As Bette lay there, the thoughts running through her head were too numerous to count. She felt Tinas steady breathing on her neck, her body rhythmically moving slightly up and down, keeping in time to it.

She knew that she needed to call Alice in hopes of finding what had brought Tina to her in this state, just hoping that she would know.

She knew from Tinas breathing that she was in a deep slumber and that it would take a great deal to wake her from it.

She gently disengaged her body from Tinas, trying to slide out from under hers without waking Tina.

Bette kept her eyes on Tinas face to watch for any sign of wakening, but knew that there would be none. Bette successfully got out from underneath Tina without disturbing her, and stood at the side of the bed, just watching her. She reached down, pulled the covers up to keep her shoulders warm, and gently brushed a stray strand of hair that had fallen across her face, to behind her ear.

Again, the expression on Bettes face was unreadable, as she knew that her emotions were. She was confused and in a mild state of shock at the mornings events. Once again, her world had been turned upside down, but unlike the first time, she was not the driving force behind this most recent turn.

She backed away from the bed, turning to make her way to the door. With one last look at Tina, she walked out, closing the door softly behind her.

She made her way to the kitchen, grabbed a water from the fridge and then went into her office, again, softly closing that door as well. Bette wanted to be sure and put as much distance from Tina and her voice as possible.

She dialed Alices number and waited for her to pick up.


Alice was driving to an appointment that she had with a local DJ that was supposed to be one of the hottest in LA. Normally, she would have been very keyed up for this, but nothing could get her mind off of Tina.

Where the ***** is she? Alice wondered. Tina had literally disappeared off of the face of the earth. Alice had called her on both her cell and home phone, called The Center speaking to Oscar who had not heard from her, and went by her apartment. Her car was there, but Tina was not. How does someone just disappear?

As she was considering all of this, her cell phone started to ring. She quickly grabbed it, hoping that it would be Tina. She looked at the caller ID and saw the 212 prefix. New York she thought. Not knowing what to expect, she hit talk and unsurely said hello.

Hey Al was all Bette said.

BETTE! Oh my God!!! Where the *****, I mean what the *****, I mean *****! I mean I dont know what the ***** I mean!! she ranted as she frantically looked for a place to pull over.

Bette let out a chuckle as she knew that Alice was in a total state, Of what? she thought. In a total state of what the ***** she guessed.

How are you doing?

Are you ***** serious? After all of this time, that is all you have to say? How are you doing? Alice screamed incredulously.

Uh, what would you rather I say? Isnt that the way most normal conversations start out? Bette teasingly asked.

There is nothing normal about this conversation, and you ***** know that Alice replied.

Bette, turning serious, said sadly, I know that Al.

Is she there? asked Alice.

Yes came Bettes reply.

Oh, thank God.

What happened, Al?

She fell apart Bette.

I can see that Al. I am asking what happened?

I Alice sputtered, the letter.

What letter?

The letter that you sent me.

Al, are you trying to tell me that Tina saw the letter?

Not only saw it, but read it she said with resignation in her voice.

Oh Bette whispered, now understanding.

Bette, I swear to God that I did not show it to her, well not intentionally that is. I was doing as you asked and was sharing it with the girls, and she just walked up.

Uh huh came Bettes response, encouraging her to continue.

Well, I had just finished reading it and the girls, and I she emphasized, were so caught up by what you had said, that we didnt see her walk up.

OK- continue said Bette.

Well, she asked us what was going on as she could see that we were all very upset, and I told her nothing. That is all that I could manage to come up with actually. It was kind of a lame response. Alice admitted. Anyway, Tina didnt buy it for a second, and then she saw your letter that I was still holding, recognized your handwriting, and I knew that it was over from there. I knew that there was no way after she saw that it was from you, that I was going to be able to keep it away from her.

And? Bette said.

Since I knew that I had no choice, I asked her if we could at least go outside which she agreed to. We sat down at a table, I gave her the letter, and she read it.

Bette remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

She freaked Bette. I dont know what else to call it, or how else to describe it.

As Alice heard nothing from Bette, she continued.

I have never seen anything or anyone in that state, Bette. Her eyes were wild. She was like a frightened, cornered animal, terrified of everything and everyone around her. All she wanted to do was leave. You could see that the only thing that was allowing her to function was the knowledge that she had to leave. she then added, Leave to get to you I would say from the looks of it.

Bette felt the tears running down her face and did nothing to either stop them or brush them away. She let out a pained sigh and said with a weak voice, She was never meant to see that letter, Al. It was not intended for her.

Bette, I know Alice quickly forced out, but I did not know what to do. Please dont be mad, she added.

Mad? Al, anger is the farthest thing from my mind at this point.

So, what is the closest thing to your mind at this point? Alice asked quietly.

Honestly, I dont know. I feel horrible that she saw that letter because even though I dont regret the words and what I said, I do regret the manner that she had to hear them. I feel as if I have screwed up all over again.

Bette began Alice, you so did not ***** up. What you said was both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. It clearly was the wake up call that T needed, intended or not.

Maybe, but it is not the way that I would have chosen to do it she said sadly.

I get that, but it is what is. You now have to move forward and deal not only with this, but everything else that has gotten the 2 of you to this point. Alice said somewhat forcefully.

Her tone brought Bette around and she said, Yes, as usual, you are right

Bette, where is Tina now?

She is sleeping.

There, with you? Alice asked.

Of course, here with me.

What are you going to do?

Again Al, honestly I dont know.

You will figure it out. Both of you will figure it out.

Bette, are you there? asked Alice after not hearing anything for a couple of moments.

Yeah, Im here.

Are you OK?

OK? I dont know if that is what I would call it, but I am managing I guess.

Bette, be strong. You need to be strong. Strong for you but mainly strong for Tina.

I know that. I just need to find it, the strength I mean.

You and I both know that you will.

Again, I hope so.

I should go, Bette. I am already late for my interview.

Ok and Al?

Yeah?

Thanks for everything. I meant every word in that note about not knowing if I was always deserving of your friendship, but always thankful for its existence.

Yeah, I know Porter. Will you call me sometime and let me know whats going on?

Of course came Bettes reply.

I will be thinking of the two of you said Alice.

Please do said Bette. And send a little strength out this way as well Bette softly said.

Bette, I dont need to. You already have it. Just find it.

Yeah she whispered. Good bye Al.

Good bye Bette.