(I cant talk about HER anymore. I have accepted the fact that SHE has deserted me-US and so should you. I have moved on and so should you- I have found ANOTHER – it was hard because there are so many, many, many good ones from which to choose. You need to find another, too, I dare you.
I cant do it any more, SHE has broken me. I need a donut, a Dew and more time to read, to read as much as I can to take my mind off HER, so this story has to end and end soon. The OTHER ONE is very good, too , funny, a bit mushy, but hey, then so was SHE.)










I pulled the Winnebago in front of Shorts condo, sitting there not wanting to honk the horn at 8:00 am. Yesterdays show at the hospice was emotionally draining for me as I was beginning to worry more and more about his declining health. Trey was reassuring as always and even provided a contact list of doctors in each city on our itinerary he could call in an emergency. Still, I worried.

Mr. Short had given me a number to call if there was a problem. He worried, too.

Within minutes of my arrival, Smack, Shorts Italian Greyhound, came trotting toward me as I leaned against the side of the camper. When he saw me staring at him, his pace slowed, taking each step with a deliberate purpose, his eyes locked with mine. He approached the Winni cautiously stopping several feet from me — our eyes still holding each others gaze, neither of us about to blink first.

As he slowly raised his back right leg, I slowly raised my index finger as if to say toot and youre swimming with the fishes, dirt bag. The battle of wills had commenced, both of us prepared to make a statement, to take control, to come away victorious.

He raised his leg a little higher and began to pant. I raised my finger and pointed it directly at him waving it slowly and saying Uh, Uh. Again both of us froze, neither giving an inch. And then the distraction – Smacks window of opportunity !

Hey, come help me with my bags, Shorts yelled from the stairwell. I turned my head just for a fraction of a second – thats all it took — Smack made his move. I didnt SEE the attack, but I HEARD it (~~DAMMIT TREY~~), that distinctive sound of passing gas.
(~~MOTHER ***** ~~~)!!

Before I could react, he took off, running toward Shorts, tail wagging, tongue dragging, yapping and jumping like a moron who just pulled a fast one (or in his case just pulled my finger!) (~~RAT *****~~). He was a happy dog – for now. Something had to be done and I had six weeks to figure out what.

I walked up to the steps to help Shorts with his luggage. Me – I brought two duffle bags — one with lingerie and toiletries and one with shorts, shirts, one pair of jeans and a sweater. I figured we would encounter laundry mats and Wal-Marts along the way.

Shorts — four suitcases, two overnight bags and a huge pink Power Puff Girls lunch box filled with prescription drugs. Youd think we were heading overseas for six month instead of cross country for six weeks.

What the *****, sister, I whined as I helped load the load.

Hey, I need my things, so just shut your trap, pack it in there and lets roll. I gotta grab the laptop and dog chow and were off. You got the music, right?

The Winni was equipped with satellite radio but we still had our collection of specially made Cds.

Yea, the music is solid, but whats up with the computer? I asked.

Shorts returned with a 5 lb bag of Fit and Trim (~~WHAT THE *****?~~~THATLL LAST US TO THE NEXT REST STOP!) and the portable Dell.

How on earth do you think we will be able to keep up with the stories? No way I could go six days let alone six weeks without a FAN FIC fix.

What stories? What FAN FIC *****? What on earth do you mean? I mocked him!

Shorts had just finished putting away the last piece of luggage and stepped out of
the vehicle, hands on hips looking at me as if I had committed a cardinal sin (or should I say ANOTHER cardinal sin).

Paaleeze do not tell me that you havent been reading the stories. You ***** knucklehead, I gave you the website info weeks ago so you could log on, catch up and get geeked about the Show. What have you been doing?

The knucklehead comment seemed to jog my memory a bit – I hated when he called me that – and I recalled taping a piece of a bar napkin to the screen of my computer. Unbelievable but true that paper is still there as I havent used the thing in months – no need.

Guilty, Judge Judy I confessed. I have that web address taped to my computer, hon, I just never went there. I totally forgot what it was for and just never checked it out. Dont get your briefs in a wedgie- you can fill me in along the way – weve got time.

Ya know, youre irresponsibility is a direct result of that drinking habit of yours, and I hope youre not planning to become irresponsible on this trip.

Shortstack, its just a website, relax, you will let me know all about it – I dont think we should start this trip on such a negative and crabby note.

Oh gawd, youre right sweetie. Im sorry. Lets see, everything is ready. SMACK, get in the car — he thinks every vehicle is a car — isnt that cute (~~YEA, CUTE AS BABY *****~~).

The dog stood beside us as Shorts and I hugged and wished each other a safe, successful journey.

Got the tape, he asked.

Yep I replied. Its time to recite the Pledge of Allegiance a little ritual we would perform each morning of the trip.

We stood beside the camper, right hands (or right stumps) over our hearts – Smack with his right paw lifted in the air. We began to speak in unison . . . I pledge allegiance to the music of the hallowed streets of Broadway. With that being said I popped the tape into the player and Shorts and I sang along as Ethel Merman belted out THERES NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS APPEALING, EVERTHING THAT TRAFFIC WILL ALLOW. NOWHERE COULD YOU GET THAT HAPPY FEELING WHEN YOU ARE STEALING THAT EXTRA BOW. THERES NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE, THEY SMILE WHEN THEY ARE LOW . . . . . . . LETS GO ON WITH THE SHOW!

As we all piled into the camper, ready to begin our journey to L and back, I noticed someone sitting in an olive green Nissan Altima across the street, reading the morning paper. I thought it strange at the time, but gave it nary a second thought. My mind was preoccupied with other things.

We were in no hurry to get to each destination, but we did have certain commitments along the way. As much as I would have liked to have taken the back roads and scenic routes, I told Shorts I would prefer to stick to the highway in case something happened to the camper or to him. Reluctantly, he agreed, knowing that was the best idea.

We were going to head up I-4 through Orlando – meeting a few Disney cast members (thats what Disney employees are called) for brunch. Nearly every stop involved us seeing friends of Treys – presumably for the last time. After chow we were headed over to Daytona and up I-95 hoping to make Savannah by dusk. We had dinner reservations at the Crystal Beer Palace in the historic district. and wanted to do a little sightseeing before dark – hopefully get a Midnight tour – a bus tour taking you to the places mentioned in John Berendts book-made-into-movie Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

Since we had Smack with us not very many places would take us in so after dinner and the tour we stayed at a rest stop back on I-95. The next day we were heading to Wilmington, NC. I have a brother living just outside there we will visit and we have a casting call for a local commercial on Friday – shooting on Saturday if we get the job. Wilmington is very bohemian and a big movie town on the east coast. We are staying at a camp ground on Wrightsville Beach just a few miles from the city.

Talk between us along the way so far was minimal but significant. We discussed the details of each impending stop, the people we were to see making sure we were up-to-date on their lives. We slept while the other drove or listened to music in silence. So far the trip was everything it was supposed to be.

At the campground in North Carolina, Shorts decided it was time to break out the FAN FIC stories .While we sat around a small fire and roasted wienies and marshmallows, he briefed me on the history of the site then began reading some of the tales. Within an hour I was mesmerized, hooked, longing for more after each chapter he read. I had never experienced such a site as this FAN FIC thing and before the night was over, I was addicted. Having Shorts read stories while I drove during the rest of the trip was a must.

This is how its going . . . time is flying by and we should be in Vancouver sooner than we think . Tomorrow the casting call for the local commercial – a car dealership filming on the beach looking for family types to play in the background. Yea, me, Shorts and Smack – one big happy family !! Then we are off to New York . . .

TBC