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    If it is meant to be…Chapter 31

    Story written on September 8, 2004 by Seahurst.
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 45
    Words: 1608
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=49416
    Author Notes:

    More of their reconnection…and lots of tears.

    “Tina….Baby….I need you up here…next to me…please Baby…” Bette’s voice was strangled, trying to be heard in-between her gasps of pleasure.

    Tina slowly made her way back up Bette’s body, propping herself up on her elbow, so she was looking directly into Bette’s eyes. “Are you Ok?” She could see through Bette’s glazed over eyes, that she was lost in her physical pleasure, but there was something else there that Tina couldn’t quite read…’Jesus, is that fear?’ Her fingers stopped in mid stroke. “Baby?”

    “Oh God Tina…don’t stop! Just stay close. I need you right here with me.”

    “Baby, what’s wrong?”

    Bette wrapped her arms tightly around Tina’s shoulders, burying her face into Tina’s neck. “Nothing Baby…,” she breathed out. “Just…please…don’t stop.”

    Heeding Bette’s plea, Tina’s fingers continued with their loving rhythm, while her other arm had Bette wrapped up into her, as close as possible. “I love you Bette. I’m here…right next to you. Can you feel me? Can you feel my fingers?” Tina stroked again…”Oh God Bette, I have missed you…missed being inside you.”

    Feeling Tina’s soft and gentle stroke, along with hearing her soft and gentle voice, was all that Bette needed. Her body erupted with one of the most powerful orgasms she had ever experienced, propelling her upper body forward up off the bed, almost into a sitting position. She rocked back and forth until the convulsions subsided, then fell back onto the mattress, immediately feeling her tears flowing down her cheeks.

    Tina reached up and wrapped her other arm around Bette, engulfing her with her body. She could feel Bette’s tears, which brought tears to her own eyes. ‘God, how I have missed this woman!’

    They laid there for a couple minutes, hanging onto the other as tight as possible, neither one wanting to let go. Tina was the first to speak. “God, you are magnificent Bette! I can’t tell you how much I have missed the feel of your body next to mine…so many years.” She brought her hand to Bette’s face, gently wiping away her tears…looking…just looking into her lover’s eyes. “Are you Ok? You have never cried right after an *****.”

    Bette looked back at Tina, knowing that Tina’s statement wasn’t true, but she didn’t need to know that. Bette’s eyes were emitting so many emotions, and knowing they would eventually betray her, she looked away. But, before she did, Tina could see the hesitancy…the embarrassment. “Baby…,” she soothed. “What is it? Why are you embarrassed? Is it because you are crying?”

    Bette didn’t answer, just shook her head no, berating herself for not looking away fast enough. She really didn’t want to share with Tina the answer to her question. It was so private…but knew that she couldn’t keep anything from her…not this time. She wouldn’t even start down that road again, no matter how uncomfortable she was with revealing something so…intimate, so personal. Besides, it didn’t have anything to do with her and Tina.

    Tina’s voice was so soft, so full of love. “Baby…it’s Ok…you can tell me.”

    Bette blew out a breath, looking at the ceiling, rather than into Tina’s eyes. She didn’t think she could do this if she had to look at Tina. “I have cried before, right as I was orgasming.” She stopped, not wanting to continue…but, in a weird way, now that she had started…wanting to at the same time. Continuing to look at the ceiling, she started again, her voice sounding so vulnerable. “The night after Nica died, I was lying in bed and couldn’t go to sleep. I kept seeing this vision of Nica in my head…seeing her smiling face, hearing her voice…she was teasing me about what she was going to buy me for Christmas. All I could focus on was her face, her voice, and the love that was shining through her eyes. I wanted to…I ached to, touch her…just one more time. God T, I didn’t even get to say good-bye…didn’t get to hold her hand one last time.” She took another deep breath. “Anyway…I couldn’t sleep, just kept seeing her face…needing her…needing to feel her. So, I got up and grabbed her bathrobe, knowing that it would still smell like her…got back into bed and laid the robe over my face.” Bette stopped again, this time turning her head, hiding her face in Tina’s neck, so she couldn’t see her. “I couldn’t help it T. I needed to feel her…so I touched myself, and when I came, I burst into tears. That was the only time in my life that I have ever felt so vulnerable that I cried after an *****.” Bette let out a chuckle that held no humor in it whatsoever. “I have to admit, I didn’t touch myself again for a long time after that. I guess I was too fearful of how I would react.”

    “Oh Bette…”

    “No Tina, please don’t say anything. I know that I was crying then because I was grieving the loss of my second love. I mean, I lost my first love to my own fears and my inability to open up…to accept that I couldn’t do everything on my own. Then, after working so hard to make sure that never happened again…and it didn’t happen again, I was so much better with Nica…I lost my second chance. Just like that, she was taken from me…from us.” Bette lifted her head up, finally looking into Tina’s loving eyes. “Baby…you need to know that I am not as strong as I use to think I was…as I convinced everyone else I was. I don’t think I could take losing you…not again. I really don’t…” Her tears started to flow again. “Just know that these tears are not because of Nica…they are because of you…they are about how overwhelmed I am being in your arms again…these tears are here because I love you so much…because I have missed your touch so much…”

    Tina’s heart was bursting with love for this woman beside her, and breaking for her as well. She remembered how painful her divorce had been, but knew that she was still able to see Dan. He was still a part of her life. She didn’t know what it was like to lose someone you loved so deeply through a death. Even after she and Bette had broken up, she could have gone through Alice or Shane, if she had really wanted to find her. However, just because she hadn’t experienced the kind of pain Bette had, she did know what it was like to know in your heart, that you have lost the love of your life. She did understand what it felt like to resign yourself to the fact, that even though you may love again, that it will never really be the same. So, because she understood those emotions…had felt those emotions, she just held onto Bette, the love of her life, who was now giving her another chance. They laid there, allowing their tears to intermingle. “I love you so much Bette. I’m not leaving you ever again…I mean, I wouldn’t want to change the last fifteen years if it meant that I wouldn’t have had my children, but now that I have you again…I’m not letting go…I’m here to stay.”

    Bette’s relief in hearing those words, plus her physical passion for Tina, was overwhelming her. She couldn’t contain herself any longer. She pulled Tina to her, taking her lips into her own. The kiss was passionate…sensuous. “Tina…I need…” Bette’s voice was shaking with desire. “I need to…”

    “I know Baby.” Tina took hold of Bette’s hand, sensing her need to be inside her, and gently guided Bette’s fingers to where they ached to be.” Both women gasped at what she found. Neither said anything…knowing that their coming together not only helped them both to release so many emotions, but it was also allowing them to rejoice in each other…to explore each others bodies again, tapping into old memories…remembering how the other liked to be touched…remembering a particularly sensitive area…where was that special place…oh yea, right there.

    They gave unto each other for hours…sometimes just lying together in silence…sometimes screaming the others name when their release came. This was their second beginning. They had both loved and lost…and now after everything that had happened in their lives, it was their time, once more. They couldn’t believe how lucky they were to have come full circle…that somehow, through a miracle, they had been led right back to each other. And just like Tina said, neither one had any intentions of ever letting go

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    Comments

    1. I can’t give you a 5- I have to give you a 15. You are pulling every emotion out of me and I don’t even realize it sometimes. Kudos!!
      Excellent! Please continue-I’m not done healing.

    3. I was hoping you would post. Again I felt like I was right there with them…you are so good at emotions,so sensitive and loving. I hope you will continue. It is so obvious that you know what love is really about!!!

    9. thank you soooo much for your wonderful story. i love that bette and tina are together in everyway. keep them together and happy…eventually one be happy family!!

    10. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!Tears is right… That would be the most wonderful feeling for anyone to feel to find a love lost again.. To bad this is fan fic.. Fantastic job!!!!! Please continue with this loveing story…

    16. Brava! With writing like this, I don’t think you’ve forgotten how! How many single women have you gotten emails from recently? If you have the same passion as your writing suggests, I can’t imagine that you would remain single very long. Thanks for posting!

    19. Sea, you did a fabulous job with this! “sometimes just lying together in silence…sometimes screaming the others name when their release came.” This is an outstanding line. You handled this part of your story…that you were worried about…with grace. Bravo! I hope you continue with their journey, dealing with families and maybe the other girls. Thanks.

    23. Wow! I’m starting to feel like my drama is boring… Great work! How are you going to deal with the kid thing? Can’t wait! Oh yes shy girl, thanks and we are looking forward to more intamate moments.

    24. Like B&T not being able to get enough of each other, I can’t seem to get enough of your story. I too have followed you from the very beginning and, must say, yours is the best one yet. What a sensative woman you must be to have handled our favorate power couple with such tender, loving care. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. I look forward to them having a long happy life together.

    25. You took us all back to that over whelming senstation of fear, highly anticipated touch, release, and most of all feeling and utterly exposed for the first time. I had butterflies in the pit of my stomach reading this chapter, as well as tears falling. So much depth you are gving us, allowing us to make and feel this connection. What an excellent chapter this was. Such dignity you bring with your senuous side, very soft and slow and we know what you are leading us to. So it is perfect .Thank-you.

    26. It is so unfair to apply a mere 5 rating to this story. You have captured something so precious and special. Loving someone who has lost a loved one is a very rare raw emotion. I silently wept as the words looked at me from the screen. Please continue with the direction you are going. My heart trust that you will blend the following chapters as well as you have expressed yourself thusfar.

    27. Simply beautiful. A sense of calm always washes over me after reading one of your chapters, like all is right in the world. You tell your story so well. Everything is perfect. Thank you!!

    29. So much depth that you are giving us. It is allowing us a 3 demensional feel. I am so caught up in this story line. Especially how you are allowing Bette grieve for her Nica and giving her Leslie to open that door for her and Tina tp proceed with their future. I will be waiting just like all the others for the next chapter.

    30. All the good adjectives have been used! You are a sensitive soul. I’m very surprised you’re single because anyone! would treasure you. Thank you for your wonderful wonderful story.

    32. That was absolutely beautiful. It’s scaring me because when things are this good, the bad is usually lurking. I wonder how Tina’s children will take the news.????

    39. WOW! That was so beautiful, I too had butterflies the whole time I was reading this. I can’t say enough how much I enjoy your story, and your beautiful way with words.

    40. Oh my god, I just read all the season 2 spoilers on thelwordonline and I am now so depressed I think I might die…. I just want to live in the fanfic bubble you have all created here!!!

    42. Sea… the way you weave the feelings into this makes it not only beatiful, but also incredibly sensous… You make both my heart and my body react.. Wow!!! I’ll never be able to read NC-17 stuff again: after this is probably going to be boring. Keep on giving us these great chapters.

    45. geez Porter a bit too much detail about the tears after an orgasm…is Nica always going to be in their bed?????? that could get too intrusive especially during /after love making imo….

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