TINA & BETTE

Bette stirred in her sleep, thinking she was having another one of those wonderful dreams, where Tina was lying in her arms, sleeping next to her. As she slowly woke up, she felt an incredible amount of heat all up and down the left side of her body. Even in semi- consciousness she felt tears forming in her eyes, thinking that she must still be with Candace and this was another dream, just like all the others, where she thought she was sleeping next to Tina, only to wake up and find Candace beside her.

Tina felt Bette stir. “Baby?”

Bette laid there with her eyes closed, now fully awake and holding her breath. ‘Oh my God, that wasn’t Candace’s voice!’ The events of the last several days came rushing into Bette’s head, and a smile she had no control over lifted the corners of her mouth. ‘Thank you God…thank you, thank you, thank you!’

Bette opened her eyes to see Tina looking up at her. “Oh T…” Bette’s smile relayed all the love in her heart. “Good morning baby.”

Tina smiled back at Bette, and although her smile wasn’t as confident as Bette’s, it conveyed the love that she felt. “Good morning.”

Though they had been lying in the same position for hours, neither one of them wanted to move. They both felt every inch of the others body up against their own, from head to toe. Tina knew, however that she had to get up soon. Her body was aching with desire, wanting to become one with every part of Bette’s beautiful body. She felt like her brain and her body were constantly fighting each other, and her heart was stuck in the middle, trying to understand and find a compromise for both.

She started to move, but Bette tighten her arm just slightly. Bette reached over with her other hand and gently brushed a lock of Tina’s hair that had fallen into her face, and tucked it behind her ear.

Bette was having her own struggles. Being so close to Tina was causing her to have trouble controlling her breathing. She thought her heart must have multiplied during the night, because she could feel it pounding in every part of her body. Good God, she could even feel her big toe thumping in time to the beat! Out of pure need, she leaned down to kiss Tina. Thankfully Tina’s brain had looked away for just a moment, giving her body the opening it desired. She raised her face to Bette’s and allowed those beautiful lips to meld into her mouth…

BANG!!! Both their hearts slammed back into their bodies with a force that caused after shocks to echo in their ears. Without any conscious effort by either one, their kiss took on a life of its own. It was a kiss full of passion…lust…love…fear…guilt…and, finally of hope. It was a kiss full of every emotion they had both felt during the last six months…and in the end, they had to break away from each other, because they were both crying too hard to maintain contact.

Bette held onto Tina as tight as she could without hurting her. Tina was hanging on just as tight, both women sobbing…Bette mourning the loss of what she had willfully given away six months earlier. Fearing it was lost to her, even now when she could finally fathom what an incredible gift that Tina’s love was…that their love for each other was…she sobbed hoping and praying she would get another chance to treasure that gift again.
Tina sobbed because she was being given the chance to get back what she thought she had lost…but she didn’t think she could live with herself if she came back now…but then again, she didn’t know how she could live without Bette in her life. Every day of the last six months had been a struggle. All she had to do was say yes to Bette…Tina sobbed harder.

Gradually the tears started to slow, but not before both women were able to release and let go of so many painful and unwanted emotions.

Tina moved to get off the couch. This time Bette lifted up her arm and moved to sit up, allowing Tina to get up as well. After opening themselves up to each other in such a vulnerable way, they both felt an incredibly strong connection to the other, yet were both miles away, caught up in their own thoughts as well.

Tina was sitting on the end of the couch with her elbows resting on her thighs, her head hanging down. Bette had stood up and was trying to shake some feeling back into her left arm. It was still early, around 5:00 am.

Tina slowly shook her head, thinking she wasn’t ready yet. She just wasn’t ready for this night with Bette to end. As much as she knew she should talk with Bette, she couldn’t open her mouth to get the words out…too bad brain…you lose another round! She looked up at Bette and smiled. ‘God, she is beautiful. How could someone who just slept in her clothes, including a shirt that was once again completely wet down one side…who had just cried her eyes out, running some of her mascara…standing in the middle of the livingroom shaking her arm like she was trying to un-stick something from it, look so…magnificent?! That’s right, magnificent. Good God Tina, you are a sad puppy. You really do need to get some perspective when it comes Bette’s physical beauty!’ Tina sighed, wondering how much more of this rollercoaster ride of emotions she could take. Up and down, up and down…back and forth…back and forth…*****!

“Bette? I’m a little hungry. Do you have anything to eat?”

Bette stared into space for a moment, trying to think about what was in the kitchen. “Uh…uh…well, you know I don’t cook, so I haven’t been grocery shopping lately. I’m afraid all I have is a basket of mangos.”

Tina started to laugh. “Some things never change, do they?”

Bette shrugged her shoulders grinning. “You know how I feel about mangos. I’m a sl…”

“I know, I know…your a ***** for mangos!” Tina laughed again, thinking back to a time several years earlier when, because of Bette’s love of everything mango, they ended up having to not only change the sheets on the bed, but cleaning up both night stands, and renting one of those do it yourself carpet cleaners for the area rugs in the bedroom. Eating mangos had not been the same since.

Tina sighed at the memory. “OK, mangos it is…but Bette?”

“Yea?”

Tina looked at Bette and softy, shyly said, “Just to eat…OK?”

Bette reached out and gently took Tina’s hand and brought it up to her cheek. “I know baby. It’s OK…just to eat.”

After cutting up several of the most delicious and ***** tasting fruits in all the world, Tina took Bette by the hand and led her out to the back yard. They sat on the chaise lounge together, Tina sitting down first, so Bette could lean up against her chest…

And as they watched the sun come up, they sat in silence, feeding each other slices of mango, feeding each other slices of hope.