Marinas words hung in the air; their stinging truth taking a moment to sink into the women. For one of them though, the words were not heard, could not be accepted and she lashes out in her self-loathing.

So, thats what you call it, ambition? I call it lust, selfish, self-serving lust. As for the goal, youve always reached your goal Marina, no matter who you destroyed along the way. Bettes delivery is targeted with careful malicious aim of deadly intent, So I guess that makes us both right. Its not in having ambition, or lust in your case, but its the way in which you pursue it that you descend into *****.

Marina keeps her composure, taking in a soft breath as she sets her wineglass graciously to the linen. Well ladies, I hope you enjoy your evening, exhaling their scorn, politely condemning them to their desolate reunion as she stands, Good night. Her soft adorning smile and her slow proud stride declares her unaffected, mocking to their embittered friendships.

As Tina watches Marina disappear from the room, she fumbles with the chair, stumbling over the shame she had tried so desperately to place aside and out of sight, now lying in the open for all to see, Are you listening to yourself? Do you know who you just described? Tina steps away from the table, turning her back on them. She glances around the room, contemplating leaving, but instead steps to the sideboard and pores herself a scotch.

Kit cannot believe the anger the hate with which her baby sister attacked Marina. The self-loathing contained in her words, worn like an overcoat, protecting and shielding her from any happiness that may rain in her direction, Bette! Why

Seemingly unaware of the turmoil around her, Jenny presses her fingers to her forehead and in a low whispered declaration, *****. Kit, muted by the sorely spat tone, turns to unwittingly witness the first revelation.

I understand. I finally understand. Jenny eyes are fixed to the center of the table, You dont know her. Invincible certainty turns its eyes on them, blinds lifting, witnessing the treachery firsthand and with absolute clarity, Youve never known her. You see her soft undaunted smiles and think you know but you dont.

As Jenny stands to leave, so does Shane, but she is suspended by Jennys piercing eyes as the words cut deep into her soul, and were the worst of all. Jenny had grown accustom to having Shane at her side, but on this vividly clear night, she neither wanted nor needed anyone to protect or defend her and she turns to quickly leave the room leaving Shane gaping at her back.

Wits frayed and jagged, Shane can no longer withstand the tension. Her usual dulling medicine had worn thin its protective shield. With eyes averted from those still remaining, her fingers rolled the miniature vial in her pocket, I, uh need to visit the ladies room. She steps hastily towards the door and into the hallway, knowing, without Jenny, there will be no one to scold her of the unholy embrace she clings to in her demoralizing journey of self-destruction. At the bathroom door she pauses, glancing down the empty hallway, longing for the absent banter of Jenny chastising her abusive intake.

What the ***** does she mean, we dont know her. Weve known Marina a lot longer than she has. We were there when she opened up The Planet, not Jenny. Alice cannot contain the long-harbored buried resentment; the way Marina had coolly stepped into her conversation with Jenny that first night at Bette and Tinas party nor the fact that Jennys infatuation with Marina had wiped Alices existence from Jennys mind. Shes the one that chose Marina. Shes the one who couldnt see past her own rosy colored glasses ***** little flake, she deserves what she got.

Al! Thats mean. First of all, Jennys sweet.. Dana pauses as her eyes travel to Jennys empty chair. Remembering their one desperately clumsy encounter, Dana can relate to the child-like dark haired girl, her need to belong and to be loved. Young, nave, and not very polished but sweet. We were all there for lunch that day at the Planet and we could have warned her but we didnt.

I agree with you Alice, Jenny is way off center, exceedingly self-serving. Bette has never forgotten the devastated Tim that night they sat talking on the steps, the pain and hurt in his eyes, as he realized the enormity of Jennys indiscretions.

Again, Tina is dumbfounded as Bettes words wash over her. She has said it a second time and about a second person, ever denying her self-describing jabs, I thought you were starting to understand, but after tonight, I know now you dont. Tina stomps from the room with Bette rushing after her.

Alice watches Bette chase Tina from the room, and the anger in her voice is now tinged with despair as she turns to Dana, I tried offering her ideas for her writing, ways she could network, but she ignored me..my attempts at friendship. After she met Marina, she never had more than two words to say to me.

Remembering how her repeated attempts went unnoticed by Jenny, as if she was invisible in Marinas shadow, Alices determination to make Dana see it her way spurs her words, lacing them once again with anger. Did you know I caught them in Marinas office one night. Tim was out front at the bar looking for Jenny. I helped her, kept Tim from finding out. She never even thanked me. Shes rude and self-centered. Like I said, she deserves what she got.

Dana sighs, disgusted with the blinders Alice seems to be wearing. What were we Al, when we sat and watched? When Francesca went for her, and we watched Marina be the obedient little slave, knowing shed leave Jenny to hang out to dry. Were not innocent bystanders, we were eager to watch the drama play out, as if we deserved to be entertained. Dana stands and steps to the door, where she pauses to glance back at her best friend, the woman she so desperately missed. wanna know who I dont like us I dont like us.

Alice sat for a moment with her head lying heavy in her hand, I dont understand this whole mess. How we all got so screwed up. How we lost each other. At dinner, I was beginning to hope that whoever did this could make it work.

Kit pats her back softly assuring, little one, no one person can make this work. Its gonna take all of us and a whole lotta patience, with ourselves and with each other. We just gotta stop seeing things with our eyes and start seeing them with our hearts.

Alice takes in a deep haggard breath, Im gonna go to bed, Kit, you commin?

Kit gives her a weak smile and shakes her head, No, Im gonna just sit here awhile.

*****************

Shane fumbles with the vial, dipping the tiny spoon for a second round, lifting it slowly to an already powdered nostril. The one true friend that is ever faithful to her, never far from her reach, never failing to ease her pain. Eyes close rising slowly up and back under the protective caress of her eyelids as the second set of warm numbing waves wash over her.

What the ***** are you doing? Alice demands.

Shanes response is slow and slurred, man just a little to relax..you know, her eyes float in and out of awareness.

Alices words are barely audible, barely discernable to her, God, Shane, will you ever learn?

Shanes fingers sluggishly brush at the remaining traces of white as she tries to hide the crowning proof from Alice. The familiar tingling captures her focus and Shane, no longer aware of anything except the velvet skin trailing across her face, is lost in the clinch of her powdered lover. Her hand her arm slide slowly over her nose progressing across her forehead left to right and back again. As fingers begin to trail inside their midst, the strands of hair respond with a caress, inviting her hand to linger inside their soothing embrace.

Alice grabs Shanes arm, forcing it down and roughly snaps her around so they are face to face, What in the ***** has happened to you?

Shane is taken by surprise, her mind trying hard to fathom the shape floating in front of her, Why are you doing this to yourself? Alices words are expunged into nothingness as rolling eyes announce the fragile worn bodys descent to the ground.

*****************

Marina fled their accusations, going immediately to the safe isolation of her room. She did not need this, she thought, as she angrily threw her things into her bag. As much as she misses these women and longs to see their circle repaired, she will not be their whipping boy; their anger and pain, all turned on her combined with the nearness of Jenny, are more than she can bear. She will leave first thing in the morning.

Marina slams her suitcase shut and falls onto the bed, her breathing still ragged from the exertion and her anger. She lays there in the dark, hoping that sleep will overtake her and silence the hurtful voices that she cannot prevent from playing, over and over in her mind. Damn it, why hadnt she taken a bottle of wine with her when shed left the dining room? She knows, of course why she hadnt. To do anything other than walking out calmly would have exposed her pain; it would have left her wounded soul open for all to see.

Long moments later, Marina sits up, and looks around the empty room. Sleep will not come. Perhaps the gardens shed seen earlier will help settle her; she pulls on her shoes and a few moments later she is welcomed by the cool night air. She inhales deeply, smelling the last fragrant blooms of fall, feeling the crisp air fill her lungs, soothing her. Yes, a short stroll would help exorcise her demons, she thinks, as she steps from the small patio and ventures into the night.

*****************

Perched on a stone bench at the edge of the garden, Marina turns with the slightest of movement, her eyes fixing on the recent addition to the garden, the slender wildflower, the persistent perennial that had blossomed its way into the once well planned, well mapped garden of her life, Its beautiful

Jenny is momentarily startled by the voice, having not seen Marina sitting in the shadows. Unable to allow her eyes to gaze upon Marina for too long, her attentions wander over the valley with the full moon shining down catching on the white and blue flowers illuminating the garden. Unaware it was of her that Marina spoke, she responds, Its so pristine it almost looks painted.

The young woman stands within feet of her, the reflected light providing the painters veil of perfected essence, with a subtle nod of her head, she whispers, yes. With the raven hair banished from the tiny shoulders, Marinas eyes trace the slender neck with her remembrance of loving caresses. Her eyes continue their journey along the familiar curves of this petite body recalling its soft frailty beneath her hands, lingering in the memory of the sweltering heat those tiny hands had radiated inside her with their tender caress.

Like a garden statue, she stands motionless, hesitant to say the long overdue words, uncertain how they will be heard, knowing only that she must say them if there is any hope at redemption. Her voice is small, the words halting, Marina II blamed you for everything The hands now move, slowly like magnets drawn one to the other, as her arms carry the woven fingers and clinched hands to rest on her chest, tucked beneath her chin, the move is at once, protecting and telling. Marina can see the soft green eyes no longer gaze on the moonlit garden. Instead, they retreat inside her thoughts as they shift slowly to the ground.

Steadily Marinas resistance crumbles in Jennys nearness and she rises from the chair, gradually, slowly making her way to her. Oh, that she could take her into her arms, run her fingers through the cropped raven hair, drown in those eyes, and with the touch of her cheek, her lips meld with her once again. Even as her desire grows, shes prepared to receive the painful reproach from this woman; this woman whom shed offered her hand many times only to have it callously slapped away.

Unaware of Marinas closeness, Jenny continues her halting confession, I understand why they want to mend their circle, but I dont understand why were here. I was never really part of their circle. Not until until they used it me to hurt you. Jenny turns to face her and accept her share of the fault that is now undeniably hers.

No longer able to contain the familiar reactions, Marina reaches for Jenny pulling her close; yielding cautiously to this powerful force, this irresistible longing to have her, as her lips tentatively, gently cry out to be heard, delicately demanding this love inside her be understood.

Is this the only language you two speak? with disgust and dread Alice shakes her head at the two, Shanes in trouble, I need your help.

Jenny, at once pained by the interruption yet thankful for it, steps willfully towards her, whats wrong?

Alice rolls her eyes, sneering at the miniature form, Not you. Turning to the larger of two, I need you, someone who can help carry her.

Desire sorely replaced with overwhelming concern, Marina glances quickly at Jenny before stepping past them both, long strides rushing to the rescue of her accuser her forsaken friend. Where is she?