Bette laid on the bed, trying to decide whether or not she wanted to take a shower at that moment.

Nothing like the present she said out loud as she heaved her body off of the bed.

She walked into the bedroom while stripping out of her night clothes. As she waited for the shower to get to the desired temperature, she looked at her nude body in the mirror.

Do I look as old as I feel right now? she asked herself. With no answer forthcoming, she stepped into the shower, making it as hot as possible to try and scald the tiredness that she was feeling out of her body.

My bodys response to the conversations with T last night she thought to herself. “I’m not just doing a number on my mind with all of this, but pulling my body right along for the ride…”

She thought back to last night, allowing her mind to focus on their conversations for a short period. Tinas admission as to how Bettes infidelity had impacted her, was painful to say the least, to hear. She knew that if the roles were reversed, she would have no idea of what her reaction would be, but that allowing Tina a second chance would probably not have been likely.

Thats nice she muttered. Here is Tina, trying to make things right between the two of you, and all you can think is that you dont know if you would have given her a second chance? her mind asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders and turned the water off. Her somewhat desperate confession as to how she herself had been feeling came from a place that Bette did not visit often. It was a place that was closely guarded, admittance coming at a high price.

She probably thinks that I am insane after what I said to her she continued to think while reaching for a towel.

Maybe I am she said into the towel she was using to dry her face off with.

Having gotten relatively dry, she reached for her robe and tied it tightly around herself. Leaving the bathroom, she was immediately hit with the delicious smells of Tinas cooking.

The aroma caused a small smile on Bettes face, thinking how much she had missed this simple sensation during the almost 8 months that they were apart.

She followed the smells, getting stronger as she walked towards the kitchen. Upon arrival, she saw Tina, standing in front of the stove, stirring what Bette figured was a skillet filled with eggs.

She walked up behind Tina and put her arms around her waist, resting her head on her shoulder. Not having heard her coming in, Tina jumped slightly, but then just allowed her body to relax into Bettes.

Hey she said, turning her head to kiss Bette lightly on the cheek.

Hey

Hungry? asked Tina.

Well, for our sake I certainly hope so. Good Lord, T she chuckled as she surveyed the amount of eggs and bacon being prepared. How many people are you planning on feeding this morning?

Well smiled Tina, I just wanted to be sure that I didnt send you off hungry.

From the contents of those two pans, I’d say no fear of that happening laughed Bette.

Coffee? asked Tina.

Please she replied, walking over to the kitchen table to sit and read the paper that Tina had retrieved from the front door.

Tina brought a cup of coffee over and placed it in front of Bette.

Thanks said Bette, not looking up from the paper.

She paused by Bettes side, allowing her fingers to run through her wet hair. With a slight tug on her hair, Bette raised her head to look up at Tina. Tina bent down and placed a lingering kiss on her lips, which Bette returned. Tina then sighed, pulling away from her and returned to the stove to finish breakfast.

Bette watched her retreat while feeling the effect of the kiss run its course through her body.

She sighed as well and returned to her paper.

In a matter of minutes, Tina was placing a plate in front of Bette. She did the same thing for herself and joined Bette at the table.

This looks great T Bette happily said as she picked up a forkful of eggs and then began to eat.

Good baby, Im glad you like it!

Tina watched Bette, trying to reconcile the woman that had fallen apart in front of her last night with the somewhat playful person seated across the table from her right now. There is a huge gap between those two people thought Tina.

Bette?

Hmm? said Bette, still reading from the paper that she had put down on the table next to her plate.

Bette said Tina again. This time, she got her desired response as Bette lifted her head from the paper and looked at Tina.

What? she asked.

I Tina started to say.

Bette just watched her, waiting to hear what she had to say.

Did you mean what you said last night? she softly asked.

T, can you be a little more specific for me than that? A lot of things were said last night…

While continuing to look Bette directly in the eyes she said, The part about hating yourself she quietly added.

Bette put her fork down and while continuing to look back at Tina, said, Yes, yes I did. I meant every word of it.

Tina lowered her eyes from Bettes face, the expression on her own face clearly one of pain.

Baby, that breaks my heart. I can not tell you what it does to hear you say those words. I mean, in all of the ***** that has happened between the two of us, I never once hated you, maybe didnt like you a whole lot, but never hated you she emotionally explained. And to hear you say that you hated yourself she trailed off. I dont know she said, it is almost harder to think about that than thinking about you being with her.

Why Tina? I mean, that can not surprise you. Do you actually think that I liked the person that I became? she asked, anger rising in her voice.

I was a ***** mess, before and after Candace, and trust me, there was nothing there in my behavior not worthy of abhorring

Bette said Tina in a placating tone intended to bring Bette down a bit from the aggressive direction that she was heading.

I guess that the Bette Porter that I knew would have never have hated herself, regardless of the situation she tried to clarify.

The Bette Porter that you knew did not exist during this time she quietly explained. I dont know what happened to her, but she went away for a while and was replaced by an imposter that almost successfully destroyed the life that she had built with her partner over the last 7 years.

Do you still feel that way sometimes, the hatred I mean? asked Tina, somewhat afraid of her answer.

Bette took a deep breath and said, No, actually I dont T.

Relieved at the response, Tina asked, Whats changed?

Well, to start off with, as hokey as it sounds, I have done quite a bit of soul searching the last 6 months and quite frankly, was not really happy with the results.

What do you mean, baby? asked Tina.

Well, when I examined my behavior over the last year plus, the descriptors that I came up with were not very appealing.

Such as?

Such as self centered, self righteous, self absorbed, self important, egotistical, ego centric-

Ok, I get it said Tina, cutting her off. I get it baby she softened.

After a pause, Bette said, Thats a lot of self and ego references, T said Bette, somewhat embarrassed by the admission.

So, back to what I asked before, what changed?

Tina, losing you was the rude awakening that I needed to get me going in the process of trying to change some of those descriptors. I found that as time passed, and the more effort I put into working on myself, the more that those adjectives did not really apply to me any longer.

Of course she continued, Id imagine that some of them could at times still be used she said through a smile.

Tina looked over at Bette, reached across the table and picked up Bettes hand, holding it tightly in her own.

Baby? she said.

Bette just looked at her, not saying anything.

I have always found you to be one of the most remarkable and amazing human beings that I have ever met said Tina. I am sure that that is why I, from the beginning, was so attracted to you. Well thatand your heart stopping looks may have played a slight role in my immediate attraction to you as well she teased Bette through a smile.

The point is she continued, you have never failed to amaze me and the work that you have put into yourself, is just another example of that. I guess she paused. I guess that that is why it was so hard to hear you say that there was a time that you had hated yourself. It is just not the Bette Porter that I know and love.

I hope that the Bette Porter that you know and love is truly back, T, cause God knows, shes trying

Shes back, baby said Tina. Trust me on that, shes back she said through a smile meant only for Bette.

Eat encouraged Tina.

She released Bettes hand and motioned for her to eat. Bette did as told until she had cleaned her plate.

Wow she said, looking down at her empty plate. I guess that I was pretty hungry.

Uh huh, Miss How Many People Do You Plan on Feeding laughed Tina.

Smartass smiled Bette, placing her napkin down on the table next to her plate. She stood up and took her plate over to the sink and when she turned the water on, heard Tina say, Leave it, baby, Ill clean up. You have to finish getting ready for work.

Go on, baby said Tina, turning and pushing Bette towards the door of the kitchen.

Ok, ok laughed Bette, but not before turning around and pulling Tina into a warm full body embrace. She held her, letting their bodies meld into each other, so tight was the embrace that from a distance, they could have appeared to be one. Neither said a word. Tina wrapped her arms around Bettes neck and just allowed Bette to hold her.

This hug, though it could have easily turned that way if allowed, was not one born of passion. No, it was a show of reassurance, both requiring from the other the knowledge that they were needed by one another. It was an exhibit of strength and fortitude that as a couple, they could take on all of the demons, those of their own creation as well as those that were heaped upon them from the outside world, take them on and slay them. And lastly, it was a demonstration of their love. It was as pure as it was simple. It was just about the love that these two women shared for the other, exhibited in the simplicity of the gesture of this hug.