(Youd think that I would be a very happy person these days – survived yet another hurricane unscathed, got the snake out of the pool and put him in the yard where he feasted on the field mice. Then I tossed him into the creek – gator bait. Yep things are good, but I am so depressed because SHE has deserted me – deserted US. Am I the only one who misses her?? And I think she took several of her friends with her – others are missing as well. I have since turned my attention to a some new ones but I must thank ALL the writers for not abandoning me, for not leaving me craving more stories, for keeping my addiction fed and thriving. Thank you thank you ALL. And just because I dont comment please dont think I am unappreciative. We both know what would happen if I started to comment – I would leave one, then two, then three remarks then I would get your e-mail address and cyber stalk you for more chapters, for a preview of the next installment. I would pressure you to write more, write more often, write more *****, just write more. So we both know that it is better if I just stay here in the dark and read, drool, bang my head on the desk, all things an addict does.

There are two activities I can engage in to alleviate my depression. One is to ex-lax revenge on HER. I think I will write HER into my story, give her some bad food, have her get food poisoning and a wicked case of diarrhea – IN PUBLIC. Yea, thats good. Then after she runs (pun very much intended!) to the bathroom and hurriedly enters a stall without checking, Ill have her be without toilet paper. Shell sit there for a few minutes before someone comes in and shell wish she had grabbed her purse which had a small bottle of perfume shes thinking might be a good idea about now. OK, someone comes in gives her some more paper and when she finishes, she will have a small piece still attached to the bottom of her shoe as she confidently walks out the door. Yea, that should do it. Thatll teach her to leave me.

The other thing I can do for my depression is go shopping and rent *****. Yea, thats what Ill do later. I better put batteries on my list . .

Now before you start this chapter I gotta tell you again because some of you keep forgetting that this is JUST A STORY — NO BETTE -N-TINA SUGAR HERE although they and other L stuff are mentioned. Writing this story is a side effect of the reading addiction – I cant help myself – it passes the time until THE OTHER ONE writes another chapter. If you havent been following along you will be lost and you will not like it. Things that happen in each chapter are related to things that happen or are said in earlier chapters – eventually all dots are connected. So catch up or turn around – be happy and dont torture yourself – read or hit the back button . . . )








We are at the hospice, pulling up to the service entrance to unload Shorts stuff for the Shrimp Fired Rice show. Darryl and Michael are already here. Im still very much hung over from my 10 rounds with Jose Cuervo last night, but Ill suck it up – weve got a show to do.

By the way, I suggest. You gotta tell Michael about the Cheerio blonde joke – – he said they were donut HOLES last show – the joke is donut SEEDS. Its not funny if he doesnt get it right.

You tell, him, hon, I dont have time for that part of the show.

Well, what do you think about changing from blonde jokes to old people or redneck jokes – -like The man is so old he takes Viagra so he doesnt pee on his shoes. or . .. The one where the 90 year old man wants to spice up his love life so he wraps himself up in nothing but clear see-through cellophane and his wife says, Honey I knew you were always crazy but now I see your NUTS! Get it –see your nuts –through the wrap – get it??

Ok, ok, ok, I got it but you need to talk with Michael about the jokes – Im strictly singing.

Fine, Ill talk with Michael, I pouted like a disappointed child brushed aside by a busy parent.

I helped him unload the car, helped with his costumes – I love the 80s show – its so upbeat and fun and theres so much dancing and the outfits are so outrageous. Yea, I love the 80s show.

Once inside the facility, I had an hour to kill so I went to the cafeteria to chat with all those coming down early to get a seat at the show. I was thinking I should probably try to eat something, but then again maybe not.

As I entered the eatery I saw Treys dad at the back of the room talking with a female doctor, I presumed. She had the white lab coat, stethoscope around her neck and was carrying a clipboard. ( His dad comes to every Tuesday show without telling his son – Im so weary of the insidious games those two play)

When he saw me, he waved, whispered something to the doctor and left. I watched him walk out but was much more interested in the doc. She had some short wild blonde hair and a familiar look to her – like I had met her before. She reminded me of Shane and I made a mental note to tell Shorts about that. Some of the fellows I was about to join for a snack watched me watch her and chuckled with amusement.

Hey, Lefty, you look a little pale, one shouted to me. Maybe you should call that doctor on over here to check you out !! The table all laughed as they told me to sit.

Shes kind of hot looking, I commented. Is she my type?

If you mean is she *****, yep. But shes definitely not your type, another guy said. Most of the people who knew me knew that my type was (1) of consenting age (2) not too bright (3) not to be seen again – relationships were not something I preferred to do these days.

She looks familiar, I said ignoring their not your type comment. Whats her story?

Girl, we dont know her story and we dont want to know, said a third one at the table. All I know is that since she came in this morning she has been singing and humming that stupid Dave Mathew song and its driving us all crazy. !

What Dave Mathews song? I asked.

Oh girl, you know which one – that ball and chain crash thing. She just keeps singing Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me . . and its about to drive us all bats-in-the-belfry crazy.

For some strange reason the mention of the words of the song made me blush and I could feel my face heat up. I dont know why and I hope no one noticed!

While I was sitting with the boys — several were patients and several were friends visiting those patients but all were ***** beyond belief ~~I decided to get more opinions on ***** guys and the L Word. I wanted to know why they watched.

Do you guys watch that new ***** series on Showtime the L Word? I asked.

You would have thought a teen idol walked into the room the way those guys all started gushing and ranting and raving all at the same time ! They were all SSOOOO *****.

Oh my gawd sweetie, RELIGIOUSLY– yes we watch. Those women are hot, hot, hot.

What do you mean? I continue to ask in amazement and amusement. Why are ***** guys interested in hot ***** women?

Listen sister, its not about wanting to see them all up in each other- not like that — its about the stories — the love stories.

Yea, most of us here are suckers for good romance, unrequited love, the pursuit of happiness, all that jazz. And the Bette and Tina on-again-off-again relationship is captivating to say the least and one that will go on forever.

As it should in any good soap opera! Come on girl, you can relate to watching a good story and fretting over when and where the lovers will get together and whether or not they will stay together and survive all the obstacles thrown their way. Think about it – who were some of our favs?

You know, I said, you guys are right. The show is addictive because we keep going back for more drama which we know is going to go on and on. Now dont laugh but I can remember getting that feeling at an early age – my first real obsession had to be Lara and Yuri – any of you youngsters remember Dr. Zchivago?

Oh my gawd girl you ARE old ! But I do remember that one – Omar Sharif was hot in all that ice and snow and writing love poems — obsessive love –my favorite kind!

We sat around and chatted excitedly about the screen lovers we ached for over the years — not just the movies but the tv ones too — the DA and the Pizza Man on Hill street Blues, the lawyers of LA Law, pick any of the daily soap opera love stories that have endured over the years – literally years. There was just something about wanting to watch and hoping for a happy ending- no matter how long it took.

I dont know the secret attraction Shorts has with Shane, but I am sure it is based on the same feelings we all have about the characters we relate to – we feel we have something in common with them- we want them to find happiness and to be happy. I want Shorts to be happy. I want him and Shane to be able to talk and relate – I want to help make that happen — Ill endure a little Smack — its time to pack the Winnebago.

Hey guys, did Trey tell you that he and I are going to Vancouver in a few weeks to a casting call for the L. Talk about obsessive !!

Everyone knew Shorts was sick and the mention of this trip sounded like an excellent idea – they thought it would be good for him.

Oh my gawd sweetie, that sounds off the hook.! You know that means pictures and autographs for all here. Hey what about the Tuesday show.?

No need to worry about a thing, boys. Shorts talked t that hunky fireman about joining the group. The guy is big, bulky , beautiful and can really sing. Trust me, you will love him. So Shrimp Fried Rice will become BEEF Fried Rice until we get back ! Everything will be fine and YES we will get pictures and autographs for everyone.

Lefty, you are the best. Now give us a hint – whats the show today?

You know I cant reveal anything but I will say that I helped him carry a couple of umbrellas!

The table began to scream and screech again like little easter chicks – – they knew if Shorts had an umbrella it would be RAINING MEN during the show – thus the music of the 70 and 80s – one of their favorites.!

I excused myself from the table – it was time to punk the mark with the hand joke. I still wasnt feeling very well so I wanted to get this over with quickly.

I also need to find Treys dad and let him know about the trip – it was important for him to know where we were in case Trey took a turn for the worse. I really was starting to get fired up about going.

Several minutes later with all my missions accomplished I stood in the back of the small auditorium and waited impatiently as the lights went out. Before it got too dark I once again noticed the blonde haired doctor across the room, chatting with several nurses. I was having a Harry Chapin experience . . . something about her was familiar, I could swear Id seen her face before . . .

But before I could stroll over and casually introduce myself, the spotlights began to circle — the emcee shouted — the place was clapping and rocking and chanting SHRIMP FRIED RICE –SHRIMP FRIED RICE –SHRIMP FRIED RICE. . .

All of a sudden its dark – totally pitch black — the place falls silent–then Shorts started to sing AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID, I WAS PETRIFIED

The place erupted with resounding whoops and hollers and deafening applause . .

KEPT THINKING I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE

Yea, the 80s was the best show . . .

BUT THEN I SPENT SO MANY NIGHT THINKING HOW YOU DID ME WRONG ..


Take it from Gloria Gaynor, I WILL SURVIVE and Im headed to L . . .


AND I GREW STRONG AND I LEANED HOW TO GET ALONG . . . .



TBC . .