It might have been a shadowed gaze. Half a smile, painted so typically on a somewhat childish face. It might have been the simple truths, delivered in a low burl, made hoarse by alcohol and smoke. It might have even been the uncanny allure of being the center of attention of the girl every woman in the bar wanted to be close to. Having her urge her to smile, as if that small gesture alone would magically remove the scarlet letter she was so tired of wearing.

Or was it a hand on the small of her back? An intimate whisper in her ear? A compliment. And not of the ordinary kind, but of the-leaving-you-weak-at-the-knees kind. A secret promise. Of solace. The hand lower on her back. A half-heartedly chagrined stare, useless against the sweetness of acceptance. Forgiveness. The hand on her thigh now, leaving a burning trail of unbroken promises. And that sweet sweet smile, rendering all logical objections utterly mute.

And then, not so very mute.

She couldn’t be sure, and truth be said, she wasn’t quite keen on analyzing the elements that had led her to wake next to the sprawl of long arms and longer legs. Not that she was a stranger to alcohol-induced encounters. In the days before Tina they were actually a familiar, if somewhat empty ritual.

She just wasn’t used to the lack of a well deserved hangover.

Or a good excuse.

She could, of course, blame it on the solitude. The pain of losing her one and only true love. It was a distinguished reason. Legendary, even. Men have gone to war over it. Jumped off of bridges for it. Invented life altering devices to keep their minds of it.

So what was an insignificant sexual encounter between friends?

Only the taste in her mouth was of the wild, untamed variety. And it made her smile, when she had absolutely no good reason too. That – and the lack of booze – made Shane’s naked presence in her bed a somewhat noticeable event.

One might even call it..

“Holly *****..”

“Well.. I was going for ‘colossal disaster’, but I suppose yours works just as well.”

“Bette man.. no long words pre coffee, please.”

And that was that. Pressure built over days, weeks and even months of agony just cracked into a fluent fit a giggles.

“You find this amusing?” the voice was neutral, as was the expression of its owner. Shane was never one to release an emotion before gauging all the relevant elements.

“Oh yeah..” the giggles subsided, leaving a smile in their wake, and Bette turned on her side, letting her hand follow imaginary patterns on warm ivory skin of a flat abdomen.

“Do you have any idea how deep the ***** we’re in?” the voice still hasn’t relented, and a gaze followed her finger’s every move in mock disinterest.

“Quite.”

“So whatcha smiling for?” but now a childish smirk crept just under the cool faade, conceding to the absurdity of the situation.

“Well.. if for nothing else, I figured we just seriously fucked up Alice’s chart.”

“I’ll get a law degree, and we’ll just render the whole thing privileged.”

“I thought you didn’t do long worded thing pre-coffee.”

“Desperate times and all..”

“And which one of us is the desperate one?”

A swift turn of a head and intent blue eyes inches from her own.

“Don’t, B.” not missing the small flinch caused by her raised eyebrow at the familiar epithet spoken in a strange voice, “I.. umm.. it was never that..”

“I know.”

It came out warmer than she expected, but the reward was instant, as soft lips covered hers, silencing the not so small voice coming from the back of head. She let herself sink into the kiss, raising a hand to the dark head, urging it to drown the many doubts about to plague them both. Finally, though, they both needed to come up for air, leaving them still staring in each other’s eyes without recoiling.

This was not a good sign.

“I think you just eliminated our only line of defense.” but her hand was still on a smooth cheek.

“How’d ya figure?”

“The famous, yet effective ‘drunken-one-night-stand’ defense.”

“I think you not drinking kinda took that off the table.”

“You figure?”

“I, on the other hand, almost made it..” the familiar shake of a head, and a smile usually attributed to children caught in a forbidden act.

“You can still make it, you know.. I don’t know what was in that vodka mix, but I’d vouch for its potency.. I did taste it long after you finished it.”

“And the kiss?”

“You can always blame that on my depraved, corruptive qualities.. I am, after all, a known cheater.”

“Excellent,” But the head had not moved, and Shane’s eyes sparkled, just a bit, before she let lose her punch line, “Only thing is.. I wasn’t drunk.”

“Ah.. horny then?” she was walking a thin line, and knew it. A dangerous game, she could not justify, and yet had a compelling urge to play.

“Is that what you think of me?”

“It’s what most of Milk’s residents think of you.”

The flinch was sharper now, and Shane turned from her, sitting up at the side of the bed in one fluent motion.

“*****.. I’m sorry Shane, I didn’t mean it that way.” she was sitting up, trying to reach her, and missed by a thread as the long body stood, and moved to the edge of the room, before stopping, still with a back to her.

“Sure you did.” Said in a low defeated tone.

If she would have to look back to that moment, she might consider it was a key moment. A reaction that would define what they have done, or rather ill-define it. But as she was getting up of the bed, not bothering with a robe, and chased Shane’s to the coffee machine, where she grabbed the long body, and put her hands around a soft neck, she hadn’t really considered the ramifications. She just figured Shane’s needed to be hugged. And that was that.

Consequences, however dire for them both, would just have to wait.

***