Restrained Recovery
by Char Hall (drakkar@rogers.com)
and
Cheryl Helm (chelm@netwalk.com)

Part Twenty

– x –

I just need to stop at The Planet for a few minutes, Dane. Alice fought desperately to keep the grin off her face. As far as Dana knew, she and Alice were on their way to a nice quiet celebratory dinner. The day before, Dana had risen to the challenge of her tournament and had won, much to the surprise of many of the spectators. Alice secretly wondered if Danas own manager had been surprised as well.

She pulled to the curb and got out. As she rounded the car, Alice noticed that Dana was still buckled in and staring vacantly out the windshield. She leaned down and opened the door. Come with me. Francesca brought some trinkets from Rome she wants to give us. Even to Alice it sounded like a lame excuse, but Dana seemed not to register it. The tennis player released her seatbelt and unfolded herself from the car. Alice held out her arm and Dana half-heartedly hooked it with her own.

If Dana noticed the odd hush of the caf turned club, she didnt let on. Alice grinned again. She didnt need to hide it this time as she threw open the doors. Inside the planet was dark and very quiet. Dana stiffened and halted just inside the door. Suddenly the lights sparked to life and The Planet screamed, Congratulations, Dana!

Dana covered her face with her hands, trying to hide the blush that had risen to her cheeks. A smile had involuntarily slipped into her cheeks. It felt good to have a smile she couldnt immediately wipe away. Ever since winning the tournament, Dana realized she had nothing to think about but Lara. The disgusting way she had treated Lara had come crashing down on her, settling into her stomach like poisoning. Some twisted form of stubbornness was preventing her from calling Lara and apologizing. A small part of her was sure Lara would reject her and Dana couldnt handle that.

You did it, Dana! Harrison Landy was the first person to grab her and wrestle her into a hug. Dana returned his hug with a proud ferocity.

Thanks, Harrison, Dana said and then took a moment to check out her surroundings. The planet had been mostly cleared of tables in order to accommodate the incredible amount of people who were milling around. On the back wall was a large banner congratulating her. Cameras flashed like strobe lights, causing her to blink several times.

Holy *****, Alice, Dana muttered, grabbing Alices arm again. I dont know this many people!

Dana, the whole community is buzzing.

Dane! Good job, Shane stepped up and took a hug. Can I get you something to drink?

Thanks, Shane. Gin and seven, please. Shane wandered off and Dana noticed the rest of the gang hanging back and waiting patiently to offer their congratulations. Dana waved and went over to them.

Bette and Tina hugged her at the same time. Marina also hugged her and Francesca shook her hand. Dana thanked them for their hospitality. After they had finished making small talk and everyone had wandered off to socialize, a lithe blond woman Dana recognized made her way over and offered her hand.

Well done, Ms. Fairbanks, she said.

Thank you. Its Robin, isnt it?
Yeah, we met at Radar a week or so ago, Robin offered with a grin.

I remember. Are you enjoying yourself?

I am.

Thats good, Dana said. At that moment, Shane arrived at her elbow and handed her a beverage. Would you excuse me, Robin? It was good to meet you again. Dana politely excused herself and continued to mingle. She would have preferred to have a quiet conversation with her intimate group of friends, but shed done enough public relations to know that wasnt possible just yet.

After an hour and a half of schmoozing, Dana decided she needed some fresh air. She pushed her way onto the patio and was surprised to find Shane, Alice, Marina and Francesca standing to one side.

The scene is buzzing with the latest news, Francesca said, a superior smile riding her cheeks. Marina crossed her arms, staring coldly at her partner. Francesca didnt seem to notice and Dana doubted she would care if she had. Curious, Dana sipped her drink and took another step toward them. Apparently, Francesca continued, Susan Birch has regained her long lost submissive.

Danas step faltered and she felt her drink slip from her fingers. The smash of the glass on concrete startled Alice, who turned around just as Dana was stooping to pick up the shards. Her fingers shook as she picked up the pieces. Alice was suddenly in front of her, crouched down, too. She put a hand on Danas shoulder.

Dana stared into Alices eyes, unwilling to fight the tears that sprung into her own. Alice watched crushing emotion play across her friends face and felt a deep despair at the fact that she was suddenly helpless to prevent Danas pain. Both women looked at one another, not able to speak or move, until suddenly Dana gasped, her mouth forming a pained o.

*****, she muttered, looking down the fingers of her serving hand. She had sliced them open on a sharp shard of glass. Blood flowed easily to pool in her palm. Alice reached for her, grasped her other hand and pulled her up.

Leave it, Dana, one of the staff will get it, she said as she began to lead Dana to the rest room. Are you all right?

F-fine.

Bullshit, Alice muttered, too low to be heard by Dana over the din.

The bathroom was empty when they arrived and Alice guided Dana to one of the sinks. She took Danas wrist and noted how incredibly pliable Dana had become. She didnt resist as Alice spread her fingers, and gently eased them under the running faucet. Blood sluiced into the sink, turning it a gentle pink color. When Alice had cleared the blood away, she held Danas hand under the light, turning it this way and that, to make sure there were no glass fragments in the wound. She pulled some bandages out of her purse and proceeded to minister to Danas lacerated fingers.

There, Alice said. Do they feel okay, or are they too tight?

Dana merely shrugged, sagging against the wall with her head back. A weight had settled in her chest and it was pressing in, making breathing difficult. She hadnt ever considered the possibility that Lara might go back to Susan. She knew now that there would never be the opportunity to apologize. She felt cold numbness spread through her body and shivered almost hard enough to make her teeth chatter.

Come on, girl, youre free of all that now, Alice said, referring to Laras unexpected return to Susan.

Dana took a shuddering breath. I just–she I–

Okay, shh. Okay, its okay, come here. Alice gathered Dana into her arms, surprised at the clammy feel of Danas skin. Alice smoothed her hand over Danas hair, swaying gently back and forth in an attempt to comfort. Its okay, Dane, Alice whispered.

Nothing will ever be okay again, Dana muttered.

I know it feels that way. But, Dana, you did the right thing.

Did I? Dana asked. She pulled back from Alice and wiped her cheeks and nose with the back of her hand.

Alice frowned. You kicked Lara out of your home for bringing heroin into it. You washed your hands of a potentially serious problem. You were protecting yourself and I, for one, am not judging you for that. You should be thankful its not your problem anymore. Alice gritted her teeth at the callousness that had crept into her tone. She hadnt meant to sound so unfeeling. The truth was that Alice had really liked Lara, had hoped that everything could have been sorted out. The reality of the situation, however, seemed beyond repair. Alices current focus was to protect Dana, whatever the cost.

Dana sniffled again and sucked in a deep breath. I guess.

Yeah. Come on, lets fix your makeup and get back out there. You have a party to attend.

Id much rather go home, Al.

I know. But do you wanna risk offending Francesca and Marina? They put a lot of work into this.

Right, Al, lay on the guilt, Dana bristled, as if I dont have enough already.

Im sorry. Its just that there are a lot of people out there who are really proud of you. Keep that in mind, huh? You kicked some ***** yesterday and you deserve to bask in that glory.

Dana shrugged, not really believing she deserved anything more than to sink in a well of self-loathing and despair, but she tried her best to paste something that resembled a smile to her lips. Alice helped her clean off and then reapply mascara, gave her a few eye drops to get rid of the redness from the tears and gently prodded her back out to the party.

– x –


She was making her way down the walk past the courts, on her way to work. The sun was bright, the air clear; if only her mood matched the weather but it didnt. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Dana and her trainer working on serves and volleys. She lowered her head and walked faster.

Dana saw Lara power walking past the court and yelled, Lara! Wait! tossed her racquet on top of her sports bag, and began to jog toward her. Wait up, she panted.

Her heart thudding slowly and beginning to chill with fear, Lara stopped and slowly turned around.

Hey! Whereve you been? Danas lips were smiling, but her eyes were blazing.

Lara backed away. What do you care? You threw me out, remember? Dana was continuing to move closer, and Lara was walking backwards, hands up in front of her.

And you didnt do anything to cause that? Dana snarled and her hand shot out, wrapped itself in Laras hair and pulled her brutally toward her. You didnt bring that FILTH into my house? You didnt have your girlfriend tape me tied up and ***** like a ***** star? You didnt.

Lara thrashed in Danas grip and tried to push her away, but the more she tried, the harder it was to move. She continued to push, thrash her arms, turning her head side to side, yelling No, Dana, please no! Stop!

Until her eyes shot open to find she was tangled up in bedsheets stinking of her own stale sweat, in a dim room where the smell of cooked heroin still lingered from last night. The drawn curtains made it impossible to tell what time it was but she was guessing, from the way she felt that it was probably early evening.

It still took Lara a few more groggy minutes to realize she was in Susans guest bedroom. Susan had refused to take her to her bed last night and wouldnt tell her why. She seemed oddly distant but not particularly annoyed. She simply handed her a dime bag from Joey, and a clean rig and told her to take the evening off. For a moment, Lara felt unbelievably cheap, but the first skin pop took care of that in a few moments – that and every other feeling she had. She wasnt ready to graduate to pinning but the highs werent as strong already and werent lasting as long, and she needed them to. Otherwise, the other Lara began to resurface the one that once had a life and someone who loved her it was taking more and more heroin to keep that Lara quiet, unthinking and unfeeling, devoid of any wants or cares or memories.

She fumbled around for yesterdays jeans and wife beater, and pulled them on, slipped into her sandals and meandered out of the bedroom, lost in that midland haze between her last fix and the next where her mind blessedly was still unable to function clearly but she could feel the beginnings of the nausea, the twitch and crave of withdrawal. Eventually, the voice of the body would become loudest. Susan was standing at the bar, wearing a lavender satin robe open down to there, talking on the phone. She caught Laras eye, smiled briefly, and nodded her toward the couch before returning her attention to the phone call.

David, she said in a clearly annoyed tone, I really dont GIVE a ***** what you tell the court. Make something up. Thats what I pay you for. Im sure Im not the first person to drop this kind of case. She listened for a few seconds, gritting her teeth. Just get it done! she snapped and slammed the phone down.

She turned her back to Lara, put both hands palms down on the bar, as if steadying herself, fighting for control. She took a deep breath and, recomposed, looked at Lara over her shoulder. Would you like something to drink, sweetheart?

Lara smiled shyly at the attention and nodded. Her skin flushed at the thought that Susan might touch her tonight. It had only been a day but it seemed so long ago. The craving for Susan was even stronger than her craving for herointhe feel of her skin, her fingers dragging down her spine, up her thigh. Lara felt herself growing moist between her legs as Susan walked slowly round the bar, hips swaying with promise, and pulled out a bottle of champagne from an ice bucket under the bar. She popped the cork on the Moet and they laughed as it bounced off the ceiling and sailed across the room. She poured two generous glasses and walked slowly toward Lara, handing her one, and stroking her hand after she took the glass.

Do you know what day this is?

Lara knitted her brow, tried to remember. No, she smiled lazily, not really. She fell into Susans eyes, fascinated with their blueness, the dark rims around the iris; eyes of mystery, like the woman herself, called to every one of her senses.

Its Saturday. Its been a week.

Oh, Lara smiled again. It was clear she wasnt making the connection.

Do you remember what I told you?

Lara rummaged through her memories, shifting back. Had it really been only a week ago that shed walked through the rain and stood on Susans porch? Asking, what do you want from me, Susan?

One week. Anything I ask. Everything I want. Had she actually done it? Given Susan anything she asked, everything she wanted? The question rose to the surface on her face. Susan reached out and stroked her. Yes, darling, you have everything I wanted, anything I asked.

A worried frown flicked across Laras face. She felt unsettled, anxious, as if something were about to happen she did not want. Susan, I .

Susan brushed Laras thigh with her hand, raking her nails along as she did so, stood up and walked to the credenza. She returned with a thick packet in an envelope, and laid it on Laras lap.

You kept your part of the bargain. Ive kept mine. David will have the restraining order rescinded, the case dropped. She tapped the envelope with a fingernail. The tape, the pictures, all of it. She looked at Lara across a long moment of silence before standing up, taking Laras hand and walking her to the door. Laras bag sat on the floor beside it. She took Laras glass from her hand, opened the door, leaned forward and brushed her lips with a kiss. Youre free to go.

Lara stared numbly at Susan, at the thick envelope of everything that could have destroyed Dana, and looked out the door. The night was swallowing up the sounds outside. Somewhere out there was her car. She could take her things and go home, go back to what? An empty apartment? An empty life? A job that involved seeing Dana several times a week, seeing her, wanting her, and never having her again. She looked out at the darkness, saw the loathing and contempt on Danas face the last time she saw her.

She looked at Susan, her skin luminous in the backlit glow from the porch light. She could feel everything she loved and craved in her: her hands on her, inside her; her mouth, her lips, her teeth; her voice, when it washed over her like rain. She could not distinguish whether it was surrender or resignation that moved her now, but she placed the flat of her hand on the door and closed it with a soft click.

A satisfied smile crossed Susans lips. She tucked one hand under Laras chin and tilted it up so her eyes were directly on her. Is there something you want to say to me?

Lara dropped her gaze. Please.let me stay.

You dont want to leave?

No. The answer was a whisper.

Never?

Lara shook her head.

Say it! Susan hissed.

Never, Susan.

The blow caught Lara completely off guard as Susan put her palm on her chest and hit her. Susan! Lara gasped, caught short of breath.

Susan knocked the envelope out of her hand, grabbed her bicep and swung her around, shoved her in the chest again. Never?

No, Susan, please. No, never! Lara pleaded.

Then why did you try? Susans face had turned pale, her eyes blazed and the colors shifted and swirled.

I dontI.

Susan shoved Lara again, and this time she fell back against the couch. There was no place for her to go now. Susan, please, I wont ever.

Susan reached out and clamped her fingers down on Laras wrist. Youre damned right you wont ever!

Lara winced with pain but didnt try to pull away. She knew that would only infuriate Susan, and worse things could happen much worse. She knew not to push now. Im sorry, Susan, Im so sorry. I know I shouldnt have.

Susan grabbed Laras other wrist and pulled her closer. I will never let you go. Do you understand that? You belong to me! You are MINE!

Lara nodded, and allowed Susan to pull her into her arms. Even her anger felt good on her skin. God, she had missed her touch! Yes, Susan, she said, looking into those eyes, gone almost black with anger and jealousy, I am yours. Always.

Deep within, she felt some part of her twinge, she felt some odd feeling pitch and roll across her stomach, she felt some flare of sorrow that almost, but not quite, reached her throat. Her mind refused to accept it, and dug deep for some remnant of that heroin-driven velvet abandon, something to white out and quiet the unwanted feelings. And found it just as Susan crushed her mouth with her own, forcing her tongue into a long deep wet kiss and every muscle in Laras pelvis clamped down hard.

Its time to remind you why you dont ever want to leave me, she whispered into Laras ear, taking her earlobe into her teeth and nipping hard enough to make Lara gasp, why you belong to me.

She buried her hands in Laras hair, pulled hard, pulling her head back to expose her neck. She put her mouth to that sensitive spot she knew, over the artery, just below the jawline, and sucked hard, setting off an erotic signal that traveled rapidly down her body. Lara moaned and writhed against Susan, who pushed back hard with her pelvis, pinning her against the back of the couch and grinding into her.

Oh God, Lara whispered hoarsely. All her senses were flooded by Susans touch and scent. She wanted to be touched everywhere, sucked her breath in through her teeth when Susan began raking her nails down her back, one hand on each side of her spine, and her mouth moved down along the strap of her wife beater. Please! She arched her back.

Susan shoved her hands under Laras shirt, and pulled it off roughly over her head, her mouth moving hungrily to one breast, then the other, tugging and pulling and rolling her aroused nipples with her lips and tongue. Lara moaned as Susan drifted her fingers along her ribs, pressing fingertips into the grooves between, dragging a fingernail along at an unexpected moment.

One hand dropped to the button on her jeans, popped it loose, and began to lower the zipper with aching slowness. The sound alone made Lara shiver, and the touch of Susans hands sliding inside her jeans, tugging open the waistband of her panties, and moving fast toward that dark wet place between her legs. She laid two fingers across the opening to Laras ***** and pressed down but didnt enter her, instead pressing the heel of her palm down on her ***** and squeezing.

Lara slid her hands around Susans back, shivering at the soft slick smoothness of her robe. She pressed herself against Susan, yielding to her mouth, her hands as Susan stopped and stripped off her jeans and underwear in one motion, pressed her thigh against Laras and pushed it to the side, forcing her legs to open wider for her. She pinned Laras wrists to the couch, and slid her thigh back and forth in her wetness, tongue probing hungrily, moaning into Laras mouth. You know what I want.

Yes.

You know Im going to have it.

Yes.

Youre going to give it to me.

Yes.

Any way I want.

Yes.

She turned Lara around and entered her from behind, one finger at a time until three fingers were thrusting into Laras tight wet *****. She pressed her body against Laras, arm reached around to grab, tug, squeeze, pull, twist and roll her nipples, left to right and back again, before her hand drifted up to Laras throat, where she tightened her grip as her ***** became more urgent, her hips thrusting against Lara. Youll never leave me again, she said through gritted teeth as her arousal began to hit fever pitch.
No, Lara answered breathlessly, never. Laras own arousal was intense, cutting through the residual druggy haze, but still not registering how rough Susan was being, only how much she wanted her, wanted to be fucked by her, over and over and over again. Lara began to rock against Susan, matching the rhythm of her stroking hand and the movement of her hips.

Susan tightened her grip on Laras throat, murmuring come on, baby, come on over and over again. The tighter she squeezed, the harder Lara writhed and ground against her, and the more it aroused her. Everything intensified, accelerated, her wanting, Laras response until, pounding her whole hand into Laras ***** and thrusting against her, Susan came screaming and so did Lara.

They slumped over the back of the couch, legs shaking, sticky with sweat and *****. I can be good to you, baby, Susan whispered.

So good, Lara whispered back, youre so good.

Susan rested her head on Laras back until the shaking subsided and her pulse slowed. She slowly withdrew her hand and licked her fingers, savoring Laras taste on the tip of her tongue. Lara suddenly twitched and grabbed her stomach, groaning, and began to shake.

Whats the matter baby? she asked, knowing full well what was wrong.

II need

Susan stroked Laras head, crooning to her, Its all right, baby. Well go over to the club. Ill have Joey take care of you. Lets go get cleaned up.

Lara found it hard to straighten up. Her muscles seemed to be hardening and spasming, sending twinges up and down her arms and legs. This was going to be bad, she thought. Can we go soon? she asked Susan plaintively.

Yes, baby, soon, Susan answered, taking Lara by the hand and leading her to the bathroom.

– x –

End Part Twenty