Chapter 64

“Ok Babe…SO…we have decided to go with the circumcision for Dylan…right? Bette…did you hear me? You in there Baby? Hello? Where did you go? Bette?”

“Oh – yeah…yeah…I guess so. I don’t know – I mean it isn’t medically necessary or anything. Maybe we’re making the wrong decision…. I don’t know T….”

“Ok – let’s start this over again…BETTE…Do you want to do this or not? I can go either way with it – WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?”

“God Tina…it just seems so…barbaric…I don’t know…a poor defenseless baby…who has no say in anything…and we’re going to let them…. snip…”

“Bette – I’m sure that penises everywhere are worshipping you right now! Not that they haven’t worshipped you before… Tina winked at Bette – Bette smiled back. “BUT could we please make a decision. You know -one for our son – what do you want to do?”

“Well now if we’re talking aesthetics…. I guess the argument could be made for it…Tina – since it isn’t medically necessary I don’t know that I can justify doing it…I mean having it done…you know what I mean.”

“Ok Babe then the answer is no – ok? We won’t have it done…OK????”

“Ok – yeah – ok – we won’t have it done…Are we making a mistake? I mean what if all the other boys are…”

“Jeez Bette – just shoot me now – will you please try to pick a side here? Please – Dylan will be going to college before we make a decision!”

“Ok – I say no!”

“Ok Babe – the answer is NO! Deal Baby! NO IT IS! Yeah – Mama CAN make a decision!!!!” Tina gave Bette a kiss. “Thank you Baby! Thank you for making a decision!!! I love you!”

“I love you too T…are you sure…?”

“Don’t even start again or you’re going to have to deal with an extremely frustrated pregnant woman – you don’t want that now – do you?”

“Nope – wouldn’t want that Babe – NOPE – Jeez – NOPE – UHUH!”

“Hey Bette – we better get going. We don’t want to miss our first Lamaze class!”

Bette and Tina arrived at Dr. Wilson’s office 20 minutes later. They walked into the waiting room where the class was going to be held.

Bette whispered to Tina. “Now isn’t this nice – all these happy, pregnant heterosexuals…. this could be a lot of fun….”

“Baby, you can have fun…but remember…we’re here to learn something – you know – to maybe make the birthing process easier…. Bette… are you with me?”

“I’m with you…I’m with you.”

Bette and Tina found two seats and sat down. Bette reached over and grabbed Tinas hand and gave it a squeeze. She looked at Tina – winked and smiled. “We’re coming in to the home stretch now Baby!”

“Yeah we are aren’t we…I love you…” Tina smiled warmly back at Bette.

“Ok everyone – I’m your instructor, Megan. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have at any time. There are no stupid questions. I want to help all of you to have the best possible birthing experience you can. Before we go any further let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.” The six couples in the room introduced themselves and then Megan continued. “Ok – we are going to watch a movie of an actual birth where Lamaze is used.” Off went the lights – and the movie rolled.

The movie GRAPHICALLY showed all of the stages of the birthing process. Tina stared at the movie screen – transfixed and in awe. “Oh my God – oh my God. I cant do that! Can I back out of this?

“I think it’s a little late for that T – oh my God – will you look at that – no- God don’t look…look at that…oh god – I’m going to throw up. Oh my God!!! OUCH!!!! Jeez – it’s a wonder the human race hasn’t died off…. Oh GOD – look at that…***** – look at that…My God Tina – how are we going to get through this….?”

“Ah…God…oh God – I can’t do this…I really can’t. Tina put her hands on her belly and whispered to the babies. “Ok Dylan…Taylor…. you have my express permission to never…NEVER be born. Stay right where you are – we’ll figure out accommodations as the years go by.

“Look at all that blood…I can’t breath T. Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Bette looked at Tina with concern.

“Like I have a choice at this point in time…..?” Tina shot Bette a look that clearly said DUH!.

They both watched the film as the baby was delivered. Bette and Tina just looked at each other – their look clearly conveyed what they we both thinking. ‘We should have adopted!’

Megan turned the lights back on. “Ok – now we’ll go around the room – each person can ask two questions.”

It was clear from the questions being asked that most of these couples had done this before.

When Megan got to the couple right before Bette and Tina, the couples questions were – well…

“We had our first child by C-section – what are the chances of having a NATURAL birth this time? How can I support my partner through the birth?” This was the husband speaking. Bette thought to herself. ‘Right about now I’m praying for a C-section! – What are you – ***** nuts?’

It was the wifes turn. “Will I learn techniques that will make it possible for me to endure the pain without medication? Oh – and I had the same question about going natural this time!” Bette looked at the two of them again. ‘They’re ***** nuts! What’s wrong with these people?’

Megan moved on to Bette and Tina. “So Tina – your questions?”

Tina – still recovering from the movie, said, “Number one – what drugs can I have? And number 2 – when can I have them? I don’t want to miss that window of opportunity!” The other five couples looked at her as if she’d committed a felony by asking these questions. Were those STUPID questions? Tina asked sarcastically while glaring at her classmates.

“Ok Bette – your turn.” Megan focused her attention on Bette. Bette squirmed in her seat.

“Yeah…well…ah…what drugs can she have and when? AND…Can I have some too?” Bette’s face was ashen – and she didn’t care that everyone was staring at her – and Tina – in disbelief. All she knew was that she felt like she was going to hurl!

“Ok – I’ll answer all of your questions next week – see you all then.” Megan closed the session in a bubbly tone that made Bette want to slap her. She was feeling anything but bubbly!

Bette and Tina gathered their things and walked out to the car.

“Tina?”

“Yeah Babe?”

“We are going to live through this – aren’t we?”

“Yes…. we will. Boy that movie was an eye opener huh?” Tina grabbed Bette’s hand and held it tight.

Bette responded by pulling Tina in for a kiss – a gentle kiss – but passionate. “I promise I’ll try to get over myself and my fears before we go into the delivery room T…I want to be there for you…”

“You’ll do fine Babe – just fine…I’m not too worried. Well – a little scared – but we’ll be just fine.”

They got into their car. They sat in silence for a moment and then Bette leaned over and kissed Tina. “I love you Baby…I really love you…” Bette kissed Tina again. She pulled away and looked into Tina’s eyes and then leaned in and kissed her again, parting her lips with her tongue. Tina moaned softly into the kiss.

Hey Kennard – mind if I cop a feel?

And just how old are we Porter? But.yeah.go ahead – if you really feel like you have to

YeahI feel like I kind of have to Bette gave Tinas left breast a squeeze. She leaned over and kissed Tina again – delivering another gentle squeeze at the same time. God Tina – youre so damn *****

Are you going to lose interest in me when Im not pregnant anymore? Tina had a serious look on her face.

Im not going to lose interestdont ever think thatI adore you T. Youve always been ***** – and you always will be. Bette leaned over and began talking to the babies. Ok you two – in about eight weeks youll be coming out of Mommyand thank God you wont remember the process – eeeek – youd never come out if you saw what we just saw. And then just think Bette looked up at Tina and smiled a sweet smile. then I can make love to your Mommy like I used tobefore the two of you made her so incrediblyHUGE! Tina swatted Bettes head. I promise that when the two of you are born I wont let Mommy smack you like she smacks me all the time. Youll have to learn to watch what you say around her – she gets a little testy at times. Tina swatted Bettes head again. See – I told you. But you know what – your Mommy loves your Mama very much and I just bet shes going to apologize for hitting me when we get home. Dont watch – OK? – because its going to be AT LEAST R RATED!

No Babe – its not going to be R rated – itll be at least NC-17. I owe you a HUGE apology. But if you ever tell me Im HUGE againIllIll

Youll what T?

Ill show you when we get home. Can we please go now? I really need to go to bedwith you

TBC