Bette thought about getting up and going to see if she could find Tina but she decided that she shouldnt. She knew that she had laid a lot of painful information on Tina in the last few minutes and that Tina needed some time alone to deal with it or at least that is what she was praying for. Tina didnt know how long she sat there crying before her tears finally subsided and she got her emotions in check. Hearing everything that Bette had told her was very painful but she knew that she shouldnt have walked out. She knew that she should have stayed in the cabin, but if she had she would have broken down in front of Bette and she didnt think she could handle that. She got up and slowly made her way back to the cabin and went inside where she found Bette lying back on the sofa with her eyes closed. For a moment she thought that Bette might be sleeping but Bette opened her eyes and looked up at her.

Im glad you came back Bette said softly.

Im sorry. I shouldnt have walked out like that Tina said. I just

Its okay Bette said interrupting Tina. I figured out you just needed some time to clear your head and to deal with what I told you. Tina I know how hard this is for you.

So hard Tina said her voice filled with emotion.

Im sorry Bette said softly. You dont know how grateful I am that you are even willing to give us a chance.

Bette, I am doing this as much for me as I am for you Tina said. The rest of my life depends on the outcome of this and I have to try and make sure that I can live with my decision when I make it. I have to be perfectly honest in the fact, that I love you and I probably always will but I dont know if we can be together anymore. I have to figure out if I can live with what you have done and even if I can, we may have to face the reality that we shouldnt be together anymore. Maybe you need more than I could ever give you.

Tina Bette said. I

Bette Tina said interrupting. You were right before when you said that we did this to us because it takes two to make or break a relationship. Apparently you werent getting what you needed from me to make you happy. I knew that something was wrong and I started concentrating on myself rather than pushing you and trying to force you to open up to me.

Tina, if you had pushed, I probably would have just gotten angry and shut down more quickly Bette said. I know I have a problem with trying to control every situation in my life and I have to learn that I cant always do that.

Bette Tina said. All of the things you said you were dealing with. How could I live with you and be with you and not know a lot of those things?

Because I hid them from you Bette said. Kit told me many months ago that I let you see what I want you to see and she was right. I thought I had to be the strong one and I couldnt let you see me being weak.

Bette Tina said. You didnt always have to be the strong one in the relationship. I would have helped you try to deal with what you were feeling.

Tina I just felt I had to be the strong one Bette said. Mostly because that is just part of my genetic makeup but I especially felt that way after you quit work and I became the sole supporter and felt you becoming dependent on me. I am not saying that to hurt you it is just how I felt. It just seemed that things started to change after we decided to have a baby and you quit work.

Bette Tina said. Did I push you in to having a baby? Is that what this whole thing has been about? You just went along with having a baby because it is what I wanted.

Yes. No. Bette said softly.

Tina took a deep breath upon hearing Bette say yes and then no and she struggled to keep her emotions in check before she reacted to what Bette had said.

Bette, which is it? Tina asked sadly. I never meant to push you in to doing something you didnt want. I thought we both wanted to have a family. God maybe I dont

Its no Bette said interrupting Tina. I wanted to have a baby too. Its just that I was scared of things changing drastically and scared of being parent. Tina you have to believe me that I do want to have a family with you. I do. I want to have a baby with you and someday, if we can work this out, I hope we will. Im not saying I still wont be scared but you would be there to hold my hand and reassure me because this time you would know I was scared.

Bette you should have told me you felt that way Tina said relieved to hear Bettes answer.

I know I should have Bette said. I just thought I could deal with it on my own and overcome it and then everything started piling in on top of it. I was so happy when I found out you were pregnant but I was scared too. And Bette paused for a moment as if to find the right words to continue when we lost our baby it broke my heart. I loved him from the moment I found out about him.

I know you loved him Tina said as tears ran down her face.

Tina, Im sorry I wasnt there for you when you found out Bette said as a tear slowly trickled down her cheek. I should have been there with you! I was running late and got held up by Fae Buckley confronting me. If that ***** had left me alone I would have been there with you.

Bette you couldnt help it that she confronted you and it wouldnt have changed the outcome Tina said softly.

How can you be so understanding Bette asked quietly and then she looked up in to Tinas eyes and said. You dont need to answer that. Its just the kind of person you are and one of the many reasons I love you. Our son would have been lucky to have you for his mother.

Tina began to cry in earnest upon hearing Bettes words and Bette got up and put her arms around Tina and held her close.

T Im sorry we didnt grieve for our son together Bette said as she had tears flowing down her cheeks. We should have held each other and cried together but I was just trying to be strong for you and hiding my grief. Im so sorry.

I loved him so much Tina cried softly.

Baby I know you did Bette said her voice full of emotion. I loved him too. He will always be with us in our hearts.

Always Tina said as she cried a little harder.

They stood there finally crying together for the loss of their baby. Bette held Tina and tried to comfort her. She pulled back a little and kissed Tina on her temple as she was murmuring its okay and then she kissed her on the forehead and then moved to her cheek and before she could stop her self she kissed Tina on the mouth. Bette pulled back from the kiss and looked in to Tinas eyes. They stood there staring at each other for only a moment before they grabbed for each other and began kissing each other with a passion that surprised them both. They began devouring each others mouths and pulling at each others clothes. You would have thought that they hadnt made love in months let alone last night. They finally managed to get all of their clothes off as Bette pulled them over to the bear skin rug in the living room where they had been talking. They were kissing, tongues darting in and out and they were touching each other all over. Bette managed to get them down on the rug before they reached out to touch each other intimately. It was raw passion between them as they stroked each other and set a rhythm that soon had them climaxing together. Afterwards they lay there trying to catch their breath and waiting for their heart rates to return normal but not saying a word. After several minutes Tina got up and went to retrieve her clothes.

That should not have happened Tina said as she was berating herself for letting it happen.

Bette was a little hurt at Tinas words but she expressed what she was feeling.

Yes it should have Bette said quietly. Tina, dont you see we are meant to be together?

Bette Tina said. You are such a contradiction. If you really feel this way how could you have done it.

Tina, I told you I was lost and hiding from my problems Bette said. I did something stupid and I will regret it for the rest of my life.

Tina finished getting dressed and she gathered up Bettes clothes and handed them to her.

Bette, will you please get dressed Tina said as she walked towards the kitchen. I need a break. My head is hurting and I really need to eat something even though my stomach is saying no. I promise we will talk later.

Bette got up and got dressed and headed in to the kitchen to check on Tina. She found her sitting at the table eating some of the fruit they had brought with them. She picked up a banana, peeled it and sat down at the table with Tina while she ate it.

T I know you said you needed a break Bette said.

Please Bette Tina said. I just dont think I can deal with any more discussion right now.

I understand Bette said. I was going to ask you if you would like to take a drive to see some of the scenery. You know to take your mind of things for a little while and it might relax you. Or would that be too awkward?

It might do me some good and help clear my head Tina said. I think I can deal with it if you can.

I can Bette said. Would you like to go and get some real food before we take that drive? You really should be taking care of yourself.

Tina knew that normally she would have thought it was thoughtful that Bette was worrying about her taking care of herself but at the moment it just irritated her.

Bette Tina said irritably. Youre not my mother

No, but I love you and want to make sure you are okay Bette said.

Bette, you dont have to keep telling me you love me Tina said.

Yes I do Bette said. I have to keep saying it until you believe it and know that you cant live without hearing it.

TBC