Work was ***** today. I should be basking in the glow of Provocations’ success, but it only reminds me of last night. I use to love the morning after an exhibit, my ego could never receive enough congratulations. After being told how wonderful I am all day I would go home to Tina and she too would tell me how wonderful I am. It was euphoria for me.

But today I couldn’t enjoy all the congratulations, they felt undeserved. Then to top things off, Candance came by my office. She had a look in her eye that meant she was expecting *****, but I just looked at her and solemnly said “Tina knows. She saw us. I don’t know where exactly, but she said she did. So I can’t do this anymore, I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. I don’t know what the ***** I was thinking.”

She began to reply, but before she could get anything out, I cut her off. “I don’t want to see you again. Please just leave me alone.” She nodded and left. I kind of expected her to put up more of a fight than that, but then I reminded myself that’s not what I need to focus on. I need to focus on Tina and what will be a very long road back to redemption.

I came home early and after I got myself settled I noticed there was a message on the machine. I stared at the blinking red one, afraid. “What if it’s Tina?” I nervously asked myself. After debating whether or not to listen to it for a longer time than necessary, I reluctantly push the play button.

“Bette, it’s Alice.” Relief and disappointment hit me at the same time. “Tina’s at my place. I figured you should know, though she doesn’t want to talk to you or see you right now. Which is understandable. I didn’t call to lecture though, I just wanted you to know. We’ll talk later. Bye.”

There was obvious disappointment in Alice’s voice. I sigh and go to the bedroom and begin to undress. Though it’s pretty early in the evening my body is heavy with fatigue. I lay down staring at Tina’s side of the bed. There’s still an indent on her feather pillow and I decide not to disturb it. That’s all that’s left of her presence right now, an indent on the pillow. Without realizing it tears begin to flow down my face. I try to stop, but I can’t.

I don’t know how long I’ve been crying, but I feel someone lay down behind me and wrap their arms around my waist. A head rests on the back of my shoulder, and I know who it is. “Tina.” I whisper through my tears. I roll over and look directly into her eyes, running my hand along her smooth cheek. “You came back. Baby I…”

“Shh.” She cuts me off. “Bette, please, just make love to me. Just make it all go away.” I begin to kiss her softly, afraid to be aggressive in any way. I pull back and look at her, “You’re so beautiful.” I whisper. She smiles and kisses me. We slowly begin to undress each other, and my hands roam over her entire body. I cannot get enough of her. I trace a path with my lips down to her neck and begin to gently fondle her left breast. I move my hand from her breast slowly down and rest my hand on her stomach. “Bette.” She softly moans. I begin to kiss her again and she has both her hands on the back of my neck, and they move their way down to the small of my back.
“I love you.” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
I move my hand down so that I am rubbing her *****, and she moans with pleasure. But before I enter her with my fingers she says in a voice not her own, “Bette, wake up.”

“Huh?” I look up at her confused. She smiles.

“Wake up Bette. Bette, Bette, WAKE UP.”

My eyes snap open and my head jerks up off the pillow, my body tenses. I sigh with disappointment. It was only a dream. I look up at the figure towering over the bed and let my body relax and lay my head back down on the pillow.

“Hi Alice.”