Kit was patiently waiting for Alice to bring Tina to the restaurant. They were finally getting together for lunch. It had been weeks since Kit had seen Tina. It had been weeks since all ***** broke loose”weeks since the break up. ‘Who would have known the tremendous rippling repercussions of my baby sisters actions?’ Kit suddenly realized how nervous she is to see Tina. I cant imagine how she is feeling. I just want her to know that Im still here for her despite what happened between her and Bette. I just miss my friend. What the ***** was Bette thinking anyway?

Tina finally arrives. Kit jumps to her feet in sheer delight to see her. Tina walks in shes thinner now and she looks a little tired; but she still looks great under the circumstances.
When Tina got to the table she flashed her beautiful but pained smile as she let herself enjoy Kits warm embrace. She thought seeing Kit would just remind her of Bette but over the years she and Kit had developed their own friendship and she realized shed missed that.

Tina: Alice said hi and that she would call you later. She is off to do research for some new article shes working on. She has been great letting me stay with her.

Kit: I dont want to ask you any stupid questionsbut how are you doing?

Tina: Well Kit I have bad days and worse days. I just cant believe this has happened. Was I foolish to trust her as much as I did?

Kit: No baby, you werent. Bette is the last person anyone would suspect of having an affair. This is so out of character for her. She has to know she messed up.

The way Kit said that, it seems as if she hasnt spoken to Bette Tina thought. Of course I cant ask her if she has, its not my business. Why do I care anyway? Thinking about Bette is a waste of time. I am sure she isnt thinking about me; and if she were, what difference would it make? Was she thinking of me when she was ***** Candace? Kit noticing Tina seem to spiral off into her private thoughts quickly volunteered. I havent spoken to Bette for anything longer than a minute since all this happened. Shes always leaving or running late for a meeting. I dont know if she is really busy or avoiding me.

Tina and Kit didnt mention Bettes name for the rest of their lunch. They enjoyed their time together and Tina actually caught herself laughing a few times.

Kit had finally gotten her license reinstated and was happy to take Tina wherever she needed to go. Tinas car was in the shop and Alice wouldnt be free to pick her up for a while. Though Tina and Kit enjoyed catching up Tina was ready to head back in. Her mood was starting to dim as it often has over the past few weeks. As Kit was taking Tina back to Alices place Tina announced she really had to go to the bathroom. They were near Kits apartment and made a pit stop there. Kit then remembered she wanted to give Tina a book and a copy of a new cd she had been working on. In all the excitement to meet for their lunch Kit had totally forgotten to bring them. Tina quickly makes her way to the bathroom as she yells to Kit that she likes some of the new paintings in her hallway. Kit yells, “there are two in the guest room I know youll love too.”






As Bette is pulling out of the CACs garage she looks down and is reminded she still has Davids letter to give to Kit. She decided she would stop by Kits apartment on her way to her house.

As Tina is still in the bathroom and Kit is frantically looking for the book to give to Tina, Kit heard the sound of keys at the door. Kit was startled as Bette opened the door looking worn and tired she too looked thinner. Her eyes no longer sparkled.

Bette: Oh I didnt mean to scare you Kit. I have something for you.

Kit greets her sister.

Kit: Man where have you been Bette. You rush me off the phone when we do speak. When I leave messages you dont return my calls. I come by youre never there, even late at night.

Bette never looks at her sister. She changes the subject by handing Kit Davids letter explaining. This letter shouldnt be written on a Post-It. I explained to David that you havent been drinking. I am so sorry I should have done it much sooner. I really am sorry. Bettes eyes still avoiding Kits.

Kit: Oh Bette Im glad you told him. Kit said with a relieved but hesitant smile. Still noticing her baby sister had not looked at her. I would have eventually told him. Not that he would have believed me. Melvin has him so brain washed. Getting back to her original subject Kit quizzed Bette, Where have you been especially so late at night, whats going on?

I havent slept in weeks, Bette mumbled. So, I just go running or to the CAC, anywhere but home”I mean the house. I cant say its a home anymore, not now; Bette still avoiding eye contact.

Well I had lunch with Tina today. Bettes expression changed her eyes became excited at the news but only for a moment. Kit was still looking for a reaction that had come and gone so fast she didnt notice it all. Bette did you hear me? Of course I heard you Bette shot back. Kit asked angrily, Well dont you want to know how she is, where she is”dont you even care?

It wasnt lost on Kit that Tina was still there. It was just that Bette usually confident, usually bold and unashamed who would normally have something to say was vacant. There was nothing there and that pissed Kit off. She needed to know what the ***** Bette was thinking. What had she been thinking to jeopardize a seemingly perfect relationship with the one person who loved her completely, unconditionally, and without reservation?

Bette finally looked up at Kit. Her words came out slowly and deliberately —Of course I care, but I wasnt very careful with her heart so I dont deserve to say her name, to think of her, or to wonder how she is. I know I fucked up and I dont know how or why. I betrayed her and myself. You know I dont even want to be with Candace its something that happened that never should have. I hate myself for doing something so tragically stupid and hurtful to the one person I love and the one person who loved me. I deserve to rot in this *****.”

Now Kit felt the pain her sister felt, and she saw the vacancy she had mistaken for carelessness was indeed the result of the kind of unforgiving pain that one can only inflict on ones self.

Bette stood there and cried long and hard until her blouse was damp with tears. Kit tried to comfort her to no avail. Bette wouldnt let her she avoided her embrace and finally managed to quiet herself. Then she calmly said, Ive never belonged to anyone before. I never felt quite like I had a home until Tina. I know we were together for a long timebut not long enough; she seemed to interrupt her own thought. I know I was happy and God knows I hope she was. But Kit I sabotaged it and I dont know why. I dont know how it happened. I thought I was immune -this kind of betrayal was out of the question but here I am, a cheater, alone. Ive ruined her life and my life and theres nothing left”nothing. As Bette tearfully turned to leave Tina walked out into the living room. She heard it all. She saw the tears and the undeniable pain. She wanted to comfort her. Then she thought, but wasnt I the one who was wronged? Her next thought as she looked at her only true love was does that even matter now? “she finds some fortitude; ‘it has to, I cant be so forgiving. I wouldnt be able to trust her again.’

Tina said, “Hello”. Bette turned and saw Tina, beautiful, quiet, and still. Not knowing what to say or do Bette stood there exposed totally emotionally naked, vulnerable, and lost. Tina was her compass and without her going through life seemed aimless. She would be an outcast and wander throughout life alone. The difference is now she knows what it is like to belong to someone. And Bette knows all too well that having something and losing it is far worse than never having it at all.

Bette could barely stand to look at Tina. And though Bette had cried and had a mini break down of sorts Tina still saw her beauty. The fact that she was in pain, though Tina thought that was what she wanted; it caused her heart to break even more, if that were possible. Bette quickly gave Kit a look as if to say why didnt you tell me and then she said, I I have to go. Tina quickly moved towards the door and said, No Bette, we are going to talk.

TBC