Tina, Bette and Lance rode the 50-mile car ride to Riverville in silence with Bette staring out the window watching the passing scenery, or lack thereof, and Tina watching Bette hoping that she wasnt too upset about the earlier events. Lance tried to make conversation with his daughters, but his efforts were fruitless as Bette was nearly silent, a sign that something was definitely wrong. Lance finally pulled the truck off the main road and turned down a dirt path for about five minutes before pulling to a stop in front of the house. Bette got out of the truck and looked around in disbelief almost as she took in the sight before her. She had never seen anything like it and when Tina saw the look on Bettes face she couldnt help but giggle.

TINA: Hey youcome onthis way.

Bette looked at Tina with wide eyes as she followed her into the house to greet the rest of the family. Tina had described her home and family to Bette before, but needless to say, Bette was unprepared for what she actually saw. The house was on a property that was roughly three acres large with the enormous house at the front of the property. There was a chicken coup next to the barn that was behind the house and Bette could see horses, cattle and miles and miles of land laid out before her. She followed Tina up the steps into the house and into the waiting arms of her mother.

DENISE: Hi Bette! Oh its so good to see you again. How was the trip?

BETTE: Umit was good Mrs. Kennard.

DENISE: Please, call me momor Denisedoesnt matter. Lance honey, can you take the girls stuff upstairs? The rest of the family is waiting in the living room.

LANCE: Sure.

Lance took Tina and Bettes suitcases upstairs while Denise practically dragged Tina and Bette into the living room and soon Bette found herself surrounded by about thirty people all hugging her and Tina and trying to make conversation. Bette shot Tina a look that said, help me but Tina was too busy catching up with her sister Tracy to even notice. Denise settled Bette down at the table with some of Tinas cousins while Tracy and Tina fawned all over Tracys baby boy who appeared to be about six months old. Denise excused herself to fetch some lemonade for everyone and soon Bette was immersed in conversation with people she had vaguely remembered talking with Tina about. After a few minutes Bette needed some fresh air so she excused herself saying she needed to find the restroom and quickly escaped outside through the back door. Bette sighed loudly to herself thinking this was going to be one long week and she plopped down on a bench next to the door and took in the peaceful countryside.

WOOF WOOF

BETTE: Ahhhhhhh

Bette was startled as two big golden retrievers came galloping towards her and she barely had enough time to move aside so that they crashed into the bench instead of her and she fell over backwards tripping on a stool that was nearby. The dogs saw her on the ground and quickly pounced on her licking her face and neck with such aggression that Bette thought she was going to need a shower as soon as she could get them off of her. Oh my goodness I am not going to survive she thought as she did her best to get the dogs off her, but since both of them weighed almost as much as she did, she had quite the struggle.

TINA: JESSI, DANNY!!! NO!!! Get away!!!

Tina shooed the dogs away and helped Bette to her feet only to receive an ice cold glare from Bette who was doing her best to dust herself off while trying to wipe the dogs saliva off her. Tina smiled at Bette who was staring at the dogs as if they were from another planet. Tina sat down and immediately Jessi and Danny sat down next to her and both placed their heads in her lap for some attention while Bette watched with one eyebrow raised in disbelief. Tina smiled up at her and stood up reaching out for Bettes hand. Bette obliged her wearily and Tina turned to the dogs.

TINA: Jessi, Dannythis is Bette. Be nice to her okay?

WOOF

Bette stared at the dogs for a few seconds before one of them, who knows which one came over and sat next to her nudging her hand with its head. Bette rolled her eyes and petted the dog only to have the other one come over and demand attention as well. Soon Bette was doing her best to pet both dogs without having them trample all over her while Tina sat back and watched with a big smile on her face.

TINA: Well well Ms. Porter, seems theyve taken a liking to you.

BETTE: Ha ha very funny. You could have warned me about the dogs you know.

TINA: You shouldnt have snuck out here by yourself then baby. Is everything okay?

BETTE: Yeah its fine. I just wasnt expecting to meet your entire family today. I thought that wasnt until the party.

TINA: Oh that wasnt the whole family babe. That was just my moms side.

BETTE: THERES MORE?!?!?

Tina laughed at Bettes incredulous tone and she shoed the dogs away as she took Bettes hand and led her down towards the fields.

TINA: Yeah baby, I told you. I have a big family.

BETTE: I know. I guess Im just not used to the entire family actually being around you know? I mean look at my family.

TINA: I know. Dont worrytheyre not staying here. Theyre just visiting. They should be gone by dinner. So how do you like our little farm?

BETTE: Little doesnt seem to fit Tina. Its beautiful out here. Why did you come to LA when you had all this?

TINA: Maybe I was looking for something I didnt know existed.

Bette smiled at Tina and stopped walking as she pulled her in for a gentle kiss. Tina wrapped her arms around Bettes neck and smiled into the kiss as Bettes arms snaked around her waist while her tongue found its way into Tinas mouth.

BANG BANG BANG

BETTE: (Breaking off the kiss and looking around obviously very startled) What the ***** was that?

TINA: Probably dad off looking for snakes or something.

BETTE: Snakes???

Bette looked down at where they were standing and back at Tina before taking off back towards the house. Tina rolled her eyes as she followed Bette back into the house and upstairs so that they could shower and change before dinner. Bette felt much better after taking a long hot shower and she even enjoyed dinner with Tina and her parents and soon she found herself barely able to keep her eyes open so her and Tina retreated to bed. Some time around six thirty in the morning Bette felt Tina nudge her and she rolled over with a smile on her face expecting to see Tinas smiling face. What she got instead was a face full of dog and Bette let out a scream that would have woken the dead. Tina came running in the room to see what was wrong and she laughed when she saw Jessi happily waking Bette up by bathing her in dog saliva.

TINA: Come on Jessiout.

Bette sat up grumpily as she wiped the side of her face and pouted as Tina sat down next to her. Tina tried to help Bette wipe the dog spit off her face but Bette ignored it and got up to shower yet again leaving Tina to sigh and go back downstairs to help Denise in the kitchen. Bette came downstairs feeling a little guilty for snubbing Tina earlier and asked if there was anything she could do to help with breakfast. Denise looked at Tina and raised an eyebrow and after Tina remembered how Bette had acted she decided a little payback was in order. Tina handed Bette a bucket and instructed her outside.

TINA: We could use some eggs babe.

BETTE: Eggs?

TINA: Yeah. The chicken coup is next to the barn. Just get about a dozen or so okay?

BETTE: You want me to get eggs from a chicken coup? Cant we just go buy some?

TINA: Sorry babe. Next closest city is about ten miles from here and unless you want to walk, dad took the boys out hunting this morning so were stuck.

Bette sensed this was more a punishment than a request so she complied and grumbled to herself as she walked outside. The first thing she did was look around for the two monsters, who were thankfully nowhere in sight, then she looked at the ground as she walked hoping against hope that she wouldnt meet her first real live snake with nothing more to protect herself than a metal bucket and finally found herself standing in front of the chicken coup.

BETTE: (Talking to herself) Great Porter. First you let her drag you out to the middle of nowhere and now you have to play good farmers wife and get some eggs from some ***** chicken coup. Just great. Okayhere we go.

Bette opened the door to the coup and almost passed out from the sight in front of her. There were about twenty or so chickens sitting, standing and running around in front of her, feathers flying everywhere and the noise these damn birds made was something Bette had never heard before. She looked around for something to grab the eggs with but she reluctantly saw that this was something she was going to have to do by hand. She tentatively entered the coup and as soon as the chickens saw her they all flocked around her thinking she had food. Bette started hoping around trying not to step on any of them as she looked around for the damn eggs. She stepped in chicken ***** and rolled her eyes as the birds continued to attack her feet and legs and Bette was glad that Tina had insisted on her bringing lots of jeans to wear while they were there. The chickens were getting louder and rougher as she tried to make her way through the crowd so Bette decided to try and reason with them.

BETTE: (Now talking to the chickens) Get away youughhcome on guys stay stillI just need a few eggs.

Bette did her best to make her way through the chickens and finally came to a ledge with what looked like a nest and a few eggs. She smiled to herself and set the bucket down at her feet so that she could grab the eggs sitting in front of her. Just as she was about to reach for them an incoming chicken defending its eggs found the side of her head with its wing.

BETTE: OWwhy you littleSHIT!!!

Bette reached for an egg again this time keeping an eye on the attacking bird and when she finally laid her hand on one she let out a yell. Bette had no idea what a freshly hatched egg felt like and she certainly had no idea that they were slimy still and she wiped her hand on her jeans thinking that if she ever made it out of this chicken coup alive she was going to wring Tinas neck. Tina had followed Bette into the chicken coup and was silently watching from the doorway as Bette did her best to maneuver in and out of the crazy birds and finally had a dozen eggs in the bucket that Tina gave her. She turned around with a self-satisfied smile on her face and met Tinas gaze with a smirk on her face. She held out the bucket for Tina to see and grinned at her.

BETTE: Didnt think I could do it huh?

TINA: Actually, I just came out here to see what was taking you so long.

BETTE: These damn birds T. How long does it usually take you?

TINA: Just a few minutes babe. But thats usually because we put them in the pen first.

BETTE: The pen?

Tina pointed to a pen behind the coup and Bette saw a door that opened leading out to it. She glared at Tina who walked past her and opened the door letting the idiotic birds out of the coup and closed it behind them leaving her all the time she needed to get the eggs. She grabbed a few of them from a nest and set them in the bucket and walked past Bette back towards the house.

TINA: See babe. Not that hard.

Bette let out a huge sigh and hung her head as she followed Tina into the house with the sound of Tina and Denises laughter filing the air. Bette sighed to herself again as she waited for Denise to make breakfast thinking once again, This is going to be one long ***** week.