Bette woke up holding a pillow with her legs wrapped around the duvet. No Tina, just a ripped blue dress next to her on the bed.

What was she supposed to do now, it was 5.30 in the morning. Shed woken up dreaming of holding Tina, their bodies wrapped around each other. Then she saw the blue dress and that blissful moment between sleeping and waking up when you dont know which one is reality was gone.

She didnt want to be conscious; she didnt want a hundred thoughts running through her head about the last few hours, the last few days, the last few months. She wanted to be back in the warmth of their bed, safe in her lovers embrace.

She had to get up she was freezing her toes felt like icicles. She wrapped the duvet around her, got up and went into the living room. It was dark, the curtains were drawn the soft light of dawn was barely piercing its rays into the house. She went into the kitchen her bare feet feeling the coldness of the floor tiles. She opened the freezer to find a nearly full bottle of vodka, she wondered if they had any mango juice in the house and then laughed at herself. She took a carton of cranberry juice out of the fridge, a tall glass from the cupboard, she placed all three on the coffee table in front of the sofa in their living room, and sat on the floor between the sofa and table.

Bette felt hot and trapped, she could feel the sweat running down her back. The hot midday sun streaming into the house through the slim slits where the curtains didnt cover the windows was beating against her closed eyelids demanding them to open. Bette gave in she opened her eyes, she was lying on her back on the floor, the duvet wrapped around her, unable to turn left or right trapped by the sofa and coffee table. She turned her head and saw lying on the carpet an empty bottle of vodka a crunched up carton of cranberry juice, she wondered where the glass had got to. She took a deep breath smelling her alcoholic breath, her lips were parched she needed some water.

As soon as she felt the cold water hit the pit of her stomach Bette new she was going to throw up, she ran to the bathroom barely making it in time to kneel before the toilet and vomit. Her stomach was cramping she knew she would have to keep on throwing up before she could find any sort of relief from the pain. After being sick another three of four times, Bette let go of the toilet seat and lay on her back on the bathroom floor staring into the ceiling light a lone tear gently falling down her left cheek.

She must have drifted into a nap there; she woke up her body aching from lying on such a hard surface. She got up, maybe too quickly her head was spinning she had to use the sink to steady her feet, she pulled her head up to look into the mirror, but before getting there she saw Tinas ring on the sink next to the soap dish. She felt her legs slip and knew she didnt have the balance or strength to keep herself standing, she fell banging her head on the shower door before finding herself once again lying on her back on the floor staring at the ceiling light. She wondered where the ring’s bearer was and if she was thinking of her.