I am so amazed that after two and a half years, Tina
and I finally had bought the house and lived together
full time. I had never wanted to live with anyone, but
after a short time dating I felt myself becoming a
stereotype and begged Tina to live with me. It was a
year before she finally agreed, and we bought the
house and settled into our neighborhood with ease.
Tina has made our house a home, and touches of her
personality were on everything, from the furniture to
all of the scented candles throughout the rooms.


When I finally arrived home, Alice and Dana were
waiting.


“It’s about damn time, Porter,” Alice said, her
ever-present smirk fully in place.


I popped the trunk. “Not now, we need to unload all of
this and get it inside.”


Dana and Alice made quick work of all the liquor that
I bought and we took it around to the back yard to set
up our little makeshift bar. I had hired a bartender
for the evening, as I didn’t want any of us to get
stuck making drinks for all of the people that were
sure to show up. I had invited all of Tina’s work
friends, some of my acquaintances from my years in the
art world, and knowing Alice, she had invited all of
West Hollywood. *****, that reminds me, “Al?”


“Yea?”


“Did you invite Gabby?”


“Well, we are seeing each other.”


I sighed; I was going to try to be nice. “Fine, but if
she gets out of hand, I will not hesitate to throw her
out on her *****.”


“Ohh, I love it when you get all butch, Bette.”


“I’m serious, Al. I don’t want anyone ***** up
Tina’s party.”


“Okay, okay. She’ll behave, I promise. I told her she
could bring some friends, I hope that is ok?”


“Fine, just fine.”


Somehow, I knew when I said it I
was totally lying to myself. Little did I know how
unfine things were going to be.

******************************************************************************


Tina was completely shocked as Shane led her into the
house, blindfolded so that we could all yell
“Surprise!” Either she really was surprised, or she
was a really good actress. She had been making the
rounds, talking with everyone who had come, even if
just for a few moments, making them all feel
important. She would glance at me; give me a wink as
she raised her glass. I could hardly wait until
everyone left and she and I could be alone.


I took a quick glance to my right at some raised
voices in the corner and saw that Alice and Gabby were
having a little quarrel, but I didn’t see the need to
step in. The last thing I wanted to do was get in the
middle of that ***** drama. I looked at Tina again and
she merely raised an eyebrow. I shrugged and went off
to make sure my house was not being destroyed.

I found Dana out by the pool, nursing her drink and
looking longingly into the water.


“What’s up Dane?” I asked, taking a seat next to her.


“Hey Bette, nothing, just sitting here.”


“Dana, there are tons of eligible women here, why
aren’t you trying to talk to any of them?”


“I dunno.”


“Daaannna?”


“Well, I mean, I want to, but I don’t want to say
something stupid.”


“How can you say something stupid, if you haven’t said
anything at all?”


“Where is the birthday girl?” Dana glances around, trying to change
the subject.


“Last I saw her, she was talking to one of her work friends.”


“She works with Nadia?”


“Huh? Nadia who?”


“Nadia Meirtschin, she’s one of Gabby’s friends. I
can’t stand that girl.”

I look at Dana, knowing that she is usually very
easygoing and laid back with people. I turn to where I
last saw Tina and see this Nadia character up on my
woman. She has Tina trapped against one of the walls in
the living room, one hand placed on the wall next to Tina’s head,
the other twirling a strand of Tina’s fine hair. Tina looks horrified,
and even though she is making every effort to get away, Nadia is still
leaning into her, whispering things that I am sure would really, really, make me
angry.


This is not good, nope, not good at all. The old Bette
would have already gone over there and broken the
*****’ hand, but the new and improved Bette is
content with sitting and letting the situation handle
itself. Tina has never been very impressed with my
caveman routine anyway, and I am counting on getting
laid tonight and don?t want to end up having her mad
at me instead.


“Bette, you need to go over there. That girl will not
hesitate to try to pick up on Tina. She is bad news,
for reals.”


“Dana, I think Tina is fully capable of handling the
situation,” I say, my attention back on the pool and
its occupants. I am definitely going to have to have
it cleaned after tonight.


“Really? The way Nadia is capable of handling Tina’s
*****?”


I turn sharply, nearly giving myself whiplash as I
catch Nadia now running her hands along Tina’s *****. Oh ***** no!
That ***** belongs to me!


I drop my drink and head over towards them, Dana on my
heels urging me not to kill anyone, that jail is not
cool, just ask Shane. I look for something to use as a
weapon and finding nothing, settle on taking off my
flip-flop. Yes, I will beat her ***** old school style.
Kit would be proud.

Suddenly, Gabby steps into my path, her hands on my
shoulders, stopping my progression.


“Thank you so much for having us over, Bette. This is
a great party.”


I jerk away from her touch, “Not now, Gabby.” I look
over Gabby?s shoulder and see that Nadia is still
coming on strong, her arms around Tina, who seems to
be trying to be polite as she pushes Nadia off of her.


“Smack her, T!” I think, wanting to get rid of Gabby and come to
Tina?s rescue. If she at least slapped her, she might be stunned long enough
until I can get over to them.




“Well, I wanted you to know that no matter what you
might think, Alice and I are going to be together.
She’s a grown woman..”


I put my hands up, “Great, great Gabby. I can’t tell
you how happy that makes me. Make sure I’m the first
one invited to the wedding, okay?”


I start to walk away, but she puts her hands on me again. I muster up
my most impressive glare, hoping that she will just
back off already, but no, not her. What in the ***** does Alice see in this
broad anyway?


“I see Nadia and Tina are getting along great.”


“If you call touching on someone who obviously is not
interested getting along, well, I feel sorry for
Alice.”

She gets closer to me as we watch Tina and Nadia
through the window, “I think they look kind of cute
together, Bette. Come on, how are you going to keep a
hot little piece like that all to yourself?”


I try to count to ten in my mind, but I keep getting
stuck on 2. I look to my right and see an abandoned cup
of beer left on the table. I grab it and then lurch a little as though
I’ve been bumped from behind, dumping the contents onto
Gabby’s shirt. She stands there in open mouthed shock, and
I get a little worried that she might try to deck me. Suddenly,
Alice comes out of nowhere. Doesn’t anyone care that I need to
get to my woman?



“Bette! What the fu-”


“Alice, keep this ***** away from me right now!” I want them both
to know that I mean business.


Dana is trying to hold Alice back, even though I know
she wouldn?t be dumb enough to try to kick my ***** for
Gabby, at least I don?t think she would.


“Al, Nadia is trying to pick up on Tina and Gabby
tried to stop Bette from going over there. Bette did
what she had to do!” Dana is pleading with Alice, who
keeps looking from me, to Gabby and then back again.


Alice bunches my shirt and pulls me close, whispering
in my ear, “Go save your woman, Porter,” then lets me
go. As I back away she smirks, “Try something like
that again and I?ll kick your ***** next time,” she
yells, clearly for Gabby’s sake, who is still
sputtering in indignation.


With Dana still on my heels, I storm into the
house. As much as I want to kick this girls *****, I think
I might take a different approach.


“Tina, it’s no secret, you’re quite sought after. If
you were ‘single’ today there would be a line around
this house of women wanting to date you. But why wait
that long. I mean it’s inevitable, she will leave you.
Bette can’t hold down a long term relationship. So why
don’t we just sneak off right now and you could have a
little taste of?”


I tap her on the shoulder, and she looks at me smugly,
knowing that I heard the bullshit that she just said. No,
this is so not going to fly with me. We’ve attracted the attention
of the occupants of the house, as most of them, no doubt, saw the look
on my face when I walked in.



“Sneaking off Nadia, with MY
woman?” I lean in close, smelling the fear that is coming off of Nadia.
This is so awesome, and I love the way she keeps looking around, as
if one of her buddies is going to come and rescue her.


“I’m absolutely, positively certain,
that I must have misunderstood what you were saying.
Well, that?s not surprising now is it, considering how
you were whispering into Tina’s ear? Now Nadia, I’m
sure you have more sense than to think for one minute
that you could come into my home, OUR home, the home we share together
as a committed
couple, and try to pick up on my girlfriend, my
partner.”




I move closer, making the ***** take a few steps back in the
process. I start backing her up towards the front door, the crowd
parting to make room and watch the show. Dana is standing off
to the side and I wink at her before continuing.


“It seems to me, that maybe, just maybe you weren’t aware that Tina
and I are together. I can understand that. Well
actually, I could understand it if maybe you weren’t
standing in our house, surrounded by photos of Tina
and I together. See,” I grab the nearest picture off of a
table near the door, “this is us last summer at our
pool, note that Tina is sitting on my lap. Oh, and
this one, we’re kissing. And there’s this one of us
when we took a trip to Hawaii, see how I have my
arms wrapped around her waist? Well
I’m sure you get the point. So now that I think about
it more clearly Nadia, I’ve decided you’re not
un-informed or ‘out of the loop’, you’re just stupid.”


I reach behind her and open the door, “And before
you leave, let me just leave you with this thought, if
you EVER again attempt to touch Tina’s ***** I will
break every bone in your body.” I put on my best fake smile,
the one I save for the people that I really hate.


“Okay, so sorry you have to leave early. Thanks for
stopping by.”


She looks at the crowd, seeing that she will get no support from anyone, and then
turns around and walks out the door. I quickly slam it, a little disappointed
that it missed her ***** by scant centimeters.


I turn and look at Tina, waiting to see the disapproval in her eyes, but instead she is looking
at me like she wants to jump my bones on the spot.


I think we might have to let Dana see everyone out. It’s time to give Tina her present.


***********************************************


To read Tina’s take on events, go to:

http://www.freewebs.com/betteandtinasplace/nadiatpov.htm