Bette woke up and rolled onto her side, next to her lay Candace. Suddenly last nights events ran through her head.
– the confrontation
– the desperate attempts to apologise
– the intense anger
– then the desperate and angry *****

~ ***** bette what Im I doing?~ she had asked herself this question many times during her affair, and every time she asked herself she had no answer..

Tina had left last night, she had overpowered bette then simply got up and walked out the house- their home, that they had made love in, laughed in, argued in. the home that they had called there own

Then bette did the one thing that had started all this from the start, she went to Candace, she didnt know why
( *****? Comfort? To lose all control?) she wondered where tina would be hoping she was alright. Alright ~how the ***** could she be alright, her wife and soul mate ..ME.. Had broken all the things we had made together just thrown it away~

Candance stirred, she looked over to bette how are you feeling bette?

Bette closed her eyes for a moment, she felt sick fucked candance thats exactly how I feel

Candace sighed not knowing what to do is there anything I can do?

Bette just stood up and gathered her clothes she needed to get out of here. She knew Candace wasnt to blame entirely, she knew she was the one that had a wife and ( what used to be an ideal, loving relationship) but she needed and wanted to place the blame elsewhere so at the moment she placed it on Candace

The anger was rising in bettes body every inch of her was burning with it
ive got to get out of here, DONT contact me in anyway Candace and I mean that. JustDONT

Before Candace had the chance to reply bette was out of the bedroom and with a loud bang, obviously out of the apartment as well ***** Candace said placing her head back down on the pillow, tears forming in her eyes, she stopped them from falling.. As Candace jewel was not one to cry.


Bette got into her car started the ignition and turned on the radio..

* temptation falls in your path, no hesitation why you ask
You have another waiting at home
And yes she matters to you*

Bette listened to the lyrics of the song, so strong so meaningful in the present moment to her.
She had to pull over and she broke down tears furiously falling, as the song played on.


*Kind of woman thatll haunt you
She matters to you

You didnt mean to meet her you cry
But as the sun goes down every night
She came to you when you were alone
And yes she matters to you
Kind of woman thatll haunt you
She matters to you

I promised myself..a long time ago
It would be difficult to let you go
If not atleast within
The touch of my fingers-
It was close to being
In heaven
Kind of woman thatll haunt you
To being in heaven
Kind of woman thatll haunt you
Is to bein heaven
Kind of woman thatll haunt you
I know I know*


She was broken. Totally broken. Some almost silent words escaped her lips as she continued to sob wrathfully.. what have I done ….