Its not that Im psychic or anything but who would call us at 6 am but someone who knew us. So I answered the phone Hey, babe. The hotel had a portable model and I grabbed it and a pillow and headed to the bathroom for a little privacy. I made myself comfortable in the tub/Jacuzzi and listened to K tell me why she didnt call last night, listened to her read me tales of the L, listen to her tell me how she missed me and loved me and how long the next few days would be without me. The only consolation I did get was hearing that SHE had finally written the next installment — amazing that I have been following her story since May – the same story- and yet there are brand new writers posting several chapters a day, old authors starting new story lines, some even able to write two stories at the same time. You would think that I could get into something else, but NNOOO, I still obsess about the ONE who hooked me, my first !!! Dont misunderstand, I love them all very much, but SHE just gets to me. I think I need to find a way to tell her shes the one – I get the feeling from her story that it might be ending soon and that would make me sad – but right now Im feeling good.

K and I had been chatting for nearly an hour and I knew I had to get the others up and moving so we could hit the road. Before I hung up I asked her about my seeing her at the Delta counter the day before.

Oh, babe, please dont make me tell you why I was there, she sounded a bit jovial.

Sorry, K, fess up, Im really curious.

Since you are insisting and twisting my good arm, Ill tell ya. I was just checking on some flight availabilities in December – I want us to go away for the holidays.

Something in my stomach began to churn and I sat up immediately in the tub – K KNEW I could never get away for any holiday – a condition of my employment was working each and every one of those days that normal people got to enjoy with family. So, you werent buying a ticket or anything, I asked.

No, no, what would give you that idea?

Her voice was just an octave higher, the inflection just a bit off center and I knew in my heart that SHE WAS LYING – – HOLY MOTHER OF GAWD – K WAS ***** LYING TO ME – – TO ME , THE QUEEN OF DECEPTION – – TRYING TO BE DECEIVED. ***** . .

I could hardly talk and didnt know what to say. This was not the time for confrontation. K and I had always discussed our relationship very openly and she knew that I could live with her leaving me for someone else – that would be honest – I just couldnt tolerate a liar being one myself and all. ( Just dont ever make a fool of me, K, I used to say. I dont need help in that department – Im quite good at it already.)

Babe, you there? she asked.

Yea, yea, I was just looking at the time – I really need to get these guys moving. Well talk about the holidays when I get back. I wont be able to call ya for a awhile, but maybe late Friday when its all over, OK?

Uh, ok, babe. Hey, I love you. GOOD LUCK!

Yea, thanks, hon. Talk to you soon. I couldnt bring myself to say I LOVE YOU TOO. I hung up, took a quick shower and went out to get the girls up and ready. We had a mission to complete and I had no time for distractions – ***** K DAMMIT . . .

It didnt take us long to get on the road — packed everything away, a quick breakfast in the hotel dining room and an easy check-out. The room was comped, thanks to Bigs, so we were Vegas bound by 9 am.

It was decided even before we hit Interstate 70 that we would drive straight through, each taking 6 hour shifts and stopping between turns for bathroom and food breaks. Last nights pre-game ritual had heightened our anticipation and we were more than ready to get on with the assignment – we would sight-see on the way home.

Driving to the mission sites was always the highlight of our annual trips for me . Sure, capturing our marks and making lasting memories with the chosen targets was a big deal, but spending time with the girls, catching up on our lives and talking with old friends without the worries of having to be politically correct or offending someone was such a joy.

One of the things we always promised we would do was learn something new each year to make us better people, citizens, women, whatever. Then we would share that experience.

The driver got to choose the music and Bigs had gotten us a van with satellite radio to make the tunes commercial free and more enjoyable. Since she was the first driver we got to listen to the 80s for the next six hours! And discuss our self improvements over the last year.

Bigs was going to participate in a triathlon so she was learning to swim, something as a kid she never knew how to do. Sugar was learning calligraphy because she said she need to be more artistic and enjoyed using that skill when sending letters and stuff. Me – well, I wasnt going to tell them that I was taking piano lessons – by day from a 60 year old crabby retired elementary school teach. By night K,( quite an accomplished player who was the life of the parties with her repertoire of show tunes!) was teaching me as well. Late at night in the dark she would sit behind me, both of us wearing only tank tops (white of course) her legs wrapped around my thighs, her chest up against my back. She would take my hands and put them on top of hers all the while whispering instructions in my ear in between tongue lashes. I cant ever remembering learning one new song because we always seemed to end up having ***** on the piano bench or the floor or the coffee table. I just know that I hope I NEVER learn to play because I need those lessons! Nope, I wasnt going to tell the girls about that new skill – especially since I believed that K was deceiving me. Instead I told them I was taking a sign language class thinking that would help me in my job as well as all the volunteer work I try to do.

We drove all day and all night without incident, chatting, sleeping , stopping only to refresh and refuel. It was Wednesday late day when we hit the desert just outside Vegas and we knew we would be at the hotel within hours. Thats when Bigs just had to broach the subject we were purposely avoiding all trip – that little ***** just had to open her big fat trap.

I was driving at the time, Bigs in the front seat, Sugar lounging in the back. So, what do you think is going to happen on the Show in Season 2? Bigs asked.

Sug threw in her two cents worth, I added mine then Bigs, waiting to hear our opinions first, spouted off with, Well those are pretty good scenarios, but if you ask me I think Tina is better off WITHOUT Bette and should leave her for good and get on with her life. A couple new characters could be added to the show, new story lines could be developed, it would be great..

I didnt hear much of what Bigs said beyond Tina is better off without Bette because I had stopped the van right in the middle of the road. The brakes squealed a bit and we all got a touch of whiplash. The desert road was incredibly long, straight and totally uninhabited – we being the ONLY car in sight for miles in either direction. Still, after coming to such an abrupt halt , I decided it best to pull the vehicle off to the side of the road just to be safe.

What did you say? I looked over at her, removing my sunglasses to get a better view.

I said Tina is better off without Bette and what are you doing stopping in the middle of the ***** desert?

You just shut the ***** up and get out of the van. I hollered. I got out of the drivers side taking the keys with me, slammed the door, and walked around to the front. I could see Bigs through the windshield turn to the back and giggle with Sugar. I pounded on the hood of the van so hard that both of them jumped a few feet off their seats. I SAID GET THE ***** OUT OF THE VAN – BOTH OF YOU!

I think shes pissed, Sugar whispered to Bigs as they exited the passenger side. Ya think? joked Bigs in return.

Sugar leaned up against the van, ankles crossed, arms crossed at her chest, just getting a good seat to watch the inevitable confrontation.

Bigs walked around to the front of the van and stood toe to toe face to face with me. Are you out of your mind stopping like this in the middle of no where. What is wrong with you.?

Wrong with ME, I asked incredulously . Wrong with ME? How could you possibly say that Tina is better off without Bette? Granted they will have some problems this season and getting back together may take a long while, but to say she is better off without her?? How could you?. They are meant to be together – how could you possibly entertain any other scenario?

Bigs took a step back and turned to Sugar as if to say, help me out here to which Sug shrugged her shoulders and shook her head indicating she wasnt gonna step into this ring. Bigs had opened her mouth and a can of worms that she was just gonna have to shut herself.

I got the feeling that Bigs thought I was acting just a little insane so the logical approach was probably the best way to go.

Ok, ok, work with me here just a little, Bigs started. And be honest. Dont you think Bette is just a bit of a *****, controlling, demanding, condescending? Just a little? Be honest now.

Ok, yea, she is a little, I admitted rather reluctantly.

Would she be a friend of yours if you actually knew her?

No,no she wouldnt.

And dont you think that in every episode, and I know youve seen them more than once so you know what I am about to say is true, that at least once in every episode Bette does or says something to Tina to make her feel like a piece *****.? Doesnt she? Something subtle, a look or a remark, or maybe something overt like a full blown exchange of words. Come on now. You know Im right.

I thought about what Bigs had said and had to admit that Bette was not exactly the nicest person all the time to Tina, the supposed love of her life.

Ok, yea, she does treat Tina like ***** sometimes, but thats what make them special. Tina can see through Bettes faade and knows her actions are unintentional and probably a result of deeper issues yet unresolved in Bettes life. Tina is going to help Bette resolve those issues and help make Bette a better person. Shes the only one who can – shes the person to save Bette from herself. They are soul mates; they are meant to be together. How could you possibly think anything else.?

I was ranting pretty wildly by this time and scaring Bigs just a little while Sugar was suppressing her laughter by putting her hand over her mouth.

Bigs believed she was making a little headway getting me to admit that Bette was not the nicest person, but she just wouldnt let go of the idea of Tina moving on.

So how long do you think a person should take that kind of ***** from someone else? Dont you think seven years is enough and infidelity on top of that? Come on Nutter, Tina deserves to be happy and its not going to happen with Bette.

I snapped. Bigs hit a nerve that sent signals to my soul. Bigs was so wrong she needed to be put down. And thats what I did. Like a football defensive back about to make a big hit on a receiver, I lowered my head and shoulder and charged Bigs, nailing her right in the stomach and chest, grabbing her around the waist, tackling her, sending us both flying several feet in the air and landing HARD on the desert ground. Before she knew what hit her, I scrambled to my knees, straddled her thighs, grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the ground, totally immobilizing her.

You mother *****, take that back, I hissed just inches from her face. Tinas happiness is destined with Bette, now you take back what you said or I will never let you up.

Bigs was more than pissed about me roughing her up and sitting on top of her. So pissed in fact she steadfastly refused to retract her statement. Take it back? ***** no Im not going to take it back you raging lunatic. In fact, I think that JENNY should be the one to rock Tinas world and make her happy. Yea, JENNY, so there.

Bigs knew JENNY was not my favorite character and for her to even fathom Tina with Jenny was blasphemous. Bigs needed to be taught a lesson and I was just the person to teach her.

I moved Bigs wrists above her head holding them now with just one hand. With the other hand I grabbed a fist full of desert sand and threatened to wash her mouth out with it. By this time Sug had seen the innocent exchange of ideas escalate into a full blown battle and decided it was time to intervene. She walked up behind me and slapped the dirt out of my hand and demanded I get off Biggie. She wrapped her arms under my armpits and chest and dragged me backwards off my heretic friend.

I was sitting on the desert floor next to Sug and was not happy with her breaking up the fight, so I grabbed her ankle and flipped her on her butt, jumping on her quickly and positioning myself on top of her as I had been on top of Bigs. You better make up your mind right now whose side youre on cause its gonna get ugly. I was inches from her face, our eyes locked.

Before Sug could muster an answer Bigs had gotten up and thrown herself at me knocking me off Sug. In a matter of seconds the three of us were rolling around doing our best impression of the WWEs smack down. No real scratching or hairpullilng as in your usual cat fights. Rather just maneuvering for a dominate position.

With all the screaming and cussing and dust flying about, none of us had noticed the flashing blues lights of the state troopers car as it approached the van. God only knows how long the man had watched us tossing and turning and rolling all over each other – Im sure that if the sand were mud he would have let us gone on for a few more minutes.

It took him four throat clearing AH UMS before the three of us dust bunnies realized that we were being watched. We sat up startled, confused, shocked, and totally busted.. . .


TBC