BETTE

Bette was going absolutely crazy. It had been four days since she had e-mailed Tina, and Tina had yet to respond. It had been the longest four days of Bette’s life. She was terrified that Tina wasn’t responding, because she simply didn’t want to, or that she had hurt Tina so badly, that Tina just didn’t have it in her to respond.

Bette knew that this e-mailing thing was a bad idea. She needed to be in front of Tina when she talked to her. She needed to at least be able to talk to her on the phone, so Tina could hear her voice…hear the love and sincerity that Bette felt. *****, *****, *****!! What was she going to do? She couldn’t lose Tina now. Not with all the hope they had both felt after her visit.

If Bette would admit to it, she would know that her feelings were also hurt. She had poured herself into that e-mail, trying to be completely honest with Tina. It hurt her that by this lack of response that maybe Tina hadn’t believed her. She had known the part that said she still loved Candace would hurt, but it was the truth. Bette still loved Alice, and would always have a soft spot in her heart for her ex-lover, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be with her. Bette felt the same way about Candace. She really was over her, but just didn’t know how to explain that to Tina.

Bette picked up the phone to call Alice, hoping that maybe she knew why Tina hadn’t responded to her.

“Hey Al.”

“Hey Bette, how’s life in the big city?”

“To be honest, it sucks at this particular moment. Have you heard from Tina this week?”

Alice hesitated for a moment. “Are you sure you don’t want to start out with some small talk…like, aren’t we having wonderful weather, or something like that.”

Bette blew out a breath of air. “I’m sure Alice. It has been four days since I poured my heart out to Tina, asking her if it was Ok for me to keep going with the e-mails…but she hasn’t answered yet. Do you know what’s going on?”

Alice wanted her two good friends to find their way back to each other more than anything, but she didn’t want to get into the middle of that process. “Look Bette. Tina’s hurting. She needs some time to sort out how she feels, ya know? She doesn’t want to answer you with a knee jerk reaction, so she is taking her time…thinking it through. I know this waiting must be miserable for you, but you have to let her respond to you on her own time. Ok?”

Bette knew that Alice was right, but it didn’t make her feel one ounce better. “Ok, but…”

“No butts Bette. Just remember that this is a good thing, her taking her time. If it was really bad, you would have known by now.”

Bette nodded her head, then realized Alice couldn’t see her. “Right…Ok…I gotta go Alice. Thanks!”

“Anytime Bette…later.”

Bette hung up the phone, not knowing what to do. She decided that rather than drive both James and herself crazy, she would go shopping. That was something she would enjoy, and it would consume several hours of her day as well.


TINA

Tina was going absolutely crazy. It had been four days since Bette e-mailed her, and she had yet to respond. She had been trying to sort through all her feelings, so that she could respond in a way that was healthy, concise and honest. She didn’t want to just start writing only to have her feelings splatter all over the page.

At this moment, she was so thankful that she was back in Vancouver. Had Bette said those things to her about why she was in love with her in person, Tina had no doubts that she would have jumped into Bette’s arms and back into their bed…’I mean her bed.’ This is why she wanted to communicate through e-mails, so she could have more time to process before responding. But now it had been four days, and she knew that Bette must be going crazy with worry. In fact, she was surprised Bette hadn’t called. Maybe, she really has changed…

Tina grabbed a bottle of water and a bag of sunflower seeds and sat down in front of her computer. Sucking and chewing on sunflower seeds, somehow helped her thought process…or so she thought.

Dear Bette,

Thank you for the wonderful things you said to me in your e-mail. I am sorry it took me so long to sit down and write to you. I have to admit to procrastinating, because to be honest, I still am not sure what I feel about your admissions concerning Candace.

I don’t know if I should be flattered that you loved me so much, that you were looking for someone with my same qualities…or if I should be furious because you were a coward and just wanted to experience the good times and not deal with the bad. Although, I guess you are dealing with the bad now…of course, the angry part of me wants to remind you that I have a six month head start on you as far as the bad times are concerned. It is going to take some time for me to let go of Candace. I feel like a part of her will always be with us…I’m not sure what to do with that. Maybe in time I can turn it into a positive, but right now…it is so not.

I am going to make this short, since I am still trying to absorb everything…

You wanted to know if you should keep going with the e-mails. Baby, I could feel your honesty in your words. I could feel you pouring yourself into that letter. Don’t give yourself such a hard time…you are doing just fine. Don’t worry about how I am going to react. JUST BE HONEST. Please keep writing…

Love,

Tina

PS I have gone out to lunch and/or coffee with Elaine Brown (calm down Bette, she is just a friend) a couple of times this week. It has been nice having someone to bounce things off of. Of course she doesn’t have the wicked sense of humor that Alice has, but her advise is just as wise. By the way…she thought your idea to have your dream put on canvas was a brilliant idea. I figured you would like hearing that. Hugs Baby…