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Can You Still Love Me? Ch 8
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I Still Cant
Chapter Eight
Hey T, how was turkey day for you?
Good, you guys do ok.
Yeah, it was nice.
Is she doing ok?
Yeah she is. You know T, maybe you should be asking her yourself.
Al, I cant just yet you know. Were friends in all, but its weird to talk sometimes.
Yeah you two were usually going at it in front of us, Tina could only remember the good times and all the times they were told to go get a room. She missed that.
So is she um talking to she couldnt bring herself to finish it.
Anyone, ***** Tina, you need to get it together and just go to her. You miss her, she misses you like *****, and we miss you both. Besides that you know she would never go for anybody else.
Tina knew she never would, but she herself was trying to find a reason to not feel so guilty about her talking to someone. Al, its not that easy.
Why not T, she made a huge mistake. We all know, its not easy to forgive or forget, but you guys were meant to be. Through and through till the end.
Yeah Shane I used to think so too, then just like that Bette entered the Planet, still uncomfortable sometimes with being so far from her, all she could do was stand and meet Tinas gaze. When Tina met up with hers, the past came back up so easily from her stomach. She ran to let it go once more.
In the bathroom Tina thought she had finally let it all go, but small parts still remained. When she was almost done, she felt her close by.
Tina, are you ok. She couldnt say anything. Tina, do you need anything.
With the nastiest feeling in her mouth she said, I need you to leave,
Why, Tina, why all of a sudden, I thought we were ok for now.
I just cant let it go no matter how hard I try. I want to, but I cant.
She walked over to the sink rinsed her mouth, washed her face and walked back to the table. Bette followed and didnt care who heard her.
Tina, I fucked up ok. All I seem to know lately is that I fucked up. That no matter how many seconds pass on each day, I still love you Alice chimed in,
Bette, I dont think this is this the place, Bette just looked at her and continued.
No matter how hard we both try, we cannot deny the love that lives in between us. Tina, the days without you make it harder to breathe, and waking up and sleeping alone only reminds me of what I have done to us. I dont want to ever forget the pain I have caused you and the heart that you gave me, but I just want to heal it and love it and make this and everything go away so we can just be. Dammit Im trying to give you what you need, but how can I when that very need is me. I cant do this without you and you know that I cant. You are my all, my everything Tina, and Im sorry for everything but please Bette now just pressed up against Tinas back and with everyones eyes on them could only hold her, but not look into her face.
Tina tell me you still want me, need me, most of all love me, T, if only that, please tell me. Feeling Tinas body go a little weaker she replied, I cant Bette,
Why?
Im talking to someone, and as soon as Bette heard the words, someone she let go of her hold on Tina and walked away. Before she reached the door, she grabbed a small vase, looked at it, then as she let out a heartfelt scream, threw it against the wall. Tina sat in her chair lay her head on the table and let her tears fall once more.
Tina, itll be okay. And Shane knew it wouldnt be, after all it was Bette right?
Come Tina, lets just go we need some air ok.
Shane I didnt want to
We know, just I dont know T, itll be okay I promise.
Bette tried not to let Tinas words navigate her life the past few days. The last time they had talked, she remembered that Tina said she didnt have time for that. Bette cursed herself for giving her the time she so needed. She didnt want to but in the end she did it for Tina. And for the first time in five years, she removed her ring and put in on the chain next to hers.
She cursed herself over and over for not doing things the way she usally dealt with them, instead she had listened to them and it had got her where she didnt want to be. To not let her anger kill her from being held in, she decided then to throw herself into her work and into working out. It was the two things she knew wouldnt let her down or lose control of.
But before she could do all that, she needed a drink. She needed one bad to drown her already broken heart even more. She headed to a club, she didnt care which one, she just went to accomplish her mission. She didnt want to be found in her corner as she downed one after the other, but she didnt manage to hide well. She didnt know if it was the alcohol working, or just her head because all she could hear was whisperings of cheater, coming from all over the place. She swallowed and swallowed as the whisperings were coming faster and faster in her ears. Ignoring her phone ringing, she kept on.
Alice, hey girl, by any chance have you seen my sister?
No Kit, why is everything ok. She looked around at the table as all eyes were now on her.
Well, she hasnt come home yet and she doesnt answer her phone.
Alice remembering that now Bette knew of Tina moving forward, that this couldnt be a good sign.
Kit Im sure she wants to be alone. But Ill keep a look out for her ok.
All right girl. Thanks.
So whats up with Kit, Alice? With Tina at the table she didnt want to say much.
Oh you know. They could tell she didnt want to get into it, so they let if go for now.
As they continued eating, Tinas phone went off. Seeing it was Bettes number, she couldnt answer it.
Its Amy, she lied, Ill just call her back later. Then Alices phone went off. It was Bettes phone. Thinking about what Kit had said, she answered, Hello, there was a mans voice on the other end.
Hi, is this an Alice P.
Yes,
Well I have a very intoxicated Ms. Porter here and she is kind of getting out of control. I called the first number of her emergency ones, but no answer.
Where is she at?
Down here at Starlights. I suggest you come and get her please.
Um I have to go you guys. Shane Ill call you later ok.
Alice are you sure everythings okay?
Yeah Tina its fine. Knowing she couldnt hide from Tina,
Its her isnt?
Its not what you think? Tina closed her eyes.
Shes downtown drinking her sorrows away, and they need me to come and get her. Shane if you dont mind Id rather youd come with me.
Yeah Al, whatever.
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WOW..this is really good stuff!…I can actually understand what Bette is going thru..the bottle was my ‘best friend’ too once upon a time..not exactly the smartest thing to do but it did help forget the pain for a while..next chapter please..