Candance continues to look at me making fawn eyes, probably trying to evoke sympathy from me, but to no avail. Her timing really couldn’t have been worse. All this has done is set me back when I wasn’t even ahead. Getting Tina back is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

“Can I come in for a minute?” Candace inquires, beginning to step into the house.

I step in front of her before she can go any further. “No.” I firmly state.

“Okay…Bette, I’m not here to try and beg for you to be with me. I know that all I ever was or ever will be is ‘the other woman,’ but you know that I am not the only one to blame for all of this. I just want to clear the air, because I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” I respond while looking down. “I just can’t have you in my life at all. Not if I am trying to get Tina back into it. I made a mistake Candance, a very poor error in judgement. I just need to focus on gaining back my wife’s trust. It may take the rest of my life, but even if I have to wait forever, I will… I just hope I didn’t hurt you.” I look back up at her and see in her expression that she is indeed, hurt.

“I’ll survive Bette.” She softly says, “Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.” She turns and walks away, and before she has even made her way off the porch, I shut the door.

“*****.” I utter, leaning against the door. “What the ***** has my life become?” I pull myself together and walk over towards the kitchen table. After contemplating what to do next, I finally decide the only way I can truly articulate to Tina what I feel is by a letter. So I grab some stationary and a pen that is conveniantly on the table and begin to write.

My Beloved Tina-

For the past seven years of my life, you have been my entire world, my reason for being. That never changed, I swear, yet somehow it felt as if we became lost during this last year of our relationship. Lost in what exactly? That I cannot answer with certainty, but we were not the Bette and Tina we once were, and were meant to always be.

For lack of a better word, I feel so empty without you. The silence that runs throughout our home is something I cannot grow accustomed to, even if it only has been two days. Two days…I marvel at that, for it feels as if we’ve been seperated for an eternity. I need you darling, I need you more than I need to breathe, sleep or eat. The essentials to stay alive…yet I am not truly living if you’re not here by my side.

I made a mistake, this I surely know, but our relationship was headed towards disaster long before Candace. I just hope you can find it in that beautiful heart of yours to forgive my infidelity. I will spend the rest of my life doing whatever it is you ask of me, for I would wait ten life times for you to come back to me.

I will not use the tired old line “No one will ever love you like I do” to try and persuade your decision. I always found that line to be rather pompous. I wouldn’t be able to understand if no one else loved you as I do, because you are so easy to love. What I will say however, is that I will NEVER love another person the way I love you, it just isn’t possible, nor do I want it to be. You’re IT for me Tina, you are truly the only person I want in this world. I know you must think me a liar for saying this due to what I’ve done, but it is the absolute truth.

I just hope we can talk about this, because I am not willing to just give up on our relationship. If you love me as you always said you did, then I know that you are not willing to give up either, and that you are just furious with me right now. Which is completely understandable. I will always be waiting for you my darling, whether you need me right now, tomorrow or ten years from now, I’ll ALWAYS be here.

YOURS with love,
Bette



I put the pen down and feel satisfied with the letter, for I said everything I wanted to say. I fold the letter, rummage through some drawers in the kitchen for an envelope, seal it, and write “Tina” on the front. I grab my keys and head out the door, determined to give Tina this letter.

I pass by The Planet and notice Alice’s mini parked nearby. I park my Saab and walk into The Planet hoping to find Tina. Once I walk in, I immediately start scanning the room, with the letter in my hand. After what I feel to be sufficient search I decide she must not be here. I turn to leave but my attention is seized by a table in the corner that I didn’t look towards while searching the room. A table Tina is sitting at. A table she is not sitting alone at.

My heart begins to ache severely at what I see happening before me. Tina is passionately kissing another woman. A single tear burns its way down my cheek as I rush out of The Planet, and without realizing it, I drop the letter on my way out.

On the way home I don’t think I obeyed a single traffic law, in fact I’m surprised I didn’t crash into at least a few cars. I pull into my driveway with haste, and when I walk into the house I slam the door behind me.

I begin to pace around the living room angrily. Who the ***** was that woman she was kissing? How long has it been going on? Did she cheat too? Or was she just trying to get back at me? Or…my god is she moving on with her life? What if they fall in love? Or are they already in love? What if they have the family Tina and I never got the change to have? Have I lost her forever??

“What am I going to do?” I whisper to the empty room. As I continue pacing and assuming the worst, I notice there is another message on the machine. I suspect it’s just Alice or maybe Kit…who damn, I should call…so I press the play button.

“Hi, Bette? This is Christine, the waitress from last night.” Clarity: it clicks in my brain finally who the ***** Christine is, “I was just returning your call. I was surprised you did call, I didn’t think you were actually going to. But I’m glad you did. Jeez, I’m rambling. Well I assume you want to maybe go out since you did leave me a message saying so, but you know if you change your mind that’s okay. Anyway just call back if you want to get together.”

I sit down on the couch, and think about the message. She sounded cute, the way she rambled. But then that could be a bad thing too, she might be desperate. Or maybe she was just nervous. I’m not quite sure what I should do now, after what I just saw at The Planet.

I stare at the phone, trying to determine whether or not to call her back.