“What did you do with your ring?”

Bette looked down at her feet, dangling just above the water, skimming her toes across the top with every other swing of her legs. She didn’t know how to answer Tina’s question, because she knew the answer probably wasn’t what Tina wanted to hear.

“Baby? Tina said softly.

“Tina…I…I’m so sorry…” Bette blew out a breath.

Tina stiffened, and her eyes filled with tears. Bette’s reaction could only mean one thing, that Bette hadn’t kept her ring. A tear fell down her cheek, as she wondered if Bette had lost it, or if she had just thrown in away. “Oh God Bette…” She started to back peddle, all of a sudden feeling foolish for the story she had just shared. “It’s Ok, there’s no reason for you to have kept it. I mean…I guess…I was just a little more sentimental is all. It’s no big deal…really.”

Bette’s head whipped up, “Oh God Baby, no! I still have my ring.”

“You do?” Tina whispered. The relief that she was feeling was palpable. Her tears started falling as she quietly cried. “God Bette…I thought that you had thrown it away.”

Bette reached over and put her arm around Tina. “Tina, I will always have the ring. I was just trying to apologize to you, because even though I still have it, I haven’t kept it physically close to me, like you have.” She reached out and rubbed the locket. “Your story of this locket and your ring is so romantic…so full of love and hope. I want to be able to share the same kind of story with you, but I can’t. But Baby, I do still have my ring…I will never let go of it.”

Bette held Tina, feeling guilty for causing her pain, even if it was unintentional. “Tina, look at me.” She put her finger under Tina’s chin and guided her face so their eyes could connect. “I could never even think about throwing my ring away. That would be like throwing away everything that you and I shared…and that, would be an impossible task. A task that has never entered my mind. In fact, it’s just the opposite. I have thought about what we had, in some small way or another, every day of my life. All I have to do is see the name of the gallery to remind me…but I don’t need that as a reminder, because I have so many memories to draw on. And it was those memories that helped me to be a better partner to Nica…and in the end, it was because of my love for you, and for her that I had to do what I did.”

“Well, what did you do with it?” Tina was curious now. If the ring wasn’t physically close to Bette, where was it?

Bette turned back towards the water, but reached out and took hold of Tina’s hand. “Well, in the beginning I wanted it…no, I needed it close to me…like what you were talking about. I needed the comfort of having it there with me, yet it was so painful to look at all the time. It brought me great comfort, but it also reminded me of my failures as well. I use to keep it in my jewelry box. That way I could see it every morning when I would get dressed for work.” Bette smiled. “Every morning I would pick it up and rub it, say my little daily mantra, and put it back in the box.”

Without even realizing she was interrupting, Tina whispered…”Your daily mantra?”

Bette laughed. “Well, I know this sounds a little silly, but every morning while I held the ring, I would look in the dresser mirror, and say out loud…” Bette stopped and closed her eyes. She lowered her voice and the sound was so soft…so full of hope. “Today I will be the Bette Porter that Tina fell in love with. Today I will be the Bette Porter that I fell in love with. My life IS a life of abundance, and today I will give of it freely…without expectation.”

Tina didn’t say anything. She just leaned over and gently kissed Bette on the cheek.

Bette smiled at her and continued. “By doing that, I was able to feel the comfort I needed, but at the same time, I wasn’t looking at it all day, reminding myself of my mistakes. I did that for months. In fact, I did that out loud every day up until…well, up until the first time Nica spent the night with me. She was still laying in bed while I was getting dressed for work. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so from then on, I would still say it, but just silently in my head.” Bette stopped for a moment, gathering her thoughts, looking out at the lake. “One day I came into the bedroom and Nica was standing in front of the dresser, with the ring in her hand, crying. She had gone into look for a pair of earrings that she wanted to borrow, and had found the ring. It wasn’t hard to miss, as it was sitting right on top. She looked at me and said that she had noticed that every day, after putting on my jewelry, I stood in front of the mirror with my eyes closed, not moving…and had always wondered what I was doing. She had never asked though, because she said it looked like it was a very private thing, and she didn’t want to intrude.”

Bette’s eyes filled with tears, remembering the look on Nica’s face as she held the ring, that had been given to her partner by another woman. “Don’t get me wrong, Nica was always happy for me where your love was concerned, but I think it still hurt her seeing that ring sitting there, obviously still holding a very prominent place in my life.” Bette looked at Tina. “Baby, I’m sorry, but I just didn’t want to hurt Nica. I wanted her to know how much I loved her, and how much I wanted my future to be with her. And I did want that…So, the next day, I took the ring and put it in my safety deposit box. It has been there ever since, safe and sound…it may not be physically close to me, but T…I can still feel it…and it still gives me comfort when I need it.”

It was Tina’s turn to reach over and put her arm around Bette. She laid her head on her shoulder. “Oh Baby…you couldn’t be more wrong.”

Bette turned to Tina, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Your story is just as full of romance, love and hope as mine. Whether it is about your love for me, or for Nica…it is still a love story Bette. I love you…and Baby…you are the Bette Porter that I fell in love with.”

Bette smiled and felt her eyes filled with tears. “Thank you T.”

tbc