Lady Penelope followed Tina inside, noticing her still curveous hips moving. It was the unmistaken Kennards walk. Smiling she nodded, thinking that her daughter walked the same way.

Opening the door to their room Tina entered, leaving the door for Helen to close it behind her.

Tina walked to Jules crib to take a look at him and then turned to look at Helen. Helen was sadly smiling, already lost in past lives. Hers and Tinas.

Pacing the room up and down Helen needed a few seconds to start voicing her memories.

I loved you I was in love with you she said, looking at Tina briefly before continue walking.

Tina, nodding sat down on the bed, unable to stop looking at Helen.

You left school and I never said anything to you Helen continued, pacing again, looking down.

I know mumbled Tina.

You know I met Jack that winter we met a few times when we went skiing and to Geneve added Helen, seeing vividly Jack in her mind as if it was the first time.

I know, I thought I was in love with his best friend added Tina, lost in the memories too.

Yeah, Benoithe was cute smiled Helen, looking at Tina.

“Yeah smiled Tina, nodding.

You left, and Jack left with you back to the StatesI wanted to write to you, wanted to tell you how I felt but I felt panic so I didnt then I went to the Sorboneyou wrote me a few times

Ten letters interrupted Tina, looking down at her hands, not sure what to do with them.

Yes nodded Helen, feeling a knot in her stomach.

I I..I wanted to answer but was scared, afraid youd hate me for the feelings I had for you so I decided that you, as a precious memory was better than having you hating me or mad at me. I was scared of losing you so I choose to let you get loose.that winter was hellI was constantly thinking about youabout the time we visit Paris, about everything we talked about, about everything we did, everything we saw your image was with me everyday and then, in May or so I run into Jack

Tina looked up at Helen. There it was, live and fresh, the golden boy.

hehe was looking up schools, he wanted to move there to study we talked and talkedhe was funny, and cheerful as always..and he reminded me so much of you we saw each other but nothing happened he came back to the states that summer and then on the fall he came back to Paris he called me

he did? asked Tina, so light that Helen didnt hear her.

He kept calling me we became friends we became the best of friendsyou kow how he was, so funny, so alive, so gorgerousalways the gentleman till he told me how he felt”

He was in love with you Tina whipered to herself

he said he was in love with meI didnt see it comingI loved him at first because of you but then because of himself he was everything anyone could dream about but he wasnt you he was a man and I was in love with a woman I loved womenit was awful..I tried to explain to him, tried to tell him But again I was afraid to lose him but then he one day after a heated discussion, we were drank we were in my apartment and out of nowhere he said it.

Helen nervously stopped her pacing, looking at Tina.

He knew it, I dont know how but he knew itand he said it

He did?

Nodding, Helen started pacing again.

He said I was in love ith you at first I denied it I said it was not true but then, watching him, seeing her beautiful golden hair, her caramel eyes, missing her honest smile I thought I could not lose him too so I said itI told him everythingI told him I was in love with youI told him I was ***** but I tried very hard to show him that I loved him for himself, not just because of youand he believed me we cried, we cried and then we fall asleep

Did you..? Mumbled Tina, afraid to look at Helen.

Looking up, smiling, Helen nodded.

Murph, Tina is only 4this was 12 years ago

Yeah, right, sorry Tina mumbled, looking down again.

We slept together, we shared a bed, we didnt have sexfrom then on we became the best of friendsbut on one condition; I made him promise me to never tell you how I felt

He never did nodded Tina, feeling her lungs closing.

He was my best friend, he helped me through college, with my first lover.., I visited him in Chicago a few times

You did? asked Tina, looking at Helen.

Yeah, a few times once we, you and I almost run into each other it was just before his big promotionI surprised him with a visit the same day you were leaving from one of yours

Helen was nodding, sadly smiling.

It was the end of 94 I think, on November or something well, he could not stop telling me about your visit you were not a usual topic between us, your name was a never written rule, we just lived with your ghost between us but then he told me about your visit and he couldnt stop, he told me about your life, about your carreer, about your jobyou were happy he said…I listened, and listened but said nothingwe were having dinner and then we decided to get out as always with us we got drank and then walking back to his place, in his drunkness he said,

You still love her right?. I was drunk too, I was not able to lie to him, not then, not so drunk so I nodded. He knew about my relationships, I never last with anyone longer than a couple of monthsI wasnt a stud I really didnt care that much about relationshipsI had him and had Gerendish Collection so my life was okor so I thought.

Helen stopped her pacing and sighing deeply sat down on the bed, her back to Tina.

He hugged me and then he said it, something I never thought abouthe offered me his spermhe said he loved me and he said that he was sure I loved him and you he also said there was no way, we (you and me or me and him) could be together so he said that having his kid was the perfect way to go. I thought he was nuts, I thanked him but denied. We went home and spent the rest of the week as if nothing happened. Then, on the spring of 95 he visited me in Paris. And he brought it up again he wanted to do it he said hed love to have a kid with me he said he loved me he said hed move to France, hed work in Monaco if I wanted him in the kids life…if not he said hed always be the godfatherIt made sense Murph, it didhe was great, I loved him so he did ithe made the donation.

Tina, nodding, wasnt feeling the tears that were appearing in her eyes, she was lost in her thoughts.

“But Tina is four she added, looking up to Helens back.

I know.Helen added, I wanted to finish my master, I wanted a little more time before getting pregnantso I waited and then that Christmas

Tina sobbed, vividly remembering.

He died MurphI lost himI was devastedhe was my best friendI could not do itnot then.I ..I went back to EnglandI came out..I told Lady Gerendishshe knew (Tina looked up, watching Helens stare)they always knowshe knew about me being ***** she was ok she loves meI told her about Jack and Jacks idea she loved Jack he was great with her

Tina moved closer to Helen, sitting at her side.

What happened then? She whispered, taking Helens hand in hers.

Then I moved back to Gerendishs castle, I studied, I worked thereI went out a little more, trying to forget, trying to start a new lifeI made some friendsnot as good as Jack but I met peoplethen the Gerendish Collection went to the Lourve for an exhibition and I went back with it I went back to Paris back to him back to you

And then you did it finished Tina, closing her eyes, feeling the tears rolling down her face.

I did and it workedI became pregnantand nine months later the love of my life appearedII was sure it was going to be a boyit was going to be a new Jackbut then the most beautiful creature showed me her greates smileand it was you Murph, it was your smile I named her TinaI know Jackd had love it

Tina wasnt aware of how she was tighting Helens hand, she was crying, remembering, trying to imagine.

Im sorry Tina Helen finished, looking Tina in the eyes. Her lips trembling, her heart exposed, her memories alive.

Tina looked at Helen, reading her face, the look on her eyes, her trembling lips.

She remembered, she once loved this woman, and she never knew it, not then. Tears were quietly running down Helens cheecks. She was waiting, waiting for Tinas reaction, waiting for her future.

Tina, holding Helens hand leaned into her. She wasnt thinking, she leaned closer, and very carefully placed her lips on Helen trembling ones.

***

Alice, Dana, Greta and Bette were preparing the brunch when lilttle Tina asked for the bathroom. Shane, smiling while holding Jamie, nodded to Bette, saying,

Ill show her, Ill put Jamie on her crib.

The three of them left the pool leaving a smiling group.

Her stud days are so overshe is totally in love with the babies too sad Alice said, shaking her head, walking to get the orange juice.

Greta, nodding, smiled to herself, hiding her face looking at the pool.