“I forgot my bag.” Bette winced as she said it, looking hopelessly at Tina who was looking at her in shock.

“What are you doing here?” Tina whispered. Bette just kept turning up everywhere she went.

“Having lunch with Jenny.” Bette said softly. “I didn’t know you were here…”

Tina shook her head, putting a hand up. “I wasn’t going to accuse you of stalking me, it’s okay.”

Bette’s brow furrowed as she took in Tina’s face, the red eyes and distress, the few stray droplets of water continuing to trickle over her chin and drip onto her shirt, just like her tears had done only a few nights earlier. Bette grabbed some paper towels and feebly held them out to Tina, who took them and patted her face dry. “How are you?”

Tina scrunched up the paper towels, and threw them toward the bin. “I’m fine.” She looked at herself in the mirror and tried not to wince at her own reflection. She didn’t look fine.

Bette took a breath, before sadly looking away from Tina. “I’ll just get my bag then.” She said quietly, walking around Tina and grabbing the bag. She didn’t walk away though, just gazed at Tina’s reflection.

“How are you?” Tina asked, but didn’t look at Bette.

“Oh you know.” Bette smiled self deprecatingly, as Tina looked at her through the mirror.

“No, actually I don’t know.”

Bette looked away again. She didn’t want to fight. Not now, and especially not in a public restroom. “Enjoy your lunch, whoever you’re with.” Bette’s chin trembled just slightly as she walked back toward the door.

Tina turned to look at her properly. “Tell the carpenter hello from me.”

Bette stopped, closing her eyes for a second, and then shook her head. “She’s working with you now, tell her yourself.” And left.
______________________________

“How you doing Jenny?” Shane gave her a slight smile, nervously glancing at the bathroom door as it closed behind Bette.

Jenny shrugged. “I’m okay. How are you both?” Jenny sat in the chair left unoccupied by Tina.

“Don’t ask.” Dana smiled at Jenny, who smiled back and and tapped the table in front of her.

“How’s Tonya?”

Dana’s smile fell off her face. “Don’t ask.” She repeated.

Jenny’s eyebrows raised. “Man, no one’s happy.”

“How are things with you Jenny?” Shane watched the door. She couldn’t hear screaming, that could be a good thing.

“They’re… a little confusing but going okay. I’m seeing Robin later after my shift is done tonight. I just had lunch with Bette actually, and you know her and I are bonding and that’s a good thing… Shane are you okay?”

Shane looked at Jenny. “Yeah… yeah it’s fine.”

Dana looked over at the bathroom door. “What do you think is happening in there?”

Shane shrugged, and Jenny look confused. “You mean in the bathroom?”

“Tina’s in there…” Dana said at the same time Shane uttered “*****.”

Bette was stalking toward them, having met Shane’s gaze when she’d left the bathroom. She approached the table.

“Shane, Dana. Are you ready to go Jenny?” Bette kept her face masked of any emotion.

Jenny stood, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah, yeah I’ll just pay and we can go…”

“You okay Bette?” Shane asked in a low voice. Bette looked at her blankly.

“I’m fine. I’ll see you both later.”

Dana nodded at her. “Uh, bye.”

Bette strode out of the restaurant never looking back.

“I guess I’ll see you guys later too.” Jenny half smiled at them before walking over to the cashier.

Shane bit her lip, as Tina walked toward them.

“So I’m ready to blow this place. Want to taxi it to Alice’s?” Tina grabbed her handbag from her chair and looked expectantly at Dana and Shane.

Shane gazed her, and then nodded slowly. “Sure Tee.”
______________________________

Tina knocked hesitantly on Alice’s door. She waited, listening for Alice’s foot steps and for the door to open. She sighed. She bit her lip. She knocked again. The door opened slightly. Tina raised her eyebrows and waited for it to open further. When it didn’t however, she gently nudged it open and looked into Alice’s apartment.

“Al?” She called out, frowning. “Al?”

“I’m in here…”

Tina walked into Alice’s apartment, shut the door and peeked her head into Alice’s bedroom. “Hey, I just came to get some stuff and then I’ll be out of your hair okay?” She said softly, walking fully into the bedroom and gazing at Alice’s prone form on the bed.

Alice sighed. “You don’t have to leave Tee…” Her hands were gently playing with the sheets, her eyes watching them and not even bothering to look at Tina.

Tina walked over and sat on the bed beside Alice. “No, you were right. I need to stop hiding.”

Alice looked up at her then. “You… you’re going back to her?” Alice frowned and sat up. “Do you really think that’s a…”

Tina cut her off. “No, I’m not going back. I’m, going to look for a place of my own and get back to work and just… stop moping around and running away from the real world.” Tina sighed as Alice shifted toward her.

“*****, Tina I’m sorry for what I said before. You don’t have to leave, I mean I love having you here, I do… it’s like a permanent slumber party…” Alice attempted a smile. “Except I’m fucked up and you keep crying.” Alice rubbed Tina’s back gently as Tina chuckled.

“I love being here. But I need to get my life back on track, you know. I feel so lost and I just, think I need some independence.” Tina cocked her head to the side. “How are you doing?” She inquired gently.

Alice poked Tina in the back. “Don’t change the subject. We were talking about you. You know, you don’t have to leave right now.”

Tina smiled. “I know, I figured you’d still be all pissed off and thought it best to play it safe.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Since when am I ever pissed off for more than like five minutes anyway.” Alice paused for a second. “Okay if you’re a real ***** and ***** me over you’ll have an eternity of my bad ***** mood to deal with. But that doesn’t apply to my friends.” Alice gave a small smile and lay back on the bed as Tina smiled back. “So I take it Da.. Shane didn’t come back with you?”

Tina rolled her eyes and stood. “Shane said her weekend had been too emotionally charged and she didn’t want to further that by coming upstairs and having to deal with miss grumpy pants.”

Alice glared at Tina. “She so did not say or call me that.”

Tina winked at her and walked to the bedroom door. “You want anything from the kitchen?” Alice shook her head in the negative. “Oh and Al, Dana went home and asked me to tell you that she’s going to call you as soon as she gets there and you’d better pick up or she’s going to shove her tennis racket up your… well you know.” Tina winked again, and left the bedroom.

Alice groaned and pulled a pillow over her face.
______________________________

Dana threw her keys on the table, and stomped into her kitchen. She wrenched the fridge door open and extracted an orange juice carton from inside. She figured to ***** with glasses, it wasn’t like anyone else was going to drink from it, and so drank straight out of the carton. She smacked her lips together. That’s what orange juice tasted like, not whatever the ***** she’d drank at that restaurant.

Ugh, the restaurant.

She shook her head and walked to her answering machine. A ’5′ was blinking at her and she thanked God there wasn’t any more messages than before. She sighed and glared at the blinking number, before pushing the button.

“You have five new messages: Message one received at ten oh seven pm: Dana! I want you to know this is isn’t over! You’re going to…”

Dana quickly hit the button again.

“Message two received at ten oh nine pm: … Just you wait till I tell every one…”

Dana hit the button again.

“Message three received at ten oh eleven pm: … and I’m getting the best damn lawyer…”

Dana growled deep in her throat, and hit the button again.

“Message four received at one seventeen am: …it’s alive! *shrieking* *banging noise* Oh ***** what was that? *more screaming* Alice they’re alive! *a second voice joined the first, screaming* ***** Alice, the pickles are alive! *squelching noises* Get it off me! Get it off me! *muffled bangs, and grunting noises* Shane, what did we smoke? Shane, what did we smoke to make the pickles come alive? *more screaming* Shane get off me! *slapping noises* I’m trying to save you Al, for *****’s sake! *whimpering* Shane, what the ***** was in that joint? *groaning* I don’t know, it was… not what I usually get… I don’t know… Oh my God they’re moving, they’re seriously ***** moving! *more banging and grunting* Help me move the couch Tina, we have to get behind it! You need to get off it! *more squelching noises* I’m covered in them! THEY’RE EATING MY SKIN…

Dana blinked, her anger dissipating as she stared at her answering machine. She had to keep that message, forever.

“Message five received at seven oh three am: Hey Dana, this is Lara. Uh, I’m sorry to ring so early, I seem to remember you were a morning person and I have to start work early and I just thought ‘hey, why not call Dana now, she’ll be awake’ but it seems you aren’t. Or you’re not home. Okay I’m getting to the point, I promise. I just wanted to see how you were, are you okay? I can’t believe I still remember your number after all this time… but you know, some things your body just remembers even when your mind doesn’t… uh, anyway I’m working all day today even though it’s a sunday, there’s some function on at the club, anyway call me later if you want, maybe we could grab dinner and talk some more? If you want to. Anyway this is going to run out any second so hope to talk to you later. Bye Dana.”

“End of messages.”

Dana bit her lip. She picked up the phone and stared at it. She frowned slightly as she dialed, her fingers gliding over the pad and typing in a number she didn’t know she remembered. She brought the phone to her ear, and held her breath.

“Hey you’ve reached Lara. I’m probably cooking up a storm, or burning down a kitchen somewhere at the moment so leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Dana froze as she heard a beep.

“Uh, hi Lara. It’s Dana. Well, duh it’s me but uh I just got your message and dinner would be… good. Um, I’m going to be here the rest of the afternoon, at my house I mean, which is where I am, so when you get back from work give me a call and we can organize… something. If that’s okay? Uh, okay, I hope work isn’t too… sucky for you and… okay, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Dana quickly hung up and took a deep breath. That wasn’t too hard. Okay, second phone call. She quickly dialed the familiar number, and walked back into her kitchen with the phone resting between her head and shoulder.

“Kay, I either don’t want to talk to you right now or I’m out picking up some hot young thang so leave a message after the beep and maybe I’ll call ya back. If you’re lucky. Beep.”

Dana rolled her eyes. “Al, I know it’s you.”

“I said, ‘Beep.’ Dana.”

Dana sighed. “Hey Al, it’s Dana.”

“You know, I’d recognize you’re voice anywhere, why do you always announce yourself?”

Dana frowned, grabbing the juice carton and putting it back in the fridge. “It’s… what your meant to do.”

“Whatever. Continue.”

Dana leaned against the kitchen bench. “Okay… I’m just calling to see how you are, and tell you, youse got a lot esplainin’ to do.”

“Oh you just suck at that. You sound like a hillbilly, not Ricky Ricardo. And since when am I Lucy?”

“Since when do answering machines have conversations with the caller?” Dana grabbed the phone from between her shoulder and head and switched ears, holding it in her hand.

“Since now.”

“So you run away from me, and now suddenly want to talk to me? Are you PMS-ing?”

She heard Alice sigh and say meekly, “I didn’t know it was going to be you who was calling.”

Dana rolled her eyes and left her kitchen, walking down the stairs to her front room and flopping on the couch. “Uh huh Al, you have caller I.D.” Dana waited for a reply. She pursed her lips, lay down and focused her gaze on her own feet which were propped up in front of her. “Alice. Are you okay?” She asked softly.

She heard Alice chuckle, though there didn’t seem to be much humor in it. “You know, for the first time in a long time I don’t think I am.”

“Talk to me…” Dana said sadly. She felt awful, for some reason the idea of Alice not being okay was just… the saddest thing she could think of. Alice was always so together, and so funny, and it was always the worst thing when a funny person was sad. “I want to help…”

She heard Alice sigh loudly. “God…” She said faintly. “Okay, I can’t do this over the phone.”

Dana frowned. “Do what? Alice talk to me…” Dana listened, waiting for Alice to speak again. And waited.

And waited.

“Al? Are you still there?”

“Yeah Dane, look what are you doing later? Later tonight?”

Dana’s eyes widened slightly. Oops. “Uh, I might be having dinner with Lara… but that’s not definite and…”

“You are? Okay.” Alice’s voice had gone eerily flat. “Well have fun with that. I might talk to you later then.”

Dana sat up suddenly. “Alice no wait don’t hang up! Talk to me for God’s sake!”

Alice’s voice was very small. “No Dana, just look, have fun with the dinner. Really. We can do something later this week and just, just have fun okay?”

Dana felt desperate, though she couldn’t pinpoint why. “I love you Al, you know that right? I’m here, I’m always here for you, okay?”

“I know. I’ll always be here for you too… I, love you too.”

Dana heard a gentle click, and brought the phone away from her ear, looking at it thoughtfully.
______________________________

Tina was shaking her head. “What happened? That was going so well.”

Alice picked up the phone again, and then slammed it down. “Nothing happened, everything is fine.” She growled and stomped into the living room. “Okay THAT’S IT THIS CARPET IS GETTING CLEANED IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES OR I’M RIPPING IT UP WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS!” Alice stomped back into the kitchen and wrenched a cupboard door open.

Tina watched her rummaging around, extracting various cleaning liquid bottles and cloths.

Forty five minutes later, Alice sat back on her heals and blew out a breath. “Asta lavista pickle stain.” She mumbled as she stretched her back and looked over at Tina who was whistling while scrubbing at a spot on Alice’s living room floor. “She’s… she’s having dinner with the sous chef.”

Tina didn’t stop scrubbing. “I figured as much.”

Alice rolled her eyes as she crawled over to another small stain. “***** Lara look-at-my-perfect-grill-marks Perkins.” She picked up a pickle, the last pickle she hoped she’d ever see, and threw it towards the bin she’d dragged in from the kitchen earlier. “Lara look-at-my-shiny-perfect-hair-and-my-cute-little-uniform Perkins.” Alice scrubbed furiously at the carpet. “Lara I-KNOW-WHERE-DANA’S-G-SPOT-IS-PERKY-PERFECT-***** PERKINS.”

“Could just be dinner Al.” Tina leant back and shrugged. “You’re probably working yourself up over nothing.”

Alice huffed, blowing strands of hair out of her face. “Doubt it…” She muttered.

Tina gave her a cheeky grin. “Well maybe you should have told her how you really feel huh?”

Alice leant back again and opened her mouth to speak. She closed it as a thought occurred to her. She hurriedly crawled over to Tina, as fast as one could when one was only using their knees. She grabbed Tina’s shoulders and looked into her eyes hopefully. “You spoke to her.”

Tina looked blankly at Alice for a moment before her eyes went wide and she started to try and back away from Alice. “Oh no no, no you don’t. I’m not telling you a thing.”

Alice nodded her head giddily. “You had breakfast with her! She would’ve told you things, things that could really be useful to me right now… come on.” Alice put her hands together in the praying position.

Tina stood up, shaking her head. “She didn’t tell me anything Al.” She started walking toward the kitchen but Alice lunged at her and grabbed her leg. Tina fell to the ground with an “Oof!” as Alice quickly spun her onto her back, climbed on top of her, grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the floor above Tina’s head. Tina looked annoyed, but also impressed. “That was some move…”

Alice shrugged slightly. “Works every time. Now tell me everything you know!” Tina slammed her lips shut and shook her head. Alice frowned and keeping one hand around Tina’s wrists, moved the other to her ribs. “Tell me Tina…”

Tina’s eyes widened as she saw one of Alice’s hands move to her ribs. She struggled in vain against the restraint before shaking her head again. Alice gave her an evil smile before digging her fingers into Tina’s side. Tina squealed in laughter.

“Stop stop stop stop!”

Alice stopped. “Come on Tina, tell mistress Alice what she wants to know.”

Tina was still laughing a little, and gazed up at Alice with a highly amused look on her face. “Tell mistress Alice to go ***** herself.” Alice’s eyes went wide. Then she squinted at Tina. A thought occurred to her, an evil one, and she liked it. She looked around her, and as if fate had ordained it, a little pickle was lying innocently on the floor right near her hand. Tina tried to follow Alice’s gaze, but couldn’t see whatever Alice had focused on. “What are you…”

Alice picked up the pickle and wiggled it over Tina’s face as Tina’s eyes went as wide as they had ever gone. “Well well now Tina, looky what I found.”

Tina struggled again as she watched the pickle dangling above her face. “Al don’t you dare.”

Alice raised her eyebrows innocently. “Don’t what Tee?”

Tina looked into Alice’s eyes. “You’re crazy.”

Alice grinned, a maniacal glint in her eye. “I’m not crazy, I’m in love.”

The pickle dangled closer to Tina’s face and she scrunched her face up, turning it away from the pickle, trying to get away from it. Alice touched the pickle very lightly to Tina’s now exposed ear. “Okay, okay Alice I’ll tell you everything you want to know JUST GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!” Alice nodded, satisfied and threw the pickle toward the bin. She pushed herself off Tina as Tina wiped furiously at her ear and sat up. “That was mean.”

Alice looked down at Tina. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Tina sighed and looked up at Alice. “Well you’re going to have to ask me questions, because I’m not just telling you random things.”

Alice folded her arms over her chest. “Fine. How… okay, why did… okay wait.” Alice frowned, not sure exactly what it was she wanted to know. “Okay I know, why is Lara suddenly back in the picture? And why is Tonya suddenly just gone? And why did she run out of my apartment the other night?”

Tina bit her lip and looked at the couch that was still overturned. “Help me up…”

A few minutes later they sat across from each other on the now righted couch.

“Okay, get comfortable. I’ll just tell you the whole damn story she told me. And you know, I’m only telling this to you for her sake, and for your own, God knows you’re both not going to figure this out for yourselves.” Tina took a deep breath. “Okay, so the other night, after Dana left here? Well she woke up in her car the next morning at the country club…”

That morning, Dana had told her everything that had happened to her in the last few days. Tina had sat quietly and listened to it all, Dana unloading all the things that had plagued her mind and been kept bottled inside. Tina had ached as Dana related her frustrations and confusion, and afterward Tina had given her the biggest hug the two had ever shared. Tina tried at that moment, on the couch with Alice, to relate those same frustrations and confusion as accurately as possible, leading up to the advice she had given Dana that morning.

“… and so I told her that it was really the best thing to go to you and talk to you. To tell you everything and see what you said to her. That you might surprise her.” Alice, for the first time in her life, had remained silent through out the whole re-telling. “And you know Dana, the obvious seems to elude her a lot of the time, she doesn’t know how she feels Al. She doesn’t know how you feel. I don’t think she’s ever just felt so much, you know?”

Alice nodded miserably. “And I lied to her, and then acted like a *****.”

Tina raised an eyebrow. “Al, have you ever been in love? Like this?”

Alice pursed her lips in thought. “I’ve been in love before, I think.” Alice looked into Tina’s eyes. “But not this much.”

Tina nodded. “Look, you’re not doing Dana any favors lying to her. And you’re certainly not doing yourself any favors either. If you’re not honest with her, it’s going to kill you, and maybe even your friendship.”

Alice groaned. “But if I tell her the truth it will ruin our friendship anyway!”

Tina just shook her head. “I don’t think so, Al. You can’t know that. Tell her, just tell her.” Alice took a moment, trying to digest everything she’d heard, everything she felt. She looked at Tina, and nodded resignedly.

“Okay.”