The cold water felt good on her skin. She scrubbed herself as if to rinse all the hurt and pain of the previous night. She tries to forget what happened at the opening of Provocations but the more she tried, the worse it gets. She couldnt stop seeing the image of her wife talking while leaning towards the carpenter. The carpenter, she thought. To think she was being a friend by helping at the centre when all it was was a cover up. Ive been blinded by her kindness? How could she do this? How could they do this to me? They played me like a fool. How could Bette do this to me? Shared the part of her that was meant only for me? Those lips, those hands, her body! Tina broke down in the shower and cried. Her body shook violently as the image of the two of them became clearer and clearer in her mind.

Alice was making coffee in her kitchen and made some toast for her and Tina. She sat at the counter while waiting for the coffee. She stood there thinking about the kiss she shared with Dana. How good it felt. And how surprised she was to have Dana kissed her back, more passionately than the first. Could it be? Im falling for my best friend? Does she feel the same way? What the ***** was I thinking? Dana is getting married to Tonya, would she leave her for me? Alice smiled, I hope she does for her sake! Tonya, the cat killer, how could she fall for her? How could she want to marry a killer? I wouldnt even breath the same air as her let alone share a bed!

The toast was done. Alice snapped back to reality. What is taking Tina so long? She walked over to the bathroom door. She knocked on the door, Tina honey? Are you ok in there? The toast is done and Ive made coffee. Just come out when youre ready. There was no reply.

Tina? Are you ok there? Still no reply.

Tina? Im coming in ok? Just then she heard Tina said something but she couldnt make it out.

Sorry what was that honey? I couldnt hear you

I said Ill be out in a minute said Tina.

Alice walked over to her kitchen sat down at her table and drank her coffee while waiting for Tina to come out.

The bathroom door opened. Tina was wrapped in a towel, Alice, I dont have anything to wear apart from what I have on last night. Is it ok if I wear your clothes?

Alice looked up at Tina. She never thought crying your eyes out was ever possible but when she looked at Tina, she knew that it was. Yeah Ill get something for you from my bedroom, come here. She led the way to her bedroom. Alice laid out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt for Tina and turned around to get back to her coffee. Get dressed and Ill have your coffee ready.

Tina dried her hair and put on what Alice has set for her. She looked at herself in the mirror and let out a heavy sigh. I have to get some clothes if I were to remain here. Her eyes were red from crying, her head feels heavy from the amount of alcohol she consumed the night before. She wishes she could just close her eyes and make all the pain n hurt disappear.

Alice was reading the paper when Tina appeared from the bedroom. Tina gave her a weak smile. Come and have some toast with me Tina. I know Im not much of a cook but everyone knows I make the best toast in town Alice said trying to cheer Tina a bit. Tina grabbed a stool and set next to Ailce.

Thanks Alice. Thanks for being such a good friend. She gave Alice a hug.

Hey come on now. You can stay here for as long as you want. Besides its not like I ever get laid anymore. Plus its nice to have someone around who doesnt give me the bullshit.

Tina raised her eyebrow knowing too well who she was talking about. How could Alice stand Gabby? She treated her like *****. And still she allowed Gabby to storm in and out of her life and accepting her with wide open arms.

They finished their food and Tina was contemplating asking Alice to take her to her house to get some clothes. What if Bette was there? She was not ready to face Bette. She hated the sight of her in her mind let alone seeing her face to face. A mental picture of Bette caused her to break down, she couldnt even begin to think what will happen if she was to face her. No, she thought. I cant see her yet can I? She frowned and this didnt go unnoticed by Alice.

You want to tell me about it? Alice asked. Tina looked up to see a concerned friend. She was lost in her own thoughts that she didnt realize Alice has been watching her.

Well, umm umm well, I was thinking maybe you can help me with something?

Anything

You know the situation Im in right now. And I dont think I can stay home with Bette around. And I was thinking if I can stay her for a little while?

Tina, I told you u can stay here. Im happy to have you here

Okay, but theres more. I was hoping you could drive us back to my house to grab some stuff cos I havent got anything to wear.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I cant just wear your clothes everyday

What? You dont like my wardrobe? Alice made a face.

Its not that silly, you know why. Alice nodded her head; Okay we can go in a few minutes if you want, but only if youre sure about this Tina gave Alice a kiss on the cheeks and that was all Alice needed as a go ahead.
—–
Bette was lying on the floor in front of the TV when she heard the phone ring. She didnt feel like talking to anyone so she just let the machine pick up.

Hey baby girl. Congratulations on your show! Sorry I left early I wanted to congratulate you in person but I couldnt find you anywhere last night. But Im sure Tina told you all about it. Well, you two are probably still doing your thing there so Ill just see you when I see you girl! with that Kit hung up.

Doing our thing? Bette thought. The last time we made love, no wait; it was pure desperate ***** last night in the bedroom. I forced myself with Tina last night. The thought of it made her want to throw up. She finally found the strength to stand up, ran to the bathroom and hung her head on the toilet. Her stomach squelched and what remained in her rushed out leaving her sprawled on the bathroom floor.
—–
The drive to Tinas house was rather quiet. Alice didnt know what to say for once. She kept quiet the whole ride while glancing at Tina every once in a while making sure she was ok. Tina, on the other hand, was staring blankly out the window lost in her own thoughts. They finally reached her home and Alice parked her car behind Bettes Saab. She turned the engine off and turned to Tina who was still looking out her window.

Tina are you sure about this? Cos if you arent, I can go inside and get them for you.

Tina turned to face Alice and her shoulder began to shake. Tears streaming down her face.

Hey, now dont cry. You can stay here and Ill get in ok? Do you want to stay in the car? Alice had Tina in her arms and she rubbed her hand on Tinas back trying to sooth her. Tina pulled back from the embrace and wiped the tears with the back of her hands.

Ok, so Ill go inside and you wait in the car Alice reassured with a smile. Tina just nodded and kept wiping her tears. Alice climbed out of her car and before she shut the door, she said, Now dont go driving away with my Mini and winked. Tina smiled on Alices attempt to make her laugh. She watched her walking towards the house and held her breath knowing too well Bette would want to see her if she knew she was there.

Alice knocked on the door to the house. No one answered. Porter, she thought, you are in big trouble. She opened the door with her spare key and let herself in. She saw Tina on TV. She moved closer and noticed it was the recording of their wedding day. Aww Bette she sighed. She turned the TV off and walked over to their bedroom. Bette? Porter where are you? She went to the kitchen and didnt see Bette there. She went to the back still Bette wasnt there. Well Ill just head to the bedroom then. She might be asleep.

She walked into the bedroom and found the blue dress that Tina wore during the opening. She picked it up and put it on the bed. I might as well pack Tinas stuff. She grabbed a bag and started to fill it with Tinas clothing. She wondered where Bette was. This is all so fucked up she thought. Where the ***** is Bette? Dont tell me she is with that carpenter. Im not in the best of moods right now, she better not be with her.

She heard a soft moan from the bathroom. She froze. And then she heard another. She stopped what she was doing and walked over to the bathroom door which was ajar. She couldnt believe what she was seeing as she opened the door. What she saw broke her heart