Come on Dana you can do this. Its simplejust knock her off the podium before shebefore sheSHIT before she knocks your ***** to the ground

Dana shook her head as she paced back and forth trying to psych herself up for the Joust. Dana knew the event was simple. The contender and the gladiator are both on pedestals about three feet in diameter with jousting sticks and the object of the game is to knock the gladiator off the pedestal before they can knock you off. Even if the contestant cannot knock the gladiator off the pedestal they can still earn points for their team by being able to stay on the pedestal for the full thirty seconds. Sounds easybut its not.

Dana glanced up at the place where she would soon be subjected to torture and she shook her head again. Damn this stupid gamewhy did I get this event? She sighed loudly as she sat down and began putting on her pads.

Come on Dane you can do this right?

Dana looked up at Alice who seemed to have even more energy than before if that was even possible. Alice was hopping around again like she was getting ready to run a marathon and just looking at her made Dana tired. Dana just hung her head and reached for her kneepads.

I dont know AlIm scaredwhat if I get knocked off?

Then you fall down and its not a big dealcome on Dane.you play tennisyou can do this

Yeah TENNIS Al. A game where the opponent is across the court not three feet away. And besides in Tennis the object is to knock the ball out no the opponent out.

Then there you go Danejust dont get knocked out.

Alice laughed a hearty laugh as Danas temper rose slightly. She was glad to do this for Tina and for the center but the last thing she needed was a five-foot nothing-totally uncoordinated-big mouth-pipsqueak telling her what to do. Dana jumped up and glared down at Alice.

So its that easy huh Al?

What?

Youre all talk and ***** I saw you in your event. You barely pulled that one out

Shove it Dana. I won my eventfair and square

By one point Alyou barely got through it alive

Well at least I won my eventlets see how you do in the joust baby!!!

Alice turned and huffed off after being shot down by Dana. True she had barely won the event, but she wanted Dana to be proud of her not critical of her accomplishment. Dana watched her walk away and she felt terrible for snapping at Alice but she couldnt help it. She was NERVOUS.

***** ***** *****, Dana thought as she paced back and forth under the pedestal where her fate would soon rest. Tina saw the commotion between Alice and Dana and she sent Bette after Alice while she walked up to Dana.

Hey Daneyou okay?

Yeah Im fine Tina.

You sure? Because you dont look fine

Dana sighed again as she finished putting on her pads and gave Tina the best puppy dog look she could muster. Tina just laughed her hearty laugh and put an arm around Dana to comfort her. A few minutes later Bette returned with Alice and all seemed well in the world again, including the fact that Shane had seemed to have snuck off with a cutie from the television studio.

WWHHHHHEETT

The referee blew her whistle hard signaling the start of the event. Dana had drawn the first slot in this event so she would be up against the gladiator first with her competitor watching from below. She climbed the stairs up to the pedestal and when she got up there the first thing she thought was that she was sure glad she wasnt afraid of heights. The second thing she thought was how she never realized how big the gladiators were up close. The gladiator standing no more than about five feet across her looked HUGE. She was about twice Danas size but it was pure muscle and Dana took a deep breath and prayed that she wouldnt get knocked unconscious.

CONTESTANT READY?.GLADIATOR READY?.BEGIN!!!

Everything happened so fast that Dana almost didnt have time to react. She clutched the jousting stick in her hand as if her life depended on it and before she knew what was happening the gladiator was swinging away mostly aiming for Danas head which she tried to keep moving so she wouldnt get struck dead on.

COME ON DANE YOU CAN DO IT!!!

The cheers of the family could be heard from below as Dana scampered about on the little three foot platform doing almost everything possible to avoid getting hit and avoid falling off. She thought about counter swinging a couple of times, but she was to scared to try for fear of losing her balance completely.

TEN MORE SECONDS DANE YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Uh huheasier said than done guys thought Dana as she ducked another swing by the gladiator. She knew they would get points if she stayed on for the whole thirty seconds but she wanted to win this event. She was a competitor. Dana watched the way the gladiator moved and saw her opening. Just as the gladiator took one last swing right before the buzzer went off, which Dana apparently didnt hear, she let out a battle cry that would have woken the dead as she lunged forward with all her might and caught the unsuspecting gladiator completely off guard.

What the.

The gladiator came tumbling down onto the crash mats and Dana stood there victorious. Alice, Tina and Bette were laughing so hard at Danas antics that Alice actually had to run to the bathroom to pee before she urinated all over everyone. Dana was utterly confused as she jumped down and she couldnt figure out why everyone was laughing at her, even the referees and the gladiator herself.

What?

Well it was a good shot Danabut unfortunately we dont get points for hitting them after its over

Dana understood Bettes remark and she immediately turned a deep red color as she ducked her head and ran off the arena floor. Alice was coming back from the bathroom and she was still cracking up at Danas mistake, which only made Dana want to hit her with all her might.

Okay Al its not that funny geez

You should have seen.your face was pricelessneed aircant breathe

Alice was doubling over with laughter as Dana saw one of the monitors backstage. She watched herself dance around on top of the pedestal like a crazy person doing some weird chicken dance mating ritual thingy and then just after the buzzer sounded she saw herself throw her body full speed ahead knocking the gladiator off her mark. Dana felt like such a dork

Hey

Dana turned around and came face to face with her gladiator opponent who was smiling at her.

HiI am so sorry about thatI didnt hear the buzzer

Its okayhappens all the timebesidesthe other chick didnt even last ten seconds. At least you can say you knocked a gladiator off in the joust

And with that the gladiator winked at Dana and headed for the locker room leaving Dana standing there with her mouth wide open. She laughed at herself once more before going back out and joining the family. Sure she didnt win the event but hey at least she lasted.

FEMANIST MAJORITY FOUNDATION – 21
HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE – 27