Chapter 12




What am I doing? ….what the ***** am I doing ? Tina said to herself,
leaning her forehead on the door in Alices place, right after she closed it
behind Teresa. This is not right, she thought, only 2 seconds after she
kissed Teresa good night, making her feel like she is the only woman on earth
she wanted, when in fact she wasnt the only woman, and not the one she
wanted most either.

All that Tina could think about the whole evening was Bette and the unbelievable breathtaking encounter they had that same afternoon.

She was happy …..ecstatic…not even knowing why….or maybe she knew why, but it didnt make any sense, why am I so excited to see Bette again, why cant I just be mad at her like I used to? she thought walking back to the
couch in the living room, how could I have treated Teresa with so much love tonight when all I could think of was Bette?….why am I doing this?….why am I so freaking happy?

Tina was confused. Tonight she showed Teresa more affection then she ever did the entire time they were dating. She kissed and hugged her so many times that Teresa herself was in shock and clearly had no idea of the days earlier events.

A cloud of sadness came over Tina as she sat on the couch, gazing into nothingness…..was it guilt?….was she mad at herself for letting Bettes
presence affect her so much?

Those were questions that even Tina herself couldn’t answer….the only
thing she knew for certainty was that tonight, when shell be in bed,
sleeping, shell see an angel in her dreams……an angel smiling in the park.





(Next day, noon)

Teresa was sitting in the cafeteria of the medical center she worked for.
She was waiting for Bette to arrive. They spoke earlier and decided to have lunch together. While waiting, she called Tina.

Tina: “Hello? she answered.
Teresa: “Hey you! what are you up to?”
Tina smiling: “I am on my way to the doctor with my man.”
Teresa laughed. Tina’s little attempt to make her jealous with Oscar did not succeed.

Teresa: “Good luck then…. but remember…once you spend the night with me…. youll forget all about him…. Latin women are even hotter than Latin men,” she teased.

Tina blushed, somehow she knew Teresa wasn’t completely kidding and was positive Teresa is indeed what she claimed to be…. a good lover!

Tina: “Ill have to trust you on that one,” Tina continued.
Teresa knew that Oscar was there in the car and it wasn’t the right time for that kind of conversation.

Teresa: “So …Ill pick you up tonight,” she said, now in a serious tone, I need to talk to you.”

Tina: “Okay.” She picked up the change in Teresa’s voice. Pick me up at 8, Alice’s place…. by the way …how is your day so far?”

Teresa: Its good…busy…Im meeting a friend for lunch…she’ll be here any minute.”

Tina: “Good…. bon appetite…. Ill see you tonight.”

Teresa: “Okay…. say hi to Oscar,” she said and hung up the phone and stared at the table. She needed to see Tina tonight, there was something very important she needed to tell her, something that could cause a problem in their new relationship.



Bette walked into the cafeteria of the medical center, her eyes searching for Teresa. She saw Teresa sitting at a corner table, talking on the phone. She walked over to her and noticed Teresa’s worried expression as she hung up the phone.

Teresa wasn’t aware of Bette’s arrival, so Bette quickly snuck up behind her and threw the book she was holding in her hands on the table.
The sound of the book slamming on the table startled Teresa. She looked up and saw Bette wearing a huge smile on her face.

Teresa: “Well, well, well, finely, her majesty decided to show up!” she said to grinning Bette.

Bette leaned over and gave Teresa a friendly kiss on the cheek.

Bette: “Sorry…work…you know… as usual.”

Teresa was used to it already, they met at least once a week for lunch, most of the time in the medical center’s cafeteria since Teresa had to stay close by in case of emergency. Bette was always late.

Teresa looked down at the book sitting on the table, “Love in the Time of Cholera.” Bette had borrowed it from Teresa few days earlier.

Teresa: “So did you like the book?

Bette still had that stupid smile on her face.

Bette: “I loved it …I absolutely loved it… not only the book was good; She also had that amazing, coincidental meeting with Tina while she was reading it in the park.

Teresa, suspicious: “You look very happy…what is that smile about?”

Bette giggled…her heart was pounding fast, her stomach tightened in an emotional knot, just as its been since see saw Tina.
Bette: “I saw her,” she said softly with an enthusiastic smile.

It took Teresa a couple of seconds to get it…. Bette smiling….excited…beaming like a teenager in love….

Teresa: “Ooooohhh…. your ex?”

Bette: “Yes…. yesterday…. I was in the park…. reading your book…I was so relaxed…and then …then…, she was so excited she couldn’t find the words, … I couldn’t even believe it…. I looked up…and there she was…. in her car…looking straight at me…I…. I…. couldnt talk…. it was …amazing!”

Teresa: “What did you do?”

Bette: “Nothing…. I couldn’t do anything…. I froze…. all I could do was smile.”

Teresa: “And???” she was anxious to hear more, she was excited for Bette.

Bette sighed, “And she smiled back…I don’t even know how long I was standing there, looking at her…. but there’s one thing I do know …without a doubt…she still loves me…. the look in her eyes was all I needed to know…. Im telling you …Im going to get her back…I don’t care how many years it takes me, but I will get her back…and once I do …I will never… never…let her go.”

Teresa was excited, but still a little doubtful. “Bette,” she said, “Im really happy for you …but …didn’t you say she had a guy now?”

Bette: “I don’t care if she is seeing him …or anyone else for that matter…I know what I saw…I know her like the palm of my hand…. she still loves me…there’s no doubt in my mind about it… if I could only show her how much I still love her…. how hard I have worked not to be the ***** I used to be…maybe…we could work it out…I know …the chance for that is small…. but it’s still a chance.”

Teresa was caught in Bette’s excitement, in the past few months they got closer and closer and Teresa loved seeing Bette so happy and full of hope.

Teresa: “Well muchacha, (girl)…. if you want to get this woman, you better start working on it, so start practicing your lines,” she smiled as she said that last sentence, but then she remembered she has to start practicing her lines too and tell Tina about the problem she had to tell her tonight and her smile faded away.

Bette noticed the change and asked Teresa concerned, “Hey…what was that… what’s on your mind? she remembered Teresa looked a little troubled when she arrived,” is something bothering you?

Teresa trying not to make a big deal out of it and said, “No, just a few things I need to do.

Bette didn’t buy it. Teresa reminded her of someone she knew well…. herself.

Bette: “It’s that new girl of yours…. isnt it? …. Is she giving you a hard time?”

Teresa: “No, not at all…she’s great…were getting closer and closer each day, its just that I have to go away for a while…work stuff, you know…
God … it’s the worse timing…I don’t want to leave her alone.

Teresa didn’t tell Bette the reason it was bad timing to go away…the fact was that Tina was due in 3 weeks and going away would mean that Teresa will probably miss the birth of the new baby…. it was something that she really didn’t want to do.

Bette: How long is a while?

Teresa: “Seven weeks.”
Bette: “Seven weeks…that’s almost two months…where are you going…and what about your daughter?”

Teresa: “Karina is going to spend the summer with her father in New York. We planed that months ago, so when the center offered me to volunteer for some good will work I said yes…I didn’t know Id fall in-love.
Bette: “Its not so bad…. Im sure she’ll understand…where are you going anyway?
Teresa stared at Bette; she wasn’t so sure that Tina would understand her not being there for the first few weeks as a mom, besides, the place she was going to was too far for anyone to understand.
Teresa: “Africa, she said finely.
Bette: “AFRICA!?!?!?! Bette yelled.
Teresa: “Ethiopia to be exact….. 7 weeks in a dirty uncivilized village in the middle of the country…3 hours from Adis Ababa, the capital…you know …the kids there don’t exactly have a dental plan.

Bette was shocked, “maybe we’re not so alike after all, she thought,” dirty village…no decent shower? the closest she got to Africa and the kids in need was when she wrote her monthly checks to “All About Giving charity.”
She never even imagined going there, walking around in sandals and khaki shorts, fighting the flies.

Bette: “What are you… a saint ?!?!”

Teresa laughed, and threw a napkin on Bette, she was uncomfortable with Bette mocking her, and she didn’t want to be seen as one of those pretentious intellectuals that go to those places to show how good they are.
She decided to end the topic.
Teresa: “Anyway…. forget about that…. I thought you should know that I had a word with my sister last night…she asked about you.

Bette got serious again. It has been months since she saw or spoke to Candace, not since she broke it off with her.

Bette: “Okay…how is she?

Teresa: “She’s fine, Teresa lowered her eyes,” she asked me if we were seeing each other.

Bette knew that Candace was jealous, she sensed that long time ago.
Bette: “And what did you tell her?
Teresa: “The truth…. that we are friends. That we meet for lunch every once in awhile…. that you adore Karina. That you took us to a tour in the CAC…. I told her everything…just like Im telling you.

Bette: “Im sorry Teresa, the last thing I want is for you to have a problem with your sister because of me.

Teresa laughed, “Bette…. dont worry …not to sound arrogant … but, not you or anyone else can come between my sister and I …the only reason Im telling you this in the first place is that you wont feel bad about being my friend, When I told her we were just friends she knew immediately that it was the truth…I will never lie to her…I will never do anything to hurt her and she knows that…. I owe her too much to do that …I owe her my life.

Bette: “Your life? Bette was surprised by Teresa’s strong words, she never heard Teresa talk like that about anyone.

Teresa: “Yes, …. my life, Teresa continued,” almost 8 years ago, when I was in college, I met a guy… Karina’s father…we eloped…did a lot of drugs…got pregnant…. Iwas about to quit school…and got myselfinto a whole lot of trouble…no one would help me …my family had given up on me…I was 21 and stupid…., Her voice calm and low as she spoke, “Candace was the only who helped me …..She did more than that…. she stopped her architecture studies…took my mom and moved to L.A….She got an offer from a person in the carpentry business…something that paid very well…she took that offer because of me…. she made enough money to support our mother and us…she got me through school…. supported me and Karina for two whole years…. until I managed to get back on my feet again…I will never forget that. She knows I will never betray her…. she paidfor my foolish actions and for that I owe her my life.


Bette sat there, listening to Teresa’s words, she finely got a glimpse of the story behind Teresa’s wisdom, a past that seemed very hard and painful.
She was ashamed…. ashamed of herself…. she only now realized Tina wasn’t the only wonderful person she hurt with her selfish egotistical ways…. Candace was a person far more complex and selfless that she had imagined…she could only hope that one day she could redeem her actions and be fortunate enough to have their forgiveness





(Evening)

So?… Tina exhaled,… how long is a while? she asked after Teresa told her she had to leave for Africa.
Teresa lowered her eyes, the answer she had to give Tina was the real catch in the situation.

Seven weeks, she blurted softly, thinking that if shell say it fast enough
it wont seem so long .

Tina closed her eyes, not saying a word, she felt how difficult it was for Teresa to tell her she had to leave.
Minutes passed, both of them still silent, Tina opened her eyes to look at
Teresa.

Not talking they both knew this trip will take Teresa away from Tina at the most crucial time of the year, of labor, of her first days as a mother.

Believe me, Teresa pleaded, if I had a choice I wouldnt even consider
going away for so long … Im sorry …but I gave my word …I made a
commitment…..I should have told you that before, but I couldn’t…there
was a problem getting the authorization to go there and I was hopping that the trip would be canceled…Im sorry…. The words came out blurry and
confused but Tina knew exactly what Teresa was trying to say.

Tina didnt want Teresa to go, she wanted her to stay by her side and give her the things she needed most…..attention…..support….

she knew it was selfish of her to feel like that ,to think only of herself.
she took a deep breath and finely said:



Tina: Im so lucky to have you, she said as soon as Teresa finished.

Teresa: What? she said with surprise, those were the last words she
expected to hear from Tina.

Tina: You heard me …..I cant believe that you are feeling bad about letting me down when Im the one who should be feeling guilty.

Teresa: What do you mean youre the one…..why would you feel bad?

Tina: Because, she continued, here I am with the most incredible person I have ever met, a person that is willing to spend seven weeks in a God forsaken place just to do something good for society, for all those unfortunate children, and all I can think about is my own selfish reasons ….wanting you to stay.

Oh Tina, she moaned, I want to stay….I want to be with you … now
….for the baby….for ever.., her voice trembling with emotions.

Tina reached out and held Teresas face in her hands, and you will, she
whispered softly in to Teresas ear.

Teresa: I will? wondering what did Tina meant by that.

Tina brushed her fingers on Teresas cheek. She thought of the conversation
they had just a few days ago, about her fear of intimacy with Teresa…..about
the way Teresa handled the rejection…about how patient and supportive she had been ….she started to talk, softly whispering into Teresas tears …meaning every word that came out of her mouth.
Tina: Even if it takes a year…..Ill wait for you.