Dana felt something moist hit her face, and she raised her hand to wipe it away. It smelled kind of funny and looking at her fingers, she started to convulse with disgust, Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Alex was stirred awake and looked around disoriented as Shane tried to shush Dana into silence. It shat on mea ***** bird pooped on me! she shrieked under her breath. Shane grabbed the hem of her shirt and gently wiped Danas fingers and face, softly rubbing her back in consolation. Alex gave Dana a sympathetic look and got to her feet, stretching out and surveying the sky overhead, I think its still early given the position of the sun in the sky. Alice rolled over and replied archly, Why dont you just look at a watch instead, Sitting Bull. They had fallen asleep waiting for Bette and Tinas tent to stop rocking. It was now about 4:30am and they decided the best thing to do would be to crawl into their tents without disturbing the folks. God, my neck is killing, Alice complained, rubbing the back of her neck. Yeah, well, at a least a bird didnt take a dump on your face first thing in the morning, Dana hissed bitterly. Shane pulled her into an embrace and patted her head softly.

They managed to sleep for a couple more hours before Bette was softly rapping at their tents, Whos got the keys to the van? Alex stuck out a fist holding the keys, and quickly zipped up the tent as Bette walked away. It seems they had a long night, she commented to Tina as she opened the back door to unload the food and folding table for breakfast. The gang finally emerged from their tents, not looking half as well-rested as mom and dad. They shot bitter glances at each other than at Bette and Tina as they shuffled over to the table laden with fruits, bread, cheese and water. So I think were not going to ask you if you slept well, Bette said brightly. Tina just chuckled as Dana nuzzled a weary head into her shoulder and picked up a fistful of grapes from the table. Alex slapped her hands together and started rummaging through one of her bags, Alright, who wants coffee? The entire group looked up with interest: in her arms Alex carried a small pot, a metal thing that looked like those sticks that are used for blowing bubbles, a large thermos, a little u-shaped stand with wire gauze over the top and a can of coffee. She bent down and quickly got a little fire going, then whistled to Shane to pass her the large bottle of that was by Shanes elbow. She emptied the water in the pot and placed it on the stand which was over the fire so it could boil; she then proceeded to dress the metal stick in what looked like a stocking. Everyone was completely mystified:

Alice: What are you doing?

Alex: (matter-of-factly) Making coffee.

Dana: (confused) Is that a stocking?

Alex: Sort of

Shane: (concerned) Its not usedis it?

Alex: Of courseit adds to the flavor(noticing everyones faces) no, no, no its not used.

Tina: (excited and the only one understanding what was going on) Oh my godthat is so cool!

It might be a little strong, Alex said, wiggling her eyebrows as she dumped some coffee grounds into the filter and positioning it over the open thermos. As the water boiled to a roar, she took off her t-shirt (wearing a tank top underneath) and grabbed the pot. She jerked her head for Shane to help holding the filter thingy, and she poured the water through, filling the thermos with fresh coffee and the air with its rich aroma. They all gasped at Alexs pseudo-feat; That was so ***** cool, Shane said in amazement, scratching her head. They finished up breakfast and started cleaning up around their tents, making sure to lock everything important up in the suburban. While Bette, Tina and Alice ducked back into the tents to change, Dana and Shane huddled around Alex as she readied the three fishing poles she had managed to secure for the trip. She flipped open her tackle box and pointed to what looked like a disposable soup container, Okay, hand me one of the worms in there and Ill teach you how to bait your hook. Dana whipped her hand away and gasped, Did you say worm? Shane gave her a hearty slap on the back, Cmon, Dane, you dealt with bird ***** this morningon your face! Alex nodded her head in agreement, A worm is small fries compared to that.

Dana took a deep breath and wiggled her fingers into the moist earth, pulling out a soft, wiggling earthworm between her thumb and index finger. Shane clapped excitedly as Dana handed the worm to Alex, her face contorted with both revulsion and exultation. Nice job Dana! Fat and juicaaaaay! Alex shouted with a Southern accent, giving Dana a celebratory high five. Shane turned around and noticed Bette and Tina were out of their tent and helping each other with their bikini tops, Hey guys, cmon on over so Alex can teach you to bait your hooks! she shouted waving them over. As they approached, Dana looked up, face flushed with pride and held up her earthworm writhing miserably around on the fish hook. Bette took a step backwards into Tinas embrace, grimacing slightly. Dana gave her a little wink, Dont worry, BetteIll bait your fish hook for you. Just then Alice sauntered over, causing Shane to inhale sharply and grin into a wolf whistle. She was wearing a bright red barely there bikini top and her matching bottom was hidden under a bright floral mini skirt-type wrap. Danas mouth fell open and Alex just shook her head, Jesus, Alice there are going to be children there! Alice twirled around dramatically, They should learn to appreciate beauty at an early ageright Bette? Bette just shrugged her shoulders, poking a tentative finger into the cup of worms.

They waited a few minutes while Alex, Dana and Shane changed into their bathing suits, Alex opting for a dense clump of bushes a few feet away. Shortly afterward they began the 20 minute walk to the fishing area of the lake: Alex, Dana, and Bette had their fishing poles over their shoulders, while Shane and Tina each carried bags with snacks, extra clothes, towels, and a host of other things that Alex personally considered unnecessary. Alice skipped alongside Shane, swinging the cooler which contained some more food. Alex was relating a story about a salmon she once caught during a previous camping trip, when the quiet morning air was cut by the sound of Alice whistlingthe whistling theme from the Andy Griffith show. Everyone else looked over at her and she spread her lips into her pixiesh smile, I couldnt help myself, you guys look so cute with your little fishing poles. Before they knew it, they arrived at their destination, the lake spreading before them with the mountains beyond reflected peacefully in the water. It was still early enough that only a few people were gathered around the lake, and Alex easily spotted a good spot for them to set up camp. Tina had Bette check the knots on her top one last time before diving into the water from a high rock; Bette held her breath, then smiled with relief when she resurfaced, smiling and waving toward the shore. Tina plunged below the water swimming away gracefully further into the lake. Meanwhile, Alice had laid out a beach towel in a sunny patch of grass and laid down, face up. Arent you gonna do anything, Al, Dana asked, glancing over as she now expertly baited Bettes hook. I am, Dana, its called getting a tan, Alice answered with a weary sigh.

Alex launched into giving Dana and Bette a quick lesson of how to handle their fishing poles as Shane stripped down to her own one-piece speedo. Mighty conservative there, Shane, Alice quipped, peeking at her out of one eye. Shane arched an eyebrow quickly, and jogged down to the rocks by the water. As Bette cast for the first time, a loud ***** its cold! resounded through the trees and Shane came running back up toward them. Alice shifted on her towel as Shane gratefully joined her in the sun. Dana felt a small tug on her line and started jumping up and down asking what do; after some skilled coaching from Alex, she reeled in a four-inch red and white fish, thrashing pitifully on Danas hook. Alice quickly got her camera and captured Danas proud moment with her first catch before it was released back into the water. After the commotion had settled, Bette pulled in her line, actually placing a new worm on the hook herself, inwardly hoping that by doing it personally, she would be rewarded with Danas good fortune. As she cast the line, Dana jabbed an elbow into her ribs, It seems like Tinas got a friend. Bette looked in the direction Dana indicated and saw Tina, still in the water, holding onto the side of a motor-propelled boat and talking to the man within it. Oh, *****, thats the guy from the office! Alex said, arching an eyebrow at Bette. Bette looked over at Alice and Shane and motioned toward Tina, Can you guys go rescue her?

Shes your woman, Alice said, trying to steal Danas fishing pole away from her. Bette toyed with her spool a little, Im busy fishing. Shane chuckled and pulled on Alices arm hauling her down the small slope to the water as she shouted, Yeah, thats really nice Bette, should we tell her thatthat you were too busy fishing for seaweed that we had to tear her away from Mr. Hunky-Man out there. The three left behind, watched as Alice and Shane swam out toward Tina, apparently introduced themselves to the man in the boat, then all climbed clumsily into the boat and sped away, screaming as the boat picked up speed. Dana and Alex tried to stifle their amusement at watching Bettes face twist with despair; Alex gave her an encouraging little punch, Well, look on the bright side, you and Tina had a good time while it lasted and weve finally gotten rid of Alicealthough losing Shane kinda sucks. A while later, the boat sped across in front of them, then made a sharp turn heading straight toward their little cliff. As they approached, Tina cupped her hands in front of her mouth and shouted, Hey, babe, grab the camera and take a picture of us. Bette grudgingly handed her pole to Alex, and picked up Alices camera from the ground, snapping a picture of Tina, Alice, Shane, and office-man with arms around each other sitting on the boat and smiling broadly.

Anyone else want a ride? office-man offered through a shout. Both Bette and Alex held up a hand as if to say no thanks but Dana happily handed her pole to Alex and jumped into the water, shivering slightly as she climbed into the boat. Tina dove into the water to make room on the boat and swam back to the rocky shore. As she slowly made her way up to them, Alex cleared her throat and looked anxiously at Bette, Promise you wont kill for what Im going to say, with a quick nod from Bette and an even quicker glance at Tina, Alex continued, You are a VERY lucky woman. Bette smiled warmly, and toyed with her spool again. Tina pressed a chilly hand against Bettes cheek that made her shriek, Jesus, your hands freezing! Tina grabbed a towel and started drying herself off, Mmmmits invigorating in there. Tina grabbed Danas fishing pole and cast with the air of an expert; both Alex and Bette looked at her with awe. She raised her eyebrows and looked at Alex, Youre not the only who knows a thing or two about the outdoors. Shortly after, the boat sped before them again, depositing Alice, Dana, and Shane into the water. Alice waved as she bobbed in the water, Thanks Todd! Have fun at work! She looked up at the three perched on the cliff and sadly explained, He had to go to work. As Dana and Shane dried, Alice was still making her way and trying to stuff her ***** back into her top. Tina suddenly yelped as something apparently very large bit on her line.

She let the line loose to reel in the monster on her hook, but it was too strong and her pole began to bow dramatically. With Alice, Dana, Alex, Shane, and even Bette cheering on, she strained and gave the handle one strong tug, yanking a beautiful 20-inch silver fish with black and blue spots out of the water. Alice captured the moment with her camera, and Tina even kissed it before unhooking its mouth and tossing it back into the water. Man it would have been nice to throw that sucker on a grill for dinner, Dana rued as she watched the fish swim away eagerly. Actually, those taste like *****, Alex and Tina replied in unison, chuckling afterward. Dana reclaimed her pole from Tina, Alex handed her pole to Shane out of frustration, but Bette stood steadfastly at her post, changing the worm a few more times. Tina, Alice, and Alex got some food spread out on the blanket they had brought and chatted quietly with the avid fishers, once they took a break. The fishing lines were quite for a while after they returned to them, until Bette let out an oh *****! Baby, did you get a bite, Tina asked excitedly. Bette just nodded her head as she dug her heels into the dirt and pulled on the handle with all her might. *****, I think I need help she shouted breathlessly, bending her knees slightly and tightening her grip. Alex, Tina and Shane grabbed a hold of either Bettes hands or the pole and pulled, but they still couldnt get whatever was on Bettes line to budge. Finally, both Alice and Dana grabbed Bette around the waist and pulled with all their might.

Tina: (straining) Oh, my god, babythisthing is huge!

Alice: (straining) Isthere such a thing asan overweight fish!

Alex: (straining) Not ifyoure eatingit!

Dana: (straining) Maybeits a deadbody.

Shane: (straining) Alrightguysone big pull on threereadyone, two, three!

And with that, all the women pulled hard, falling back onto the ground in a pile as their collective effort finally uprooted the sea monster.

Shane: (looking at the end of the line) Thats a weird looking fish

Tina: It kinda looks like

Alex: ALGEA!

Bette sat up straight and tears almost formed in her eyes when she saw the dangling mass of dark green schmutz. Tina pursed her lips tightly together, trying with all her might not to laugh, while everyone else placed comforting pats on Bettes shoulders. Alex took the pole from Bettes hand and proceeded to remove the abominable catch, but Alice stopped her, What are you doingthats Bettes catch (turning to Bette) she needs to take a picture with it! Shane and Dana stuffed some grapes into their mouths to keep from laughing as Bette composed herself and flashed a thousand-watt smile for the camera, proudly holding her huge clump of green stickiness. Putting down her camera, Alice placed a heavy arm around Bettes shoulders, Well, Bette at least you beat Todd. Bettes brow knitted with confusion, What are you talking about? Alice continued with a sagely tone, Well, as much as he would want to, youre the one having ***** with Tina(looking straight into Bettes eyes) ALL NIGHTyou two are the only ones having any ***** this weekend, so trust me Bette, youve got us ALL beat!

Alex: I think Im gonna go for that swim now!

Shane: Im right behind ya!

Dana: Wait for me!

Alice continued undeterred by Bettes astonished face, Oh, yeah, thats rightand do you know where we had to sleep, so we wouldnt disturb you twoon a ***** log! Bette looked at Tina, her left eye almost twitching, You said they were skinny dipping! Tina forced a smile and shrugged her shoulders, throwing her hands up in the air in despair. We did, but we got caught half-way there by this really cute ranger who drove us all the way ba Alice was cut short by Bettes narrowed eyes glaring at her. I think Im gonna gojoin the othersin the cold, cold wateryeahokay, and with that she scampered away. Tina gingerly approached Bette, kneeling in front of her with a pained look. Bette slowly shook her head, How much embarrassment am I going to have to endure at your hands this weekend? Tina put her hands up defensively, Hey, catching the fish was out of my controlbesides I recall something about ***** all over the houseyou werent blushing then. Bette looked around to make sure the other women were sufficiently distracted; looking back at Tina, she smiled wickedly, Come here. Pulling on Tinas neck, she brought her in for a smoldering kiss and gently pushed her down against the blanket. But Tina suddenly lurched up, clipping Bettes chin with her shoulder, Oh sorry baby, but I just squashed a grape or something with my backare you okay? Bette rubbed her chin and chuckled, Its finewe should save this for later anyways. Tina nodded and gently sucked on Bettes chin to make it feel better. You should try again to catch something, Tina suggested as Bette helped pull her up to her feet. Bettes lower lip protruded slightly, pain washing over her face as she remembered her fishing failure. Or we could just go for a swim, the waters warmer now that the suns higher in the sky, Tina added quickly.

Bette: You wanna have a race: from just under the cliff to that big rock out there?

Tina: Your ***** is so mine!

Bette: Well, yeahbut Im still gonna beat you.

The two women bounded down the little slope and quickly swam past the gang who were wading lazily in the shallow water. Bette and Tina had their little race and Bette won, and Tina pulled her behind the rock and out of sight for her reward. She kissed Bettes lips, sucking the cool water off, then licked up to her earlobe and began sucking gently there. So do you want me ***** you, or are you going to be generous, she whispered hotly. Bette groaned, and lowered her head to kiss Tinas neck, Why cant we do both? Tina smiled and slipped her hands under Bettes top and began squeezing her nipples roughly. Bettes breathing became ragged as she lowered her hand into the water, massaging Tina through her bikini bottom.

Mommy, its the ladies from the tree!

The plump 5-yr olds voice broke through the quiet afternoon like a cannon blast, and Bette and Tina looked quite shell shocked as they looked around and saw the set of triplets perched on another little cliff several yards away pointing at them. They ducked into the water and quickly swam back to the shore underwater. They walked up the little hill breathless from their frenzied swim. Alex, Shane and Dana were standing on the edge, fishing poles poised and doing a good job of masking their amusement, but Alice was waiting for them with arms crossed and a smirk on her face, What is this about a tree?