Tina and Bette were dating for a few weekssecretly of course, but dating none the less. It wasnt really different from what they had during their years of friendship, with the exception of the kissing and hand holding. They hadnt seen one another for a few days because of conflicting work schedules and the fact that Bette was now working two jobs per the request of her mother. Bette knew it was because she wanted to make sure Bette didnt really have any time for a personal life, but for Tina Bette always made time, just like she had when they were only friends. While Bette worked her two jobs Tina worked her mornings and early afternoons at the coffee shop. Being finished with that shed normally go home and spend time with Colin just trying to keep things in the house calm. Her mother seemed to come down extremely hard on the small boy; Tina wasnt sure if it was because he was young and defenseless, or because he bared a striking resemblance to their father. Her mothers condition worsened considerable these past weeks, she no longer tried to even act like a human being. She woke up when she needed to go get more alcohol, and other than that she was passed out and Tina found herself thanking god for that. If Jackie wasnt awake that meant that there were no physical and/or verbal beatings for the youngest Kennard or herself. Tonight was no different. Tina made dinner for the two of them making sure that there was leftovers just in case her mother wound up consuming something other than alcohol, and then put him to bed. Night Col.? Night sissy. Are you goin out tonight? I don think so, so Ill be here, right next door, if you need me. He nodded and she kissed his forehead and smoothed back some of his strawberry blonde hair and waited with him, like always, until he fell asleep. She walked into her own room and turned to her dresser grabbing a pair of gray and brown plaid pajama pants and a gray wife beater top. Turning around she almost had a heart attack. Bette was sitting on her windowsill with her feet dangling inches from Tinas carpet. The blonde felt herself swoon instantly and wondered how she lasted this long without noticing her feelings for her unbelievable gorgeous girlfriend. Bette still had on her work uniform which consisted of a black slacks and a crisp white button down blouse, which was now unbuttoned to reveal a skintight black tank that was pressing her cleavage up to the delight of Tinas hormones. After giving Bette the once over she snapped out of her own mind and smiled. You almost gave me a damn heart attack Bette. Sorry T, I thought I was pretty loud getting up here, I was afraid I was going to wake your mom. Please, Tina said waving her off, Nothing could get her ***** up unless it was Jack or Jose Bette nodded. She didnt really know how to deal with Tinas situation so she tried to be supportive where she could and help Tina when she needed it. Walking over to the blonde she wrapped her arms around her waist from behind as Tina was turning to get changed. She kissed the back of her head and then her bared shoulder. Everything okay besides your mom? Tina couldnt help but feel like she was finally somewhere she could see herself spending forever in, which would be exactly where she found herself in the moment with Bette. She nodded in response. Its good now. Tina said brushing her soft lips against Bettes full bottom lip and ran her tongue along it lightly asking Bette silently to open to her. Bette responded in kind and the kiss became more than a kiss hello. Tina wrapped her hands through the layers of dark hair and pulled Bettes head forcefully into her. Bette was running her hands down Tinas back, around Tinas hips, up over her stomach, and finally rested them cupping Tinas ***** and massaging slightly. Hearing Tina moan into her mouth was driving Bette crazy and made her wish for more contact between their bodies. Grabbing the hem of Tinas shirt she pulled it up and over Tinas head; the motion bringing the reality of the situation crashing back down to the room. No matter how much she felt for Bette, she wasnt ready to make love with her yet, she wasnt sure shed even know how when the time camebut for right now all she knew was that tonight wasnt the right time. Bette she said pulling away. Bette immediately knew what was going on, and though she was hurt each time it happened, she understood Tinas apprehension completely. Looking down sheepishly Bette snatched up Tinas tank top off the bed. Sorry T, you just make me so crazy sometimes. She said pulling the top over Tinas head and kissing her after her hear reappeared through the shirt. Its alright babe, IIm sorry I keep getting you worked up like that, its not fair to you They were interrupted by a door opening and closing and then the sound of the front door opening. Tina rolled her eyes, knowing that it was Jackie going for a booze run. Bette saw this and smiled sadly, but she didnt miss the hurt clearly written on Tina angelic face. Each and every time she did this Tina was torn apart even more and Bette felt sick that she couldnt help her girlfriend. Tina, however, was just grateful for Bettes presence. She waled to her and rested her head on her shoulder while Bette just ran her hands through the wavy blonde tresses. Do you want to come to my house T? She asked hoping that she could get Tina out there for a while. Nah, its kinda late and I told Colin I would stay here tonight. But.uhmyou could stay ya knowI mean, if you want to. Bette kissed Tina so lightly it felt like the flutter of butterfly wings, it was the kind of kisses that came from Bette that made Tina feel like she was complete for once. I wish I could, she answered pushing blonde strands behing Tinas ear, I told my mother Id be home tonight. Tina nodded sadly. Bette kissed her forehead. Tina I would love to stay here with you. You know how much I hate leaving you here with that woman, you and your brother. But I understand you still loving her and wanting to be here for her, even though I know you will deny that thats the reason. But be careful and if you need me, I dont care what time it iscall me and Ill be here in seconds. Okay. Okay then, Ill see you tomorrow right? We still have our date yeah? Of course. Bette smiled and they kissed goodnight again before Bette climbed back through the window of Tinas rooms. She got halfway out when they heard tire the squeal of breaks followed by a huge crash. Bette jumped back through the window and raced down the stairs after Tina and out the front door. Jacqueline Kennard stumbled through the front door after them being awoken from the crash. Bette looked at her puzzled and then looked back at the car in the driveway where another car had plowed into it. The driver that had hit the parked stumbled out and was having trouble barely standing up. Tina walked over to him and was hit with the bitter stench of alcohol. She found herself rolling her eyes for the second time tonight. Are you okay? she asked. Ifiiiine. Sall gravy He said drunkenly. Meanwhile Jackie who had sobered considerably from the situation had dialed 911, and Bette was walking around looking at the damage done until she came to a sudden stop. TTOh god Tina Bettes hand was covered with her mouth as she was trying to stifle sobs that were pushing themselves from the depth of her being. Tina heard Bette and ran over peering through her mothers backseat car window which was cracked from the impact of the car on the other side. Tina didnt say a word, she yanked open the car door and crouched down inside. ColColin. She said rubbing his shoulder. Come on kiddo, stop ***** around this isnt funny. Bette stood there watching Tina and knowing. T Tina put her head to the small back and tried to hear a beat. Her own heart was racing in her throat and pounding in her ears. She could hear the blood pumping throughout her skull and her mind screaming at her whole being to shut up so she could hear something besides her own bodys workings. Colin She whispered as she turned him over, she saw the scratches from the shattered glass and there were small pieced imbedded into the skin. His small frame was bloody and broken. Despite his appearance she placed and ear to his chest again. This time it hit home that she wasnt hearing anything besides her own labored breaths. Bette sat there watching Tina cradle her brothers body she wasnt crying or yelling, she wasnt doing anything except staring at her hand which was resting on the small chest underneath of it. By this time Jackie was walking back out of the house and the emergency vehicle sirens were pulling closer. The police arrested the drunk driver while 2 EMS workers rushed to the car. Tina however would not move for them to take away the body that used to contain the soul that was her vibrant little brother. Miss you need to let us handle this. There isnt a thing you can do for him now. Tina just stared as they pulled him out of what was left of the backseat of the car. She stood there as the team of vehicles drove away and the tow truck removed the mangled car from the driveway. Tina watched the backlights of the cars as they pulled away, she had yet to let a tear fall since finding Colin in the backseat the shock of seeing his small body lying crumpled on the crushed floor of that car was starting to sink in. It was hitting like slow drips to her soul. It created ripples that ran their course through her body, it weakened her arms and legs until she felt like they were in fact made from water, and she collapsed there on the blacktop; sobbing and screaming. Jackie saw her daughter and ran to her wanting to be there for her so that they could comfort each other, but she was halted when the first name, other than Colins; was Bettes. Bette bent next to her girlfriend and wrapped her into her arms. As soon as Tina felt Bette she let everything go. The screams and cries that couldve been heard were deafening and quiet all at once as Bette carried Tina up to her room and sat with her on the window seat. She let Tina cling to her and Tina was grasping for dear life, trying to hold on to the good things and forget the bad things that made up her eighteen years. It may have taken hours, but Tina eventually cried herself into exhaustion and the two of them slept on the padded window seat, uncomfortably crammed, but feeding off the physical and emotional support that the other was silently giving. A Few Days Later Tina stood in the full length mirror staring at her reflection. She looked like *****. Who was she kidding, she looked worse than *****, which matched exactly what she was feeling as she looked at the black knee length shirt and black turtleneck she was wearing. All the black made her feel even worse. She found herself wondering if Colin would mind if she had worn something colorful, he undoubtedly wouldve had something to say if he saw everyone he knew wearing black and crying. He would make a joke or pull a stupid prank to take everyones mind off of the horrible clouds that had decended over Tinas head. But thinking again to herself, she didnt have the courage or the energy to pick an outfite that matched, nor did her eyes feel like dealing with the brightness of her unecessarlily chherful wardrobe. She applied what makeup she had at her fingertips, not feeling like moving about to get anything, then flipping the lighswtich off moved out of the room and out the door, heading to the church Everyone had attended the funeral. Half the town had showed up, along with relatives she never knew she had, that were never really there when It counted; when her and her little brother were struggling to get by. Her father had showed up with his new wife and her children but hadnt stayed long and offered little comfort to Tina. The only person who could offer comfort wasnt there. Bette tried with all she had, but her boss would not give her off unless it was a family emergency, needless to say Bette was about ready to quit until Tina told her that it would be okay and that she could come after she got off. Bette ahd been Tinas constant reassurance that things could be okay again. Not fully, but that Tina would move on, keep Colin in her heart and live her life. Tina was forever grateful to her best friend and girlfriend for being there, she owed Bette so much and she wasnt sure if she would ever be able to pay her back. Tina was now standing in the empty cemetery looking at the small two foot monument that was now the physical memorial to her precious brother. The wind was blowing and it moved aside the tree branches sending the warm rays of sun through the spread limbs, the sun kissed Tinas face. She swore she felt her little brothers fingers on her cheeks and the breeze whispering his nickname of Sissy carried itself to Tinas ears. She stood there hugging some warmth into herself when she heard the light crunch of foot steps on the green grass. Bette bent down and placed the tiny teddy bear and flower along with some of the other tokens left at Colin Kennards grave. She stood back up and wrapped an arm around Tinas and linked their hands. I went by your house, your mom told me you didnt get there yet so I figured I see if you were here. How are you holding up T? I cant leave him here Bette. Tina said desperately. I keep worrying about him, which is stupid I know Its not stupid Tina, youre his sister.you love him. Tina finally looked over at Bette and once again she was hit with so many feeling for this girl, woman, that she couldnt tear herself away from Bettes eyes. Will you stay here with me for a while? Im not ready to leave him. Bette nodded and they both sat in front of the polished stone. Tina leaned back against Bettes chest as they stared at the monument of the little boy with angel wings, Tina told Bette stories of Colins antics and they laughed a little together until they both wound up falling asleep on the grass. They woke up from the small drips of rain that were starting to fall on their faces and started to get up to leave. Tina walked over to the grave marker and put her hands on it whispering, Ill be back to visit kiddo, you can count on it. I love you so much. She turned and walked to Bette, who had hung back to give Tina privacy, and grabbing her hand started walking back to their cars just as the rain started coming down. The little angel boy was now standing alone as the lighting and rain came down full force, pelting the ground and concrete within and outside the walls of the cemetery. For the first time Colin was weathering a storm alone without his savior, without his Sissy, without Tina. The lighting flashes one last time as the short storm tapers off, casting a shard of light across the new addition to the Mt Jacob cemetery. Colin Kennard Loyal Son, Precious Brother You are loved 1996-2004