’t realize though that
the damage had already been done. She had made the fatal mistake of putting Tina last so many
times over the years, always trying to make it up to her with things, buying her presents, taking
her places. When they would get into one of their fights, Tina would always throw that in Bette’s
face, how she thought money made everything better. To Bette, it did. There was no fight that
couldn’t be cured by a new Vera Wang, Armani, or Chanel. If Bette was going to bust her *****
they way that she did, she might as well give Tina the fruits of those efforts.

Tina shook off her memories and walked into the large bedroom, noticing the king sized bed. She sat, and bounced on it a
little. Not that she thought the bed would see any of that kind of action, but it was routine to do
that when sitting on a hotel bed. One bed. Was she going to sleep with Bette? Tina thought she
might just tell Bette to sleep on the couch, and while it looked as though it wouldn’t be too
uncomfortable, she had been sleeping on the couch a lot lately. That sort of thing was bad for the
back. It was a big enough bed, she could just tell Bette to stay on her own side, and not to invade
her space. That seemed like something she could live with.

Tina laid down, the exhaustion of the night and day finally making her crave nothing but sleep.
She curled up on her side, and with thoughts of Bette, fell into a deep sleep.

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Bette came into the room minutes later, unsure if her presence was welcomed. She found Tina
asleep, lightly snoring. She used to tease Tina about her snoring, which she had insisted was a
figment of Bette’s imagination. One night, while making some notes on her voice recorder, she
had caught the sounds coming from Tina’s nose and played them back the next day for her.
‘Surely you made those noises yourself, Porter,’ Tina had said.

Bette sat in an overstuffed chair, placed close to the bed. Her chest ached as she watched Tina,
wondering how she had allowed herself to get caught up in the situation with Candace. She loved
her wife, there was no denying that. They had just become so distant, and instead of confiding in
Tina, letting her know that she was scared too, she had just become more closed off than ever.
Why had Tina put up with her all these years? Bette settled in, hoping that when Tina woke up,
she would be ready to talk.