Danas version

Dana: Wellshe threw me down on the bed

Alice: She threw you down on the bed?

Dana: Yeahand then she yanked my pants off!

Shane: She looked like a wild one

Dana: Then she crawled on top of me

Bette (as an aside to Tina): I always knew she was a bottom.

Dana: And licked my face, like really licked it

Alice: Like Mr. Piddles would?

Dana: No, slightly weirdermore like a dog

Shane: Licking can be coolif its done correctly

Tina: Isnt licking practically the basis of our lesbianhood?

Bette: Good point!

Alice: Okay what did Toto the happy licker do next?

Dana: Then she moved down really fast

Bette: Down where?

Tina: Down to the happy mountain!

Alice: Was she any good?

Danas eyes glazed over slightly as she became lost in reminiscing.

Alice: Hello? What do you have ADD?

Shane: Give her a minute…havent you ever heard of reliving the moment?

Dana: She was so goodshe was badshe definitely put her tongue to good use last night.

Alice: Nothing like getting your moneys worth!

Shane: And how did you repay the favor Miss Dana?

Dana: Well

Bette: Cmon, Danaits too late for propriety now

Dana sat back into her chair with a proud grin, I fucked her brains out!

***

What actually happened

Dana felt like she was in one of those bumper cars, only the cars were people. As she and her blonde staggered up the stairs and down the hall, they stepped on people going at it on the floor and crashed into people going at it against the walls. They finally reached her bedroom door, which was ajar. Dana turned around in the blondes embrace and pushed it open to find a couple finishing up. The taller, brawnier brunette grabbed her partner by the waist and pulled her toward the door as she gestured for Dana and herumfriendto go at it themselves, Its all yours tigercongratulations on the match by the way! Dana gave her a half-smile as the door closed behind the couple. The blonde (well call her Mel from now on) turned Dana around and looked at her hungrily, God! I wanna rip your clothes off with my teeth! Dana chuckled uncomfortably and took a step backward, but her feet got tangled in some clothes and she fell none-too-gracefully to the floor, hitting the back of her head on the nightstand.

Im fine! Im fine! she reassured, rubbing her head with a grimace of pain at the same time. Mel looked at her concerned, Are you sureI mean it sounded like you really whacked yourself there? Dana shook her head, which she quickly decided was not the best idea. After the room stopped spinning, she got to her feet and gave Mel a little smile, Where were weoh, yeah, something about ripping my clothes off with your teeth! Mel chuckled low as Dana jumped onto the bed and started taking her t-shirt off, Youre quite the eager beaver, arent you? Dana laughed with a little snort at the end, Beaver! Thatthats funny! Mel gave her a quizzical look as if to say what the ***** is wrong with you. Dana sat down and forced her face into a concerned expression, The truth isIm really drunk, probably high on something too, I won a huge match today, and I havent gotten laid in a long time, Dana confessed bluntly. Mels face softened with sympathy for an instant, and then her eyes darkened with a sinister playfulness. She crawled onto the bed and began unbuttoning Danas jeans, Well, thenwere gonna have to do something about that.

She tugged roughly at the jeans and pulled them down to Danas ankles. She brought her face up to Danas and looked at her for a few moments before she stuck her tongue out and traced little circles on Danas cheeks with the tip. Danas initial smile morphed into a smirk of disgust as Mel began lapping at the entire left side of her face. She pulled away slightly, giving Mel an uncomfortable smile, but instead of inquiring, Mel started barking and howling at the top of her lungs. Dana became so confused she jumped off the bed and watched in horror. Mel got on all fours on the bed and stared at Dana panting, Get over here, I wanna eat your ***** like its my favorite doggy treat. Dana shook her head slightly as she clamped her legs together and covered herself with her hands, Im not really a dog person. Mel sighed and looked away for a moment, then looked back at Dana with a serious, almost business-like expression, You wanna get laid or what? Dana thought for a second or two, then jerked her head suddenly, thinking what the *****! She laid down on the bed and Mel quickly positioned her head in between Danas legs:

oh, wow your just gonna go right there andwhoaoooh, are you using your teethoh, god, oh god!

Danas legs sprung up into the air as Mel sucked on her at a furious pace. She felt her entire body begin to convulse, and within seconds she was squealing/moaning/crying out with pleasure. It was quite a while before she was breathing normally; her ***** had been so fast and intense, she was literally seeing stars. She opened her eyes and saw Mel dusting herself off as if she was getting ready to leave. Whewhere are you going? Dana asked breathlessly. Mel gave her a little smile and patted one of her knees, I have to work early tomorrowI work training dogs for Hollywood stars, and were getting a shipment of Doberman puppies at seven in the morning. Dana opened her mouth, but found herself at a loss for words. Mel tossed a business card onto the bed as she neared the door, Call me sometime, you knowto return the favor, she said with a wink before disappearing down the hall.

***

Well, I WILL ***** her brains out, hopefullyif I can find that damn card!

Danas thoughts were interrupted by Bette yawning loudly, Alright, I think we better head home and get some rest before the weekends over. Tina nodded her agreement, but Alice put her hands up in protest, Hold it! What about you guysyou have to dish the dirt too! Tina suddenly became enthralled by the view out the living room window as much more sober Bette squared her shoulders in Alices direction, We were both drunk…and highwe had sexend of story!

Alice: Seethats just not right, here we are spilling our guts!

Shane: That is kinda whack, Bette.

Alice: Yeah, you smoked with us Bettehigh and mighty as you may think you areremember? If youre gonna smoke you should be willing to share.

Bette: Im gonna call a taxi

Bette ignored Alices insults and shuffled into the kitchen to find the phone. Meanwhile, everyone else zeroed in on Tina who was still looking distractedly out the window. Dont look at me, she said without turning around. Cmon Tinawe just wanna know where, Alice whined, and maybe positions, if you can remember that level of detail. Tina shot a quick, sideways glance toward the kitchen and shifted on the couch to face the rest of the party, Hallway closetstanding upwell she was, I was against the door with my legs Tinas whisper trailed as she gestured with her hands to explain what she was trying to say.

Alice: No way!

Shane: Holy *****!

Dana: Lesbians can do that?

Alice!

The living room fell completely silent as Bette walked in with the phone in her hand, Where the ***** is my coat?