The gang is headed to Melbourne for the Australian Open, Qantas flight all the way from L.A. to Melbourne, non-stop.
It was the first time Dana had been given a wild card entry into the Australian Open and Subaru teed up an all expenses paid trip for her and a friend, Alice of course.
Alice and Dana managed to get in first class. Bette, Tina and Shane all were excited to be headed to Melbourne, going to support Dana in her first major competition as a tennis professional. The three of them had to fly Business class, no more seats available in first class. The flight left LAX at 11:30 pm, no stop over, directly to Melbourne.
Bette was feeling flight sickness as soon as she boarded the plane, so she decided to just sleep the whole flight. The rest of the gang was too psyched to sleep. Shane already had her eye on a flight stewardess, with an adorable Aussie accent.
Alice and Dana were sitting in first class sipping champagne and lying back in the huge comfortable seats. Dana was so excited she could hardly contain herself. I dont believe Im actually going to play in the Australian Open, Al can you believe it?
Dana looked over at Alice. Alice was in her own little world.
Alice: Phew, Danewe got away with that one.
Dana: What are you going on about nowAlice?
Alice: I put some wacky weed in the handle of your tennis racket. Dana looked at Alice, mortified. Just enough for me and Shane for the trip, dont worry no one would ever find it there, come on!! Relax Dana.
Dana was now shitting bricks, I am going to kill you Alice, if I get caught with anything at all you are taking the fall, believe me!!.
Danas attention was taken from Alice and her panic when she spotted Martina Navratilova, a few rows further up. She was awestruck and had to meet her. Dana in her haste clumsily got out of her seat, she was so nervous about meeting her idol it caused her to trip over Alice, (Alice had put her foot in the way on purpose,) in an attempt to get out into the aisle, falling directly into the aisle face down, next to a smiling Andy Roddick.
Andy: Are you Ok? reaching out his hand.
Dana quickly picked herself up, Yes Thank you, and continue her quest to meet her idol.


Meanwhile in business class, Tina headed off to the ladies room, Bette was sound asleep, snoring mind you, and she subconsciously felt something cold creeping up her leg. She thought it was Tina playing around, and being half asleep Bette forgot she was on a plane with 200 people around her.
The cold sensation was traveling further up Bettes leg sending shivers down her spine. Bette was now moaning, OhTee.Yes baby. further up keep goingplease baby.
Tina returned from the ladies room and noticed this thing on Bette leg. Tina just stood there watching, chuckling to herself. Bette is going to have a coronary when she wakes up. Tina thought to herself.
Bette was making quite a lot of noise now. Still half asleep enjoying the cold sensation, she was still thinking it was Tina causing her senses to smolder.
Bette was starting to attract attention from the other passengers. A crowd had developed, practically all the business class passengers, to see what the excitement was about.
Tina: Hey Shane, go get Alice and Dana, this is going to be priceless. Poor baby, Tina thought.
Bette finally woke up and opened her eyes, disorientated she looked down expecting to see Tina, instead she eyeballs a green frog on her thigh, extremely close to you know where.
Bette immediately jumps out of her seat, hitting her head on the overhead compartment nearly concussing her self. She flew out of her seat, causing the poor frog to go flying across the plane, hitting Alice in the face as she is walking in from first class.
What the *****? Alice yelled.
Getting out of her seat too quickly, Bette managed to fall into some old gentlemans lap. (Term used loosely)
Excuse me, sorry Bette says, trying to quickly get up.
No its my pleasure, the old man said, unsuccessfully helping Bette up, purposely copping a feel of Bettes tight *****. Bette could feel his manhood growing underneath her, Oh gawd, I definitely gotta get out of here now.!!!!!! Bette said in a disgusted tone.
Bette hastily walked to the bathroom to try and compose herself, she realized she had just made a fool of herself.
She stayed in the bathroom for about 10 minutes and decided she may as well face the snickering.
Bette walked out of the bathroom to the entire business class section clapping. That was an Abbott and Costello like performance. with just one person Some passenger said to Bette as she was walking back to her seat.
Alice had told all the business class passengers, that Bette was a stand up comic, and she wanted to test out her material before she performed in comedy clubs in Melbourne. Tina went along with it, with Alice, against her better judgment.
Bette didnt have a clue why everyone was clapping; she was just glad they werent laughing, and she just wanted to know where that damn frog was..
Bette managed to locate the frog, grabbed it and was going to destroy all its slimy, slippery limbs, one by one.
A little boy came up to her and said shyly, Please can I have my frog back lady. The little 10-year-old boy had smuggled the frog on the plane and only told his mum, after he had lost it.
Bette couldnt resist the little boys innocence, damn. She melted and gave the frog back to the little boy, Make sure you dont lose him again kiddo, he may not be so lucky next time.
Tina, Alice and Shane and Dana saw the exchange and saw the frustration on Bettes face, they all laughed hysterically.
Bette did cause quite a stir, even Andy Roddick had come back to business class to see what was going on, heard about what happened and approached Bette and casually said, let me know what clubs youll be in, in Melbourne. I will definitely check you out.
Bette thought Andy was hitting on her, so she took Tinas hand saying, Sorry, Im not interested.
Andy just walked back to business class confused.
Tina was in fits of laughter again.
Bette: Whats so funny now, T? Bette was beginning to get offended by the gang constantly laughing at her.
When Tina told Bette why she was laughing.Bette rolled her eyes and crumpled her brow, Wait till I get hold of her, Im going to tear Alice a new *****.
They eventually arrived at Melbourne airport without any further hiccups. When Bette, Tina and Shane were leaving the plane quite a few passengers in business class approached Bette asking her what club she was performing at.
She just smiled and said, Im not sure yet? under her breath muttering wait till I get hold of you Alice!
Bette saw Andy leaving the plane as well, and hid herself behind Tina until he walked past, she didnt want any further embarrassment.
It was taking Alice and Dana an awfully long time to get through customs. Bette, Tina and Shane had been waiting 10 minutes already.
Dana had fainted going through the security checkpoint. (from pure fear of getting caught with the wacky weed). The medics were at her side quickly, she was only unconscious for not even 1 minute when she came too.
Alice went about explaining to them, Dana has a condition known as ranidaphobia,( fear of frogs) and there was a frog causing havoc on the plane, she mustve had a delayed reaction. The medics were confused but seemed to buy Alices explanation, as all Danas vitals appeared normal.
The medics release Dana into Alices competent hands (if they only knew), so Alice helped Dana get her bags and were on their way to meet Bette, Tina and Shane.
Alice said to an extremely pissed off Dana on the way, Damn I just thought of something, I shouldve told them your condition was androphobia, (Fear of men!) They wouldnt know the difference. Alice laughed.
By the time they got into view of the rest of the gang, Alice had a confession to make, Dana, I was only joking with you. I would never really put wacky weed in your tennis racketI couldnt get the damn end of the grip off
Bette and Dana both yelled in unison Alice!!!!!!
The End.