Bette felt as if her heart had been pierced by Tina’s words. “God, no, Tina,” she cried. She rolled over on her stomach and placed her face in her hands. She felt weak for giving into her desire yesterday and then for not being able to file it away like she did with so many of her other feelings. Now Tina was showing her a jealous side of herself that she had never seen before.

Bette thought about Candace approaching her yesterday and how she had asked Bette to tell her to stop if she didn’t want the kiss. Bette knew then that Candace had given her the control and the choice, but in that one fleeting moment Bette felt controlled by her need to be wanted. “It was just a ***** kiss,” Bette thought and then a voice of a taunting teenager in her head asked, “What if Tina told you that a woman at Dinah Shore had kissed her and it was just a kiss?”

“Tina, no,” Bette uttered, as if talking in her sleep.

Tina picked up her T-shirt and wiped her face and chest with it before pulling it over her head. She sat back on the couch and stared into space. Bette felt dizzy from her fear and the pain from Tina’s words. She pushed herself to her knees and turned to look at Tina. “*****,” Bette thought, aware that she had no road map for this Tina. Bette stood up and stepped toward the coffee table where she sat down across from Tina.

“Will you share your water with me?” Bette asked in the calmest voice she could muster.

“Are you going to charm me, Bette?” Tina answered in a curt tone.

“I’m going to talk with you, if you’re willing.” Bette said, maintaining her calm tone. She tipped the Pellegrino bottle to her lips while holding her eyes on Tina. Bette swallowed and then offered Tina the bottle.

“I’ve had enough water,” Tina said as she folded her arms across her chest.

Bette sighed. She let the growing silence fill the space between them as she prepared her mind for what she needed to do.

“T, you said you don’t trust me. That kills me to hear you say that, but I can understand why you feel that way.”

Tina blinked and looked at Bette. “I told you about the kiss because I don’t want her. I want to feel from you what I felt this afternoon and I want to give it back to you. That’s real, T. It’s you and me and that’s all I want.”

Tina took the Pellegrino bottle from Bette’s hands and took a sip. Bette felt elated that Tina took the bottle, but she kept her emotion masked behind her focused intent. She paused as she waited for Tina’s response.

“Remember when I came for my earring at your gallery?” Tina asked.

“Of course,” Bette said, bracing herself for the case Tina was building.

“When you want something, Bette, you get it. No matter how far out of reach, no matter how impossible or unavailable, you get what you want,” Tina said. “You got Provocations and it wasn’t to be had.”

A prideful smile began to illuminate Bette’s face. “I’ve been lucky.”

“Bette, it’s not luck, it’s you,” Tina said matter-of-factly.

Bette looked down at her hands and then peeked up at Tina.

“When I came to the gallery that day, you intended to kiss me and you did. I know what you’re capable of because I’ve been on the receiving end of you, Bette. I have a hard time believing that Candace kissed you without you initiating it. How can I trust you won’t do it again with her or someone else?”

Bette felt anger accumulate in her chest and start to make its way toward her mouth, but she said nothing, knowing it would only make the situation worse. She dropped her head, let out a heavy sigh and twisted her commitment ring. “***** me!” she shouted in her head. She looked at Tina, her brow furrowed.

“T, I . . . I told you because I made a mistake and I don’t want to hurt us any more than I have. You have to believe me when I tell you that I want you, Tina. I love you,” she said, reaching for Tina’s hands.

“Please, baby, forgive me,” Bette pleaded.

Tina relinquished her hands to Bette.

“God, I’m tired,” Tina said and looked away.

“Will you forgive me?” Bette persisted, her eyes fixed on Tina who said nothing.

“Forgive me?” Bette said, working some of her charming tone into each syllable. Tina looked at Bette and held her gaze.

“Forgive me,” Bette said again, aware of Tina’s control and her own willingness to surrender to Tina.

“Forgive me,” she said again as she moved her right knee onto the couch, resting it against Tina’s hip.

“Forgive me,” she repeated while moving her left knee next to Tina’s right hip.

“Forgive me,” she said as she sat in Tina’s lap.

“Forgive me,” Bette said in her best craggy voice as she moved her hands up under Tina’s blond hair and held her head. Tina let out a long sigh and tilted her head back and parted her lips slightly.

Bette leaned in and met Tina’s lips with her own.

“Forgiven,” she thought.