Tina was lying on the bed trying to figure out what her next move should be. Images of everything that had happened from last night until this morning played in her head. This is just all too much to deal with she thought. How did my life get so messed up? Her head started to pound again and she wasnt sure if it was a carryover from last night or just all of the emotional stress that she was under that was causing it. She rubbed her temples trying to soothe the pain with no relief so she got up and went to get some aspirin. She was standing in the hall when Julie came out from her room.

Good morning honey Julie said.

Morning Mom Tina said.

Thats nice to hear Julie said.

What? Tina asked.

You calling me mom again Julie said.

Oh Tina said as she got the aspirin out of the hall closet.

Tina honey, do you have a headache again? Julie asked.

Yes Tina said. I am just going to take these aspirin and go lie down for a while and try to sleep.

Okay honey Julie said. I hope you will feel better after you rest. I am just going to fix me something for breakfast. Sure you wouldnt care for something?

No Tina said. I couldnt eat a thing right now.

Tina walked with Julie to the kitchen and took her aspirin and went back to the bedroom. Her head was pounding and her emotions were so out of whack she just wanted to cry.

She thought back to last night when her world had started to tilt on its side. Shortly after they had dinner last night was when the headache had started. Everyone had been kind to her and let her know who they were and told her some of the memories they shared and she had started to feel a little more comfortable with the situation. Gradually the headache had gotten worse and she had gone in the house to find Bette. When she entered the house she heard Alice and Bette talking so she went towards the sound of their voices. She hadnt meant to stand there listening to them talk, but when she heard Alice ask Bette about finding out why she cheated on her with Candace she stopped dead in her tracks so she could hear Bettes reply. Her first instinct was to confront Bette about what she heard, but she decided that she didnt want to do that in front of Alice. She wasnt sure she could deal with any emotional upheaval because her headache was getting worse by the minute. So she had opted to pretend that she didnt hear anything for the moment. She had taken the aspirins and crawled onto the bed in Bettes room desperately seeking solace from the pain.

She knew she had slept for a while but wasnt sure exactly how long. She had started to dream, images of her life flowing through her mind as she slept. The images started out hazy and clear but soon became so vivid that Tina woke up. In the moment she opened her eyes she knew what the images were. Her memory had returned. She was excited that her memory was back and she turned to wake up Bette to tell her but she stopped midstream when the memory that Bette slept with Candace stopped her. Memories of that last night together flooded in to her mind and tears began to run down her face.

She had gotten out of bed and left the bedroom to try and deal with what had just happened. She had gone back to their bedroom, shut the door, sat down and cried in the darkness. Her every thought was about what Bette had done and what had happened that night. The pain of those memories cut through her like a knife and she considered getting up and running away again. She even got so far as to get up and walk to the front door before she realized she couldnt do it. She knew that running wasnt the answer. She knew now that running wouldnt solve anything and besides she had run once and she wound up in a hospital with no memory. It had been a terrifying experience for her to not know who she was. She knew that the only thing that had kept her from going crazy was Bette. Even when she hadnt known who and what Bette meant to her, she had felt something for her. Bette had been nothing but kind, caring and loving to her since the accident.

The question that she had kept asking her self was why. Why had Bette cheated on her? Why had she been so kind and loving since the accident? Why had she let her go to Denver? For every question she came up with, another question followed that she wasnt sure she wanted to hear the answer to. Had Bette cheated on her because she wasnt in love with her anymore, because she didnt find her desirable anymore or worse yet was she in love with Candace? Had she been kind and loving to her since the accident out of pity or guilt? Had she let her go to Denver because she wanted her out of her life forever so she could pursue a relationship with Candace? She knew she needed to have these questions answered before she could make any decisions about what she was going to do. She thought about asking Bette point blank for the answers to all of her questions but she didnt feel that she could trust Bette to give her honest answers. That thought had made her sad because she had always totally trusted and believed in Bette and her love for her but in the blink of an eye it was all gone. She had tried to think of a way to get the answers to her questions and that is when she decided to not tell Bette about her memory returning. She didnt want to play games with Bette but she had to have some answers so she could decide what she was going to do. She had to figure out what the right thing was for her self and maybe ultimately for Bette too. She went back and crawled back in to bed with Bette and formulated her plan and waited until it was almost time for Bette to get up and go to work to implement it.

A soft knock on the bedroom door brought Tinas thoughts back to the present.

Come in Tina said.

I just wanted to check on you Julie said. To make sure you are okay. Hows the headache?

Still there Tina said. The aspirins dulled it a little but I havent been able to sleep.

Is there anything I can get for you? Julie asked.

No Tina replied. Mom in case I havent said it, thanks for being here for me.

Where else would I be? Julie said. I know you dont remember, but we havent been that close for a while but I am hoping that we will be now.

I hope so too. Tina said.

Good Julie said smiling. Get some sleep honey. Hopefully it will ease your headache.

Julie left the room and guilt pooled in Tinas stomach. She hadnt told her mom that her memory hadnt returned. She knew she had a decision to make as to whether or not she was ready to tell the world her memory was back or to still pretend that she didnt remember anything. She didnt want to lie to her family and friends, but she still needed answers from Bette and she wasnt sure that she could get them if she admitted her memory had returned. She knew she had pushed Bette in to a corner this morning by trying to get her to make love to her but it had gotten her part of what she wanted. She had been worried with every word that had come out of Bettes mouth afraid that it would mean that her life with Bette was truly over and done with. She had been somewhat relieved upon hearing Bettes confession about the affair, why she had let her go to Denver and why she wouldnt make love to her. Bette had told her the truth about the affair and she had not taken advantage of her or the situation. That gave Tina a little hope that maybe Bette did still love her. Bette still had a lot to answer to before Tina could make any decisions about whether or not she would ever consider staying in a relationship with her. She decided to play it by ear as to whether or not she would tell Bette that her memory had returned. That having been decided, Tina rolled over and tried to sleep to ease the pain in her head.

Bette hadnt realized that she had been sitting in her car for over an hour until James tapped on her window and she rolled it down.

Hi Bette said. Im sorry I didnt see you come up to the car.

Bette James said. Are you okay? I saw you when I left an hour ago to run an errand and I just got back and youre still sitting here.

Yes Bette said. I just had some things on my mind. How have things been this morning?

Not too bad James replied.

Good Bette said.

Bette rolled up her window, got out of her car and walked in to the gallery with James. She made up her mind that she was going to do everything she could to focus on her work, so she didnt have to face the possibility of losing Tina at the end of the day.
She managed for the most part to focus on her work but thoughts of Tina would filter into her mind and make her sad. As the time approached when she normally would have left work to head home she wondered what she should do. Should she call, should she go to the house or should she just stay at work? She had just decided that she would just stay at work when the phone on her desk rang.

Bette Porter Bette said picking up the phone.

Bette Tina said. I need to see you. We need to talk about this morning and what happened and try to make some decisions.

Okay Bette said. You tell me where and when and I will be there.

Would now be too soon? Tina asked.

No Bette said. I can leave work and be there in about 20 minutes.

Bette Tina said softly. Ill be waiting.

TBC