Dana watched as Alice ran to her car, her weight leaning heavily on the door behind her. She touched her forehead, hoping that it would help decipher what she was feeling. Was it guilt or relief? All she knew was that it felt as if her life got flipped turned upside down in a matter of a few seconds. Everything she thought she was sure of, suddenly became a doubt. She slid down to the ground, pulling her knees to her chin, the tears trickling down her face. She sat there for what felt like hours, before she came inside to retrieve a pair of socks, sneakers, and a sweatshirt. She opened the door and began to walk, hoping that maybe outside somewhere, away from Tonya, away from anything and everything, she would find an answer.

Dont worry, Ill get it, Tina called out as she opened the door. She stared at the woman in front of her Dana, do you know what time it is? Why are you-
It took a minute for Dana to register that Alice did not open the door. She rubbed her eyes in confusion, Uh, is uh Al here, T?
I think shes out like a lightshe let me answer the door.
Oh, um, ok.
Why dont you come in?
Oh, II
Come on. Tina put her arm around Dana and pulled her inside. Alice! Get your lazy butt up! Alice! Tina paused, Hmm. I thought she was here.
Dana poked her head into Alices bedroom, I guess shes not home yet. Did she say anythingtoyou?
Not home yet? Shes here.
Shes not in her bed. You sure she came back?
She came in around 5ish, I dont know where she went after I fell asleep.
Oh, ok.
Dana, whats going on?
Dana was quick to respond, Nothin.
Tina eyed her with an eyebrow raised, I know youre hiding something.
No, Im not, her expression giving her away.
Tina smiled at Danas behavior. It reminded her of a child caught with its hands in the cookie jar. She couldnt help but feel a motherly tenderness to this woman who was so nave and innocent at times. She kissed Dana softly on the cheek, Dont ever change. Tina and Dana watched Regis and Katie on television while sitting at the kitchen table.
A short while later, Alice kicked the door, her arms full with cups of coffee and bagels. She finally managed to unlock the door, T, you still here?
Im in the kitchen.
Coffee coming up. Alice walked into the kitchen and nearly dropped everything seeing Dana sitting at the table. What are you doing here? Her tone came out harsher than what she wanted. She put the stuff on the counter and walked to her room, shutting the door behind her. *****. *****. *****.
I dont think shes too thrilled to see me, Dana sighed.
Let me talk to her. Alice, open the door.
Ill be out in a minute. Imnaked right now.
Alice!
Not like you have something we havent seen before. Dana mumbled.
Tina looked at Dana, Just wait out in the living room for a minute.
Dana nodded.
Alice, its Tina. Danas in the other room. Open the door.
She unlocked the door and let Tina in, I dont know what Im doing. Im losing my mind. ImIve lost it completely. Thats it. Send me to the nut farm.
Tina waited for Alice to finish, Whatever it is, you better work it out because Danas out in the living room and shes acting funny. Although not as funny as you right now.
Does she seem to be-I dont know. Was she looking forward to seeing me?
Go talk to her. I dont think shes angry with you if thats what you mean. You seem like the angry one.
Alice grudgingly shuffled her feet out the door. Yes, mother.
Dana saw her approach, Wh-what is-
Dont.
Al, I was wrong. I think I made a mistake.
Alice expected to hear that, but still the words coming from Danas mouth still crushed her inside, Just stop there, Dane. Im sorry. I dont know what came over me. I just want whats best for you.
I know.
Alice quickly changed the subject, Youre still in your pajamas and you kind of look like *****.
Thanks, Al. Its your fault I was up all night.
Youre not mad are you?
Dana shook her head, I thought you were mad. Why were you avoiding me?
I was afraid youd be freaked out. Or youd think it over and regret it. Alice avoided Danas gaze. She kicked the ground with the tip of her foot, You can hang here with us if you want.
I should uh call home and let Tonya know Im here.
Sure. Yes, go do that. Alice was relieved that Dana accepted her subtle peace offering. She held out her phone, quickly regretting that now Tonya was going to know she was hanging out with Dana. A twinge of guilt sat in her stomach, with the knowledge that she might have made things really difficult for Dana.
Dana took the phone from Alice and called her fiance. Ton, hon, Im at Alices. There was um a situation that uh had to be um worked out. No, everythings ok. Yeah, Ill be home later. Ok, I uh love ya too. Bye. Dana stared at the ground, Is it alright if I took a nap here? Im really beat from walking over here.
You walked?
Yeeaaahhh. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Youre crazy. Thank god Im not the only one.
I needed the walk.
You couldve gotten yourself killed walking by yourself.
Dana sighed and emphasized her words, I. Really. Needed. The. Walk.
Well, Im glad youre ok.
Yeah, like I said, Im just really beat.
Oh yeah. You can use my bed. Tina and I still have something to discuss. Dane, oh my god you dont know.
Know what?
Bette cheated on Tina. Alice held her finger to her lips and then pointed to the chart.
No way. Is she ok?
So so. Take your nap. Ill fill you in later.
Al, sit with me for a little bit.
Alice was hesitant, but she followed Dana to her bedroom. She finally sat down on the bed, her back resting against the wall while Dana laid her head in Alices lap.
Dana stared at the ceiling, What are we going to do?
Pretend nothing happened.
Is that really what you want?
Does it matter what I want?
It does.
I wantI want you-to be happy. Alice timidly touched Danas hair and quickly pulled back her hand.
Do you like Tonya?
Honestly?
Dana frowned, Nevermind. I dont think I want to know the answer.
Look, Dane, youre my best friend. I dont want to ***** that up.
You think Tonya and I werent right for each other, right?
Its just that she changed you. Sometimes its like youre not you anymore. And then she did some things that Im not sure werein your best interests. Its not my right to ***** to you about your girlfriend. If she makes you happy then Ill be happy too.
Tina knocked on the door.
Come in, were just having a chat, Alice called out.
Tina sat down beside Alice, handing her a coffee and a bagel. Sorry, Dana, I guess you and Alice will have to split that.
Im not really hungry. Al can finish it.
Tina and Alice participated in some small talk about Regis and Katie and then an article Alice was working on. At some point while they were talking, Dana fell asleep.
Look at her.
Alice glanced down at Dana, Shes something. I think Im going to be stuck like this for awhile.
How do you know youre in love?
Tina thought for a second, I think its when you really believe you couldnt live without that person in your life.
Hmm, thats interesting. I like that answer. How are you feeling?
Im trying not to think.
Yeah. No, that makes sense.
Im going to take a shower. You dont mind, do you?
Go right ahead. My place is your place.
Alice whispered in Danas ear when Tina was out of hearing range, Dane, get up. Up. Dana. She spoke louder while pushing her head off her lap, Dana, your big head is making my leg numb.
Dana moaned, Whhaaatt?
You awake?
No, Im still sleeping. What do you think?
Tinas in the shower.
So.
Were alone.
Dana smiled and tackled Alice. Got you.
Alice didnt move as Dana straddled her, So what are you going to do about it?
Al, when did this change?
When did what change?
I mean was it last night or earlier?
Oh that. I think it was when Shane did your hair and I realized how beautiful you are. I always knew you were, but. Alice reached up and touched her friends face, tracing her fingers down her cheek.
Dana grinned, Youre just saying that. Dana was about to kiss Alice when Tina opened the door.
What on earth are you two doing?
Dana responded, Wrestling.
Alice waved, Hey Tina. Have a nice shower? She looked up at Dana and mouthed, Wrestling?
Very relaxing although you probably enjoyed youractivities more.
Yeah, probably. Dane?
Uhh, uhh. Yeah? Soooo Tina, howre you doing? asked Dana in an attempt to dispel the awkwardness of the situation. She climbed off of Alice.
Im holding up. You guys help. Actually, can I ask you a question Dana?
Sure.
Howre the wedding plans coming along?
Danas expression changed to a deer in the headlights look. Fine, she squeaked.
Tina gave Alice a stern look before returning back to Dana. Are you ready?
I-I think so.
Youll know if you really love her. Do you?
Alice grew uncomfortable, unsure of she really wanted to know the answer.
Yeah, but T, its different. I mean I cant compare how I feel towards Tonya to how I feel towards Lara oror Alice, or anyone.
Alices disbelief was overwhelming. She wondered why Dana put her name in the mix.
Do you think Bette loves her?
Who? asked Dana.
Candace, Tina answered.
Dana glanced at Alice in utter confusion, Whos Candace?
The sound of Danas voice returned Alice from her daydreaming. Candace? The carpenter.
Oh.
Alice responded, T, I know Bette and I know she loves you more than anything in this world. I think maybe she got scared about something and just needed some space.
By sleeping with someone else?!
I cant really speak on her behalf, but there are times you do things that are outside yourself.
I just want to understand why she would do that.
Youd have to ask her that. Maybe she took the loss of the baby and all that Provocations stuff harder than we all thought. I mean shes not one to wear her emotions on her sleeve.
I dont know anymore. Im going to go to the house and get some things. Bette should be at work now.
Did you want us to go with you?
Thats alright. Its probably better I go by myself.
Ok, well see you a little later. Alice waited for Tina to leave, We should call and warn Bette.
Dana agreed.
Bette, its Alice. What the ***** were you thinking? Uh huh. Well, you better figure that out soon because youre in deep *****.
Yeah deep *****, Dana blurted aloud.
That was Dana. She turned to Dana, She said thanks all sarcastic. No, Im not making fun of you. I know you dont need that right now. Are you at the house? Yes, maybe you should go to work or out somewhere. Tinas on her way over and I dont think shed be happy to see you. No, thats it. Shes doing wellconsidering. As much as I think youre an ***** right now, call me if you need anything. Ok, bye.
Im glad you dont talk to me like that.
Only if youre an ex.


Tina arrived at the house, Bettes car still parked in the driveway. Tina took a deep breath before entering the house, Bette, where are you? Tina became a little worried when Bette didnt answer. Bette. Baby, you here? Tina walked around to all the rooms. She found Bette sitting outside in the backyard. Bette?
Bette turned around slowly, Hi, T. I tried staying out of your way.
You dont have to avoid me.
Im sorry for everything.
I know you are. I dont understand it, but maybe one day I will.
Are you staying with Alice?
Yes. I want to ask you something. Do you love her?
Bette shook her head, No.
Tina sat down next to Bette, Do something for me?
Anything.
Take care of yourself. Get your life in order.
Can I help you pack? Thats why youre here, right?
Yeah. For the first time in a long time, Tina felt like she was the strong one. She was the one keeping it together. She stood up and held out her hand.
Bette took it, allowing Tina to aid her to her feet, Thanks.
Tina noticed Bette was slightly unstable standing, Are you ok?
Im not sure.
It was the most honest answer Bette could provide her and it unnerved Tina. She wrapped her arm around Bettes waist and walked her inside.
T, you know you are my world, right?
Yes, Bette. She was ready for the confession at that moment.
Im scared.
Not the words she expected to hear, What?
Im scared, T. She watched Tinas expression change, I dont feel anything anymore.
Those words coming from Bettes mouth were especially disturbing to Tina. It was something she noticed from Bette a lot lately. A delay for her feelings to show and then theyd blow up. She thought of the day she found Bette on the shower floor and how she thought it was just Bette being tired. Tina had a feeling that something more complicated was going on than she initially thought, I know, baby, I know. She couldnt believe she was offering this, but as much as Tina hated Bette for what she did, she still loved and cared for her, Why dont I make you something to eat? Take a shower and by the time youre out, itll be done.
Ok. Bette headed to the bedroom.