The sunlight coming through the window directly on Bettes face, instantly made her realize she was late for work again. Since she woke up everyday at 5:30am to leave for the gallery, she was always up when the sun finally peaked in her bedroom. *****, she groaned as she rolled over to look at her alarm clock. The blinking 12:00 let her know this wasnt all her fault, this time.

The power must have gone out last night, she said out loud rolling on to her back to stare at the ceiling.

Bette didnt feel the need to jump up, shower, and get dressed, all in 10 minutes flat, and damn near commit suicide driving 90 mph on the freeway just to get to work. Not this morning she thought. Instead she pulled the covers off to the side and threw her legs over the side of the bed. She reached for her watch on the side table and noticed that it was 9:21am.

Well, thats not too bad. Im only an hour and 21 minutes late. She reached for her cell phone so she could call James and noticed she had a voicemail message. She pressed the #1 key on her cell phone and heard the electronic womans voice saying, You have 2 new messages. First message received yesterday at 8:30pm — Hey Bette, its me Kit. I hadnt talked to you in a couple of days. Just wanted to check on you. Call me back when you get a chance baby sis.

The electronic voice came back, To save this message press 9 to erase press 7. Bette pressed 7.

Next message received today 9:01am–Bette, its me James. I thought Id try your cell phone too. I called you at home and you didnt answer. Franklin has been looking for you all morning. Where are you? Call in when you get a chance. Bye.

To save this message press 9 to erase press 7. Bette pressed 7.

She closed her phone and sat it back on the side table beside her watch. She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled. This was all she needed, another day on Franklins ***** list. Well Ill cross that bridge when I get to it, she thought. Right now her brain was screaming for a hot cup of coffee. She rose slowly and stretched. She heard her back and her shoulders pop. Damn I must be getting old because I feel like *****. She headed towards the kitchen and grabbed the red can of Maxwell house out of the cabinet. She poured a generous amount into the filter and sat it in the strainer and turned on the coffee maker. The red light on the machine came on and Bette knew her liquid gold would be ready in no time. She noticed that her answering machine had a blinking one on its face so she went over to check it. She hit the play button.

Bette this is James. Its 9:00am and I havent heard from you this morning. Franklin has been in here a couple of times already looking for you, but I told him you wouldnt be in until 10:00 this morning. He wondered why, so I told him you had worked late last night and you were going to use a little comp time and be in a couple of hours later. Please call me if you are going to be any later than 10:00. I really dont want to make up another lie. Bye.

Bette hit the delete button. She knew she shouldnt have turned the ringer off on her phone last night, but she needed a peaceful night to herself with no interruptions.

She had put in her favorite cd, Sades greatest hits, and poured herself a tall glass of wine. She spent hours on the couch just thinking about the events of the last six months. Her thoughts raced back to back reliving every little detail from trying to conceive a baby with Tina, trips to therapists and support groups, almost losing her job only to be saved by Peggy Peabody at the last minute, her fathers rejection of the idea of being a grandfather, her televised breakdown during her debate with Faye Buckley, losing the baby, her infidelity with Candace, and ultimately losing Tina. The list went on and on as it played back like a movie, but it was all too real. Before she knew it she was asleep only to be awoke by a thunderstorm moving through the area. The boom of the thunder jolted her senses and she sat up. The empty glass that she had in her hand fell to the floor. She noticed it was 3:02 am. She picked up the glass and half empty bottle of wine and headed to the kitchen. She just put them both on the counter and went to her bedroom and went back to sleep. She heard nothing else for the rest of the night. Not even her cell phone vibrating on the side table when James called that morning.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee started seeping into Bettes nose and she could feel herself starting to come alive. She pulled a mug from the cabinet and poured the piping hot liquid into her cup. After adding the exact amount of cream and sugar she sipped slowly. Ahh, now thats all I needed, she whispered. She picked up the cordless phone and made her way back to the bedroom. She looked at the clock on the wall and it was 9:33. She dialed the number to the gallery.

Bette Porters office, James speaking, may I help you, he said cordially.

Good morning James, this is Bette.

In a relieved tone, Thank God, where are you.

Im still at home, I just woke up. My power went out during last nights thunderstorm. Im going to try to be there in another hour. Just tell Franklin that Ill be in the office in a little while and if its extremely important, he can call me on my cell phone. Have I gotten any other messages.

Not yet, he said. But Bette, youve been late a lot recently. I dont know if hes going to let this fly by without confronting you about it. And he doesnt look too happy this morning. I just want to warn you.

Thanks James for the heads up, but Ill just have to deal with it when I get there. Just let him know that he can call me. I should be there soon. Talk to you in a little while. Bye.

Okay, James replied. Ill let him know. Bye.

Bette knew James was right. Lately her tardiness was no longer going unnoticed. This time wasnt my fault though she thought to herself. She looked at the alarm clock still flashing 12:00 and knew she needed to put some batteries in it as a backup.

After a few more sips of coffee she decided to go ahead and get dressed for work. She walked to the bathroom, dragging her feet slightly, still trying to wake up all the way. Man, I have got to pee the sensation hit her suddenly. She started moving a little faster so she could make it to the toilet in time. She was wiggling as she untied the drawstrings on her pajama bottoms. She sat down, Whew, that was close, feeling better because she didnt pee on herself and also because of the relief she was giving to her bladder. After wiping and flushing she went over to the sink and turned on the water. She mixed the cold with the hot while holding her hand under the stream. It was still a little cold to her liking so she added a little more hot to the mixture. She kept her hand under the water until it was perfect. She cupped both her hands under the stream and let the water make a mini puddle in her hands. She bent over the sink and splashed the water on her face rubbing it in gently hoping this would help her to get even more motivated. She stood completely up and was now facing her reflection in the mirror. At that moment time seemed to stop for her. Bette was looking at someone who she didnt know anymore. The reflection told the whole story. The dark circles that now encompassed her eyes told of her many nights of tossing and turning. The spark behind those brown eyes was gone. Several strands of gray hair were fighting to become the central focus of her mane that was in desperate need of a cut. The wrinkles in her forehead were more defined now. Bette spoke to the stranger, Who are you, she said in almost a whisper, afraid the reflection might talk back. She stood there staring and observing the imposter who was posing as Bette Porter. Tears started to well up in her sullen eyes. You are not me, she spoke angrily. How did I let you take over.

Bette knew ever since Tina left, she just hadnt felt the same. No, it was before Tina left. Something inside of her was missing. Something was going on that she just couldnt put her finger on. And right now she was staring directly into that emptiness. All of her regrets, pain, frustrations, and disappointments had built up so much on the inside that they had nowhere else to go but spill outwards. And now she was face to face with them all. The image that was standing before her was evidence of her internal and external struggles of late. And from the looks of it, she was losing, and losing bad.

Bette leaned in close to the mirror and stared for a few more seconds. She also wanted to make sure the reflection heard loud and clear what she was about to say. She started speaking slowly, I am Bette Porter. I am beautiful and intelligent. I am a wife, a sister, a best friend, an art lover, but most of all I am not you. I reclaim myself and my life. No more tear stained pillows from all night pity parties. No more putting others before myself. I am Bette Porter. I am a flawed human being and I have made mistakes, but I dont deserve to do this to myself. Today is a new day. I am Bette Porter, she said with an air of finality.

Bette splashed water on her face again and smiled. Even though the reflection looked the same, she knew her insides had turned a corner. She was on her way back. She pulled at her hair and decided today there was going to be a change both inside and outside. She went back to her bed and picked up the cordless. She dialed the gallery.

Bette Porters office, James speaking, may I help you, he said.

James, inform Franklin that I wont be in today at all. Ive had something very important come up that I have to take care of today. I will not have my cell phone on so just leave me a voicemail if anything life or death comes up. Ill check it a couple of times today. And James dont worry, Im alright. I just have to do some things for me.

Even though James knew Franklin was going to be pissed, he heard something in Bettes voice he hadnt heard in a long time. That spark that had been missing sounded like it was coming back. For him it was refreshing. He didnt know what happened between now and when she called 25 minutes ago, but he didnt want to question.
Okay Bette. Will you be in tomorrow? he asked.

I think so, or I might work from home. If I do, Ill call Franklin myself. Thanks for covering for me James.

No problem. Talk to you tomorrow, he said.

Bye, Bette replied.

Bette hung up the phone and started dialing the number to her favorite spa. She needed a little pampering today.