It was early in the morning. Alice was trying to catch up on her assignment as she was way behind. She was the only one in the office and the sound of her cell ringing shattered her.

Hello Alice answered without looking at the id caller, just focusing on her laptop screen.

Al? Bettes voice was soft, tentative, with enough emotion in just that word that made Alice to look up and concentrate on her cell.

Bette? Hi, how are you doing?(checking the time) are you ok Bette?

Yes Al, am good, was just calling wondering if youd have lunch, or even dinner with me?
Bettes question surprised Alice but she could see behind that an honest and caring friend, so as much as she thought she was not ready to see Bette, Alice accepted.

Bette was already at the restaurant when Alice finally made it. It didnt go easy for her to find the time and finish her work to make it to dinner, even for a late dinner as this one was.

Alice took her time walking towards her friend. It surprised her how thin Bette was but what worried her the most was the look in her eyes. Bette was still unaware of Alices presence and was just looking through the window, letting all her true feeling, fears and worries show on her face. As she thought she was alone her walls were down, and she was showing her true self. Reaching the table Alice was thinking how much she has missed her friend.

Hey Porter Alice, to her surprise, as something she didnt intent to, just happened, leaned into Bette giving her a light kiss on the cheek.

Bette, being the nervous rack she was, felt tears camping in her eyes from Alices affectionate small gesture.

Hey Al Bettes words died in the gulp, in the joy she was feeling seeing her friend. Alice sitting down waved at the waiter asking her for a drink, noticing that Bette was just having water.

Both friends looked at each other in silence, testing the waters, scared, trying to fight the awkwardness of the moment.

Im sorry Al Bette first words surprised Alice, as she was not expecting the honest cold truth to show up so soon in the meeting.

What exactly are you sorry for Bette? Alices words didnt mean to hurt her friend but she wanted things to be clear and neat from the beginning.

You are not going to make it easy for me, eh?” Bette said, smiling, not showing the anger Alice could expected in her answer.

Am sorry Bette am really happy to see you.” Alice softer tone supported her hand reaching for Bettes.

Im happy to see you too Al, believe me Bette could feel, again tears crowding her eyes.

She needed to talk with Alice and looking around realized that maybe a public place was not the best one to do it. She could tell her emotions were going to play with her and didnt want to make a scene in public.

Al, I dont think Id do this here, would you mind if we buy some take-out food and go home?”

Alice was looking at Bette, trying to read the always very private woman but when she heard her proposition was like if someone pushed her away.

Bette am sorry but I dont think am ready to socialize with your ***** buddy. Alices words were harsh and mean and she regreted saying them but she wanted to be honest.

Alices words were sinking in Bettes conscience, making tears even harder to stop. Nodding, not looking at Alice she whispered,

Am not seeing her anymore Al

Bettes words softened Alice heart, making fresh air coming into her tight lungs. For a second Alice thought she was going to see the rainbow on the window, the sky opening and listening to birds singing, welcoming the a new era.

Lets go Porter Alice was already up, getting her purse, leaving some money on the table.
Bette, followed, quiet, trying to compose herself. On the parking lot Alice looking for Bettes car and was finding difficult seeing it.

Where is your car? Alice wondered out loud.
At home, Shane drove me here Alice astonished look on her face made Bette added, she didnt want me to drive, lately I havent been focusing on anything

Alice drove all the way to Bette and Tinas house in silence, giving Bette all the time and space shed need. As they were entering the driveway Bette sighed deeply, unable to hold the tears that wanted to run down.
Alice stopped the car and turning to look at her friend, she moved slightly, welcoming Bette into her arms. But Bette didnt notice, she was just getting the tears fill her broken soul, giving her the strength she needed to start talking with Alice.

Al, am really sorry. I am I know is not with you with whom I should be talking (looking up to Alice) but I cant talk with Tina yet, I need to get myself together firstI Ijust need to know how is she doing Is she ok?”

The last words were very difficult to pronounce for Bette, sobs were cutting the little strength she had, just thinking, asking out loud about Tina was making Bette dizzy, shame was all over her, drawing her soul.

She is ok Bette, she is better Alice could see the depth of regret in Bettes eyes, in the way she was trembling, in how much she was exposing her true feelings, something so new to her, so scary to her.

Listening to Alices words Bette was composing herself. Alice looking at her friend was dying to tell her about the baby, but for once her mouth was sealed, it was something Tina should do, it was something that Alice was not sure was going to be an easy subject between them.

Bette opened the car door and walking towards the house looked at Alice, who was already behind her, smiling.


Alice arrived home way past midnight. Looking at a peacefully sleeping Tina at her side she could not stop her hand from sweetly caressing Tinas bare arm.
Bettes words were messing all Alice thoughts. Just thinking about all that has been said was making Alice shiver. She wanted so badly for her friends to get back together that it hurt.

But looking at Tina, noticing how relax she looked she doubt it, she knew Tina was hiding in a special shelter she made up for herself in her head.
Tina, the moment she decided to get pregnant, moved on. Thinking about the conversation when Tina explained to Alice why she decided to get pregnant was breaking Alices heart. She cried with Tina when they talked and looking at her now, in her sleeping, just remembering the conversation, she cried again.


Tina was walking on the beach, thats were Alice found her. The sun was setting. The breeze was caressing her cheeks, erasing the tears Tina didnt know were running down. Alice found her, as she has done many times before, since she found out that was one of Tinas favourites places. It was the fourth day after Tina told her about the pregnancy.
They were supposed to have met at Moss for dinner but when Tina didnt show up Alice knew were to find her. She walked at her side for a few meters before Tina noticed her. She didnt say anything, just looked up to her, smiling sadly.

Hey Tee” Alice didnt need to say anything else, just caressing Tinas bare shoulder, nodding, encouraging her to talk if she wanted to. And she did. Looking at the sunset that was softly showing them all her beauty Tina said,

Ive always wanted to have kids. Before meeting Bette that was the one thing I was sure about. I knew that someday I was going to have them. Then I met Bette and fall in love with her. You know how she is the idea had to grow on her and I gave her space and time because I knew shed be a great mom and when she finally made up her mind it was horrible Al. So much pressure, so stressful. And then when I found out I was pregnant, you were there. It was great but again, it was not perfect. She didnt see the good things right away. As always, she had to see the negative before enjoying the news.

Tina has seated down, her back was leaning on one of the big rocks, she was looking at the water. Alice at her side was playing with the sand in her hands, nodding encouraging her, giving her time to get her breath.

I dont think she really wanted the baby Al, I think, in a way it was a relief for her when we lost it. Id tell she was feeling all the pressure, and I blame myself for being needy sometimes, but I thought that if Id be needy it was with her. It was too complicate and then everything broke apart

Tina was quietly crying, remembering those painful days.

She choose her Al, something Id never imagine happened. Id have, I think Id, forgive her infidelity but she just choose her. Not a word, not a lie, not an excuse. It didnt just break my heart Alice. I dont think I have a heart anymore, mine was hers. I gave it to her. And then I found out I had nothing; I not only lost my love, my best friend, my life. I lost my heart. I needed my heart back, I need to be able to love somebody, unconditional love. And then I thought, whats the purest love? A perents love. I know I will love the baby for ever. No regrets, no pressures. Just pure love. And he wont break my heart because I dont expect anything from him. I already gave this baby all my love and my heart because he brought me back the possibility of loving.

Alice cried listening to Tinas words. She cried for her broken heart, for her lost soul and she cried because she could see the big mistake that the whole thing was.

She knew Bette, and she knew Tina, there were made for each other. Alice cried for whatever mystery reason that brought her friends apart. As much as she wanted to hate (and she hated) and blame the carpenter girl , she knew that she was just an excuse, the damage was done before that and Bette didnt see it coming.

Alice was thinking all that, looking at Tina, and looking at the big vanilla envelope that Bette gave to her. She begged her to give it to Tina. Alice had no idea what it was, it was big, heavy and Bette looked very anxious about it.

Alice, looking at the envelope resting on the chair, was trying to remember the last time Tina named Bette. If it wasnt the day before it was the day before that one. As much as Tina believed she was over Bette, as much as the pregnancy put the smile all of them prayed for back on her face, as much as life was treating her friend well, Alice knew that Tina was not even close to be over Bette. Holding on that knowledge, on that hope Alice finally lied besides Tina, falling asleep the moment her head touch the pillow.