Bette hesitates at the door really wanting to just leave. Bette knows she owes Tina anything she wants at this point. So, if Tina wants to talk Bette wont, cant refuse her.

Now that Tina has Bettes attention she doesnt know where to begin. She is heartbroken and angry; but right now at this moment, she is just overwhelmingly sad that she just cant be in the womans arms that she loves. Tina stands there wishing this was just a nightmare and that when she awakens her unbreakable bond will still be intact. But the harsh reality that this is her life looms as she looks at Bette who seems totally bare.

Before either of them can speak Kit blurts, II have some errands to run! She pecks them both on their cheeks as she quickly leaves the apartment praying they can some how fix this.

Tina timidly asks Bette to sit down. She reluctantly sat in an oversized chair while Tina sat on the sofa. Bette finally looked directly at Tina and her heart began to physically ache. She hadnt seen Tina since that night. Tina searches Bettes eyes and Bette quickly looks away.

Tina: The last time I saw you, you were ripping off my clothes and now you dont want to even look at me?

Bette was so disgusted with her behavior -all of her behavior the days before that night and that night with Tina; her last night with Tina, last night. God, the idea of that stings Bette to the core.

Bette: Winces at the mention of that awful night and the idea that was their last night she finally responds, Tina I was desperate to show youshow you that I loved you despite what had happened. I never wanted to make love to you like that. I dont even consider that making love it was a sheer act of desperation to show you I still love you, need you, and want you; in spite of all the damage Ive done.

Tina: Bette did you really think that would make it all better?

Bette: No, Tina I didnt. But I did know it seemed that my life depended on me trying something. I had to do something.

Tina: The sad thing is I needed to connect to you too. But the truth is the connection, our connection was broken the moment you slept with her Bette. The thought of you with her practically kills me. Bette, I honestly wanted to see you in as much pain as Ive been in. I somehow thought it would ease my heartache. But seeing you here like this just breaks my heart even more. I didnt think that was possible. Tinas eyes fill with tears as she refuses to cry over Bettes pain”thats not her place, not anymore.

Tinas words hit Bettes heart to its core. Tina still cared, still loved her and that made Bette more aware that she didnt deserve her. Bette felt the tears well up in her eyes and Tina looked pained to see the wave of emotion overtake Bette.

Tina instinctively moved towards the end of the sofa closest to Bette she really did want to hold her.

Tina thinks, Why am I so damn weak? Why does she have this power over me? The one thing I hate about myself is the love I have for her. She was so careless with my heart why does she still own it, why does she still own me?

Bette backed away when Tina neared she just wanted to leave she felt she didnt have anything good to offer Tina and ever since the affair she wondered if she ever did. Bette knows that she loves Tina but she doubted she was ever equipped to love her the way she deserves to be loved. Bette saw the disappointment in Tinas eyes when she backed away and softly said, Sorry.

Tina: Sorry, sorry for what? Having the affair, backing away, or ruining our lives? Tina yelled angrily.

Bette: I am sorry for all of it.

Tina: Bette, I just need to know how this happened please help me to understand.

Bette: Tina I really dont know how this happened. I know it wasnt your fault. Any problems we may have had were just that, our problems. Problems we could have addressed together. I was the ***** who allowed something outside of us to destroy us. For that alone I deserve to live in this ***** I created.

Tina: Maybe Bette, but we are both living in a *****. Whats worse is we are both in *****”alone and I didnt have a say in this at all. I really need for you to try to explain to me why.

Bette sat quietly for a few moments and finally spoke. Tina I guess I have always been a go-getter. The moment I saw you I knew I wanted you. Of course a relationship cant be built on physical attraction alone, not if you want it to last. The more I got to know you I was amazed by you. You were, are much more than just a beautiful face. Our relationship blossomed interest and attraction grew into love, true love. And we built this life together our life. I had put in the work to make our relationship work, to make it happy, loving, and secure. And the work never felt like a job, or if it was a job, it was a job I loved, the kind that you cant wait until Monday arrives. Tina caught herself smiling at the analogy she too remembered their relationship during that time. God it was good and she wanted that back. Bette caught a glimpse of Tinas smile and it made her smile – a little. Bette continued, her attempt at trying to explain. See Tina I forgot that what I did to get you, I had to continue to do to keep you. Bette was trying hard to find the words to explain. She had no defense she would never try to defend the indefensible. She didnt want to make excuses either so, for the first time she was talking this through, trying to make it make sense in her own mind. She begin again, When I noticed I had started taking you for granted I tried to spend more time with you, but at times it seemed you would rather be other places, the gym out with Alice and Shane.

Tina thought about what Bette was saying and it did make sense she struggled with wanting to maintain her independence, often at the times when they needed to reconnect. But if that caused Bette to be unfaithful their bond wasnt nearly as strong as either thought. Bette quickly added, Thats not what made me cheat. Honestly, I dont know what made me, other than the fact she wanted me when I needed to be wanted.

Tina turned red as she yelled, Bette Ive always wanted you, always

Bette interrupted, Tina, no, no, dont misunderstand me. That was our problem. We were so out of synch that you and I both felt alone or at least lonely. I remember when you told me you felt so special and loved by me but lately you hadnt felt that and you were trying not to get scared. I didnt say anything. I couldnt. I knew that all the work I used to put in on the job I loved had stopped. Now I know looking back if I had never taken you for granted if I had been taking care of home I wouldnt have had the energy or the interest to let Candace get close. Believe me Tina I hate myself for doing this to you, to us. I know I will never know that happiness again. Bette started to quietly weep, and she mumbled inaudibly, I am sure I would be better off dead.

Tina didnt get all of Bettes last comment she just sat there taking it all in, thinking I could have done a few things differently too.

Bette looked defeated and Tina didnt know what to say they sat there in silence. Tina leaned over and wiped Bettes tears from her face. Tina began to cry too. It was so apparent that there was still so much love there, but would that be enough?

Tina: Bette seven years, seven years and this. I have heard everything youve said and you are so right there were problems and we were working on them going to counseling with Dan Foxworthy. I am just concerned that you having an affair has just rocked the foundation to the point we may not have anything to stand on.

Bette: Tina I love you so much. Believe me I want nothing more than to just go back to the way things were before the affair, before I started taking you for granted. I would love to just hold you and make love to you right now for us to be us”the best of us all over again. I just dont know how to make that happen and I think it would be asking you too much to even consider it.

Tina: Looking a little puzzled, Consider what Bette, forgiving you? You dont want me to forgive you? You can just live like this knowing thatTina began to hate herself as the words left her lips, I still love you and that we had a happy life before you dont even want to try again.

Bette: Tina I would love to try again but its not fair to ask you for another chance. It wouldnt be right.

Tina: You know what Bette dont start talking about whats fair and right now. It wasnt fair or right that you had the affair. You still have to have all the control even when your lack of control destroyed this relationship. Bette you never cease to amaze me. I never thought you would do anything like this to me”cheat, but if in my wildest imagination I could see it; the one thing you would do to make it right is to fight for us. Bette Porter you are a coward.

Tina quickly got up and went outside Kit was walking up the pathway with an expectant grin hoping they had managed to at least make some progress towards a reconciliation. All her hopes were dashed as Tina asked her with tears in her eyes to take her to Alices.

As Bette walked out and passed Kit and Tina she took Tina by the hand and asked Is there any way you would really consider forgiving me? T because if you could I would want that more than life. Tina thought, she called me T, she called me T. I have missed that. I have missed her, but she has to fight for me if she really wants me back Tina didnt say anything she just looked at Bettes hand holding hers and then said, Bette think about what you want and figure it out for yourself you know what we had and only you know if its worth the effort to try to get that back. She squeezed Bettes hand and let go of it as she walked to Kits car. Tina hoped that Bette would fight for them she all but told her she would be there by telling her she still loved her.

************************

Tina was back at Alices alone playing the events of the day in her head. She was glad she had seen Bette but hated to know she was hurting just as much as she was. Damn whatever happens between us it will take a lot of time and a lot of effort. I called Bette a coward but am I up for the task at hand?


As Bette pulled up to her house she sees Shanes truck. Outside of Tina, Shane was the last person she wanted to talk to. But she had to stop avoiding things. It kind of stung when Tina called Bette a coward but there may have been some truth in it, a lot of truth.

Porter why are you hiding from me? You know I cant be ignored, Shane asked.

Bette: Shane I havent known what to say to you about any of this.

Shane: Any of what? Shane looks at Bette, Sweetie you look absolutely awful. I have to admit I have been so pissed and disappointed I didnt even consider that you were going through your private *****, of your own making. I have been checking in on Tina trying to console her but Bette I am so pissed at you. She says, pulling her in for a hug she senses that she needs.

Bette lets herself exhale in Shanes embrace. “Thanks Shane I needed that. I heard things went really bad with your Hollywood wife. How are you holding up?”

Shane just looks at Bette, Thats not what I’m here to talk about but believe me I appreciate the concern.

Shane: Okay back to the subject at hand. I know what went down with you and Tina. I have to admit, it has kind of fucked me up really badly. I dont know how or why it happened. You know, I know you are human and everyone makes mistakes.But Bette, this isnt a Bette mistake. This was so out of your character I thought maybe you suffered an attack from some sort of mental illness. You are the one I look to for guidance on matters of the heart and I had never questioned your integrity before. Tell me you are going to fix this.

Bette: Whoa Shane look I messed up really badly and I know that. I just saw Tina and she is hurting so much. I know she loves me and God knows I love her but I dont know what to do.

Shane: Look, if there is anything you can do Porter; do it. I see how messed up you are. You have to fight for your woman if you want her back. Tina is a great catch and she wont be single for long. She is heartbroken right now too. Some people prey on that situation, and no I dont mean me. Bette, okay you are hurt and disappointed in yourself, but that doesnt have to be the end. You need to use those negative feelings. Remember them so that you dont have to feel them again, and start building a bridge back to your woman. Bette, Tina is still your woman but you have to be woman enough to own up to your mistakes and to deal with them head on. What you two have is too special to let your pride or your fear or your doubt destroy it. I know if you guys are able to get past this you really will be stronger for it.

Bette: Thanks Shane. You dont say much but when you do its always the right thing. Please continue to look in on Tina. I am going to call her. I love her so much it hurts. Bette began to cry.

Shane pulled Bette once more into her embrace and sat there with her friend on the porch until Bette somehow found the strength to make the call she needed to make.


Shane was gone now. Bette is staring at the phone and with one deep breath she dials Alices number and Tina picked up.

Bette: Hello Tina, please dont hang up on me. I just wanted to say that with all of my heart I love you and I am going to fight for us as if my life depends on it; because it does. Our life depends on it. I cant imagine trying to go through life without your love. Now that I have had it and I dont want to love anyone who isnt you. Please try to understand that I need you in my life.

Tina: Bette thats what I need to hear. This is the Bette I know and yes, love.

Bette: Hearing you say that I wish you were here with me. I really do miss you so much T.

Tina: Lets take this slow and see if we can reconcile. Of course I hope so but you and I
know a lot of damage was done.

Bette: You and I both know that there is a lot more good than bad too Tina, dont we?

Tina: Well thats what we have to find out. Good night Bette I will talk to you soon.

TBC