Tina and Bette had been sitting in silence for a couple moments, when the waiter arrived with their food. After he left, both women picked up their forks and locked eyes before starting to eat. Looking at Bette, Tina was feeling a surge of love, and…what? She wasn’t sure what it was…sympathy for sure, but, God…please don’t tell me that I am feeling a twinge of jealousy. All these years, I just wanted her to be happy, so why would I be jealous when I find out that she actually was? Well, that was something for her to think about when she was lying in bed alone tonight.

“Bette, please…tell me more about your life with Nica and Milaine.”

Bette smiled at Tina, glad that she was interested in hearing about how she had spent the last 15 years.

“Well, like I said earlier, I left LA about six months after you made the decision to leave.” Bette reached out and touched Tina’s hand. “T, for as much as it hurt when you left, I totally understand your decision. It was the right decision for both of us. I just loved you so much, that I couldn’t see what was best for us. You did see it, and I want to thank you for having the courage to leave. I know now that if you had stayed, it wouldn’t have worked…not with who I was at the time. I think I would have imploded at some point, taking us both down.”

Tina’s eyes filled with tears. She couldn’t believe how open and sincere Bette was being, and with such ease. It had always been Bette’s downfall, her inability to express her true feelings. Not that she wasn’t able to, it’s just that when she did, you could always see her struggle with it, that somehow by opening herself up it showed a weakness in character, or a flaw in her personality. But, this woman in front of her was totally comfortable with expressing herself verbally, as well as emotionally. Combine that with her strength of character and Tina was feeling her body and her heart reacting in a way it hadn’t for quite some time, yet was very familiar…with love, and also with a sense of pride for the person Bette had become. Wow…what a disarming combination!

“I met Veronica about a year after I moved here. It’s funny…I wasn’t looking to meet anyone.” Bette chuckled, “I wasn’t even looking for *****, let alone love, but…I went to a dinner party one night and was seated next to her. She was quiet, yet when she said something, there was no waste of words. Every syllable out of her mouth served a purpose. She didn’t talk just to partake in the conversation, didn’t feel the need to add her opinion to a pile of others, she just…I don’t know…you just felt like each word was only spoken after much thought and that it always came from the heart.” At this point Bette laughed out loud. “To this day I have no idea why she gave me her phone number at the end of the dinner, as I was my usual pompous self throughout the whole meal, but thank God she did.”

Tina watched with a genuine smile on her face as this woman, the love of her life, talked about someone else, and as she did Tina could see the love that Bette clearly felt for Nica etched on her face.

“Anyway, we started seeing each other, slowly at first. I have to be honest Tina, after we broke up, I didn’t want to be intimate with anyone.” Bette laughed and shook her head. “Poor Nica, she really had to work for it with me. I think it took me about four months before I got up enough courage to make love with her.” Bette gave Tina a crooked grin and wiggled her eyebrows. “And you know me…four months with a person and no ***** is a lifetime!!!” Tina just nodded in agreement and giggled. “Anyway, she had been so patient and kind…” Bette looked directed into Tina’s eyes, making sure that Tina could see the love and the honestly she was feeling. Something told Bette that it was very important that Tina believed what Bette was about to say. “She patiently waited four months T, because she said that she was in love with me, and would wait for as long as I needed. What made Nica so incredible is that she was willing to do that, knowing that even though I loved her very much, that she wasn’t the love of my life. She knew from the start that you could only have one, and that for me that position had already been filled. She stayed with me for 11 years…11 happy years, loving me…knowing that it would never change.” Bette looked down at her food, which was now cold. “That just made me love her even more. I was happy with her, I did love her, and every once in a while, when I would think about you…well I just had to let it go, because I had already broken two hearts before, I wasn’t about to ruin my second chance at love, and I hope…no I know that Nica always felt loved by me…I can only pray that she never felt less than because she wasn’t.” Bette looked back out the window and whispered. “If she hadn’t died, I would have spent the rest of my life just happy to love her and be loved by her.”
Bette took a deep breath and looked over at Tina to see her reaction. She had hesitated at first to share that with Tina, but only for an instant. She wanted Tina to know how she felt about her and their relationship. She wanted Tina to know that even though 15 years had gone by and they had both loved and been happy with other people…that Tina always had been, and always would be, the one.

Tina was overwhelmed listening to Bette. She heard loud and clear what Bette had just said, and it touched her heart to know that they had both had the same experience in the past years. Tina had loved Dan very much, and had been happy with him. But, he was not the love of her life, and a part of her had always felt guilty, because like Nica, he had known that he could never be that for Tina.

Tina looked over at Bette and couldn’t help but give her a loving smile. “Thank you Bette, for sharing that with me.”

“Your welcome Tina. Now…I want to hear about you. Tell me all about your children.”

“I will Bette, but first…tell me about Milaine. She’s beautiful and sweet, and she obviously loves you very much.”

At the mention of Milaine, Bette started to glow with a Mother’s love…and of course, a Mother’s pride. “Nica and I decided that we wanted to share our lives with a child. She was willing to get pregnant, but it wasn’t her first choice, and to be honest, I couldn’t have handled it. We talked about different options, but I just couldn’t see having a baby as one of those options.” Bette looked at Tina and her eyes filled with tears. “I know that when we lost our baby Tina, that I didn’t grieve the way everyone expected me to, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t devastated. Having a baby with you was something I wanted more than anything. I named my gallery after our baby. I guess in some way I wanted to acknowledge you and I as a couple, what we had wanted for our future, and I guess to also make amends in a way, for totally discounting your opinion at the time. I remember our conversation in the bedroom and how I totally dismissed the name. I wanted to know that if we ever saw each other again, that you would know that you and I, and what could have been our life together would never be forgotten by me.” Bette took a deep breath and let out a smile laugh. “As you can see, I have changed a lot. Before you couldn’t get me to talk about anything, now I bet you wish you could shut me up!”

“God Bette, no. I love listening to you talk. You can’t imagine how much I have missed talking with you, so take a breath and keep going!” Tina and Bette sat and stared at each other for a moment, both thinking back to what it had been like at the beginning of their relationship. The endless conversations…over the phone, lying in bed, hanging out by the pool.

Bette cleared her throat and took a sip of wine. “Well, we finally decided that we wanted to adopt an older child. Nica had a friend who worked with Social Services who had told her that there were so many children that were stuck in the system, going from foster home to foster home, no body wanting to adopt them because they were older, or a minority. So after many, many conversations, we decided to go ahead. We met Milaine and both instantly fell in love with her. She’d had a horrible childhood, but came out of it with such an inner strength. She was nine years old by the time everything was finalized and she became part of our family. That’s another thing that I loved about Nica. She use to sit with Milaine and show her family albums, pointing out different people and saying…”Now this is your Uncle Kent, or this was your great Aunt Ester. To Nica, to both of us, Milaine is as much a part of our family as Kit is, or Leslie. She has been nothing but a joy, and I can’t tell you how blessed I felt to have that second chance at a family.”

“Well Bette, you and Nica clearly did a wonderful job raising Milaine, and I can see where a lot of those Porter genes have rubbed off on her.”

“Oh God Tina, I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad one.” Both women laughed before Tina blurted out, “Well I think anyone would be proud to posses even a portion of the Porter genes that I see in front of me tonight.”

Bette looked at Tina somewhat shyly. “Thanks T. That’s nice of you to say….Now, please take over this conversation and tell me about your life.”

It was Tinas turn to take a deep breath. “Well, after I left you…”

TBC