Fan Fiction
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Babes, Blondes, and Bullets!( The B Word) chapter one: “The Other Side”
CHAPTER ONE
THE OTHER SIDE”
Los Angeles was raining today, evidently quite rare. The lightning struck quickly, and the large thunder boomed, like they were at war with each other. But the L.A. Police department across from the training grounds, however,were at war with themselves today. As the day of the graduation for some 50 newly trained cadets decided to celebrate the time with a bit of R&R: Paint Ball!
“Tina!” Tina Kennard wiped her visor, pulling up her loaded paint gun rifle and scanned the area. The rain pelted of her soaked uniform, as she crouched near. the garbage bins.
“Tina!” Her best friend Oscar waved to her, and she looked over his pointed finger. Hello girls, Tina grinned, realizing she was in perfect range, focusing her teammates as they hid amongst the bushes and trees. Its time to play. She attacked suddenly, taking a couple shots as her men were hit with paint splatter, before they didn’t even even realize it.
Oscar leapt over the bushes, tagging another cadet, smiling in glee.
” One more, Tina! We got just one more!”
She dodged around an old, dilapidated building, hearing any footsteps that might recognize the ‘one target’. She motioned for Oscar to follow her, as they took off and slid behind another wall, hearing the paint splatter with its impact, she leaned against it.
‘Alright’ She whispered to him ‘ Anderson is behind the big black tire, we’re gonna go around him when he’s not watching then we’re gonna ambush him.’
‘You’re the boss.’ he said with a wink, then edged around the crouching cadet Anderson, paintgun ready.
” Put the gun, down, Anderson!” She held the rifle up and smirked.
‘Ah, ***** no way! No way ! You ain’t playin’ fair!” Anderson grunted, throwing a spaz as usual.
“Life’s not fair, Anderson. And you lose!” She shot, grinning in triumph as the angered man through his gun down in defeat. Just then, Chief Officer Melvin Porter came in, surveying the cadets, who immediately stood and saluted their chief.
“GOOD MORNING CADETS,” He began ” THIS IS THE DAY OF YOUR GRADUATION. IN YOUR DAYS OF RECIEVE THIS GREAT PRIVELAGE OF CLEANING UP THE FILTH OF THIS CITY, YOU ARE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE CODE OF JUSTICE. NOW HIT THE SHOWERS, I EXPECT YOU TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR DURING THE CEREMONY.”
The trainees filed out to the shower/change rooms.
” Uh, officer Kennard,” the chief said,” Can you stay here for a moment?” Oscar glanced at Tina and headed inside across the shower building unit.
” What’s on your mind, sir?” Tina asked as the two of them walked across the grounds.
” I’ve been noticing you for a long while, agent, ever since you started law enforcement. I must admit your skills and training are indeed highly advanced, even most of the men couldn’t take you.”
” Well, I’m not ‘most’ men.” Tina smirked.
” That you aren’t. This is why I would like you to work for my daughter. Have you heard of the Citizen Arsenal Crew?”
“The C.A.C.? Yeah, I think I’ve heard of them, aren’t they a group of bounty hunters?”
“Sort of, yes, although I sometimes disagree with their tactics. However, she is my daughter, and I somewhat accept her.”
“You Somewhat accept her?”
Officer Porter sighed,
“Elizabeth has a tendency to be reckless, losing her temper and whatnot. Sure, her aim is amazing, but her emotions…”
“…is allot less than desired?” She finished.
” Correct, but she is a great soldier. You will be working at their store in the day, then moonlighting as a bounty hunter by night. It’s a wonderful opportunity! And they pay a high amount of income.”
Tina really didn’t care about the money, but just the thought of him describing it sent a jolt of excitement inside.
” I’ll let you think about it, and then call m-”
” There’s nothing left to think about, it’d be an honor working for them.”
They stopped beside the showers. Chief Porter smiled, holding out his hand to her, shaking it.
“Excellent! I know you’ll make me proud, and clean up this city!”
And with that she left to the showers to clean off the paint.
…
“Uh, uh, Oh *****, Uh, Yes! OH GOD, TINA! Tim Haspell shuddered as an ***** took over his muscled body. Catching his breath as beads of sweat ran down his forehead, his head fell back against the pillow. Tina pushed out the covers and crawled on top of his trembling, spent, body.
“Baby, what you do to me!” He managed to say.
” If there’s an award for the best oral ever…I swear you would’ve won both prizes. The way you do that with your tongue, God…”
“Both? What’s the other one?”
Tim looked up at her, brushing the blonde tresses that framed her face.
” Hmm, the best girlfriend that gives mind blowing *****, period. No contest.”
Tina giggled as she laid her head down his well sculpted chest, allowing his arms wrapped around her curvy body.
“So…” She closed her eyes, a mischievous grin crept on her face.
“You want some more?”
She pulled on top of him to place a sweet kiss on his cheek.
“You wore me out, Love.” He sighed, trying not to fall asleep. She frowned in dismay, but before she could answer him, the phone rang. Tina sighed, and reached for the phone.
“Tina Kennard.”
“Hey, how’s my favorite partner!” Oscar said cheerfully, and Tina winced, forgetting all about the job she just accepted. He’s gonna hate me! Tina thought, knowing full well how Oscar was like: very competitive and extremely jealous whenever she was awarded various offers of prestige.
” Where were you at the ceremony? I know you took Tim home, you horny dog you!” He teased. Tina let out the breath she was holding, then preceded to brace herself for the inevitable.
” I um, I have something to tell you…”
…
” Alright, Agent Kennard, here’s the plan: You’ll meet at the corner of 8th and 8th at a place called “Milk”, a sleazy strip club way over in downtown. You dress in disguise, seeing as youre a woman, and the majority of customers are well, men. ” Oscar said.
“Once there, you’ll look for Agent Porter. So be there tomorrow at midnight on the dot, and don’t be late!” Oscar snapped, a hint of resentment.
“Oscar, please don’t be mad at me,”
“He sighed through the phone, ” I’ll see ya when I see ya, Kennard.” and hung up.
…
Tomorrow evening at precisely 11:00 p.m., Tina pulled out Tim’s closet, and flipped through his business suits. He stood at the doorway, watching her.
“Unless you’ve decided to dress up in men’s clothing-which I find hot- then why are you dressing up like that?”
“I told you, Tim, I’m in disguise.” She adjusted her tie, then fixed her hair with a couple bobby pins and placed the hat on her head.
Time just watched at her, grinning,
“TI hope Oscars not too mad at me” She sighed, as Tim wrapped her arms and pulled her in a tight hug, as they both glance in the mirror, and with a hesitated sigh, she stepped out of the embraced.
” I gotta go pretty quick. Think I look convincing enough?”
He smiled a wider smile and chuckled,
“Baby, you’re by far the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”
Shane Mutchuchon downed the last of her drink, in the strip club notoriously known as “Milk” as her eyes scanned the crowd. The waitress girl came up to her, handing her the dirty glasses.
“Want another?” She grinned suggestively, and Shane nodded. The waitress left, and she adjusted her collar, which hid a tiny microphone .
“Hey Pootie-Dog, come in.” She spoke in the microphone.
“Do you read me? Dark violin to Pootie-Dog, answer me.”
“Dark Violin, copy that, and don’t call me that! That has to be the stupidest name you’ve ever came up of!” Came the deep voice through the microphone.
Shane smirked, “All the more reason for me to call you Pootie-Dog, Pootie-Dog.”
“Oh, shut up..What have you got? Any sign for our boys?”
“Nada, sorry Bette. No sign of Eric and his men, maybe we got tipped off wrongly?”
Across from Shane through the stage and past the girls in the dressing room getting ready for their next act, Bette Porter sat in the ladies change room. She let out an exasperated sigh as she realized Shane’s comment. She had staked out a couple months ago and waited for a lead or a suspect or anything, relating to the mob boss known as Eric Cortezi, yet still nothing. What was he planning, anyway? There were rumors floating around that some big explosives illegally smuggled and shipped to the black market, and she was itching for some serious action and fast .
“Hold on,” Shane said, as she focused on a young man that entered into the club.
” there’s a man just came in here, he looks new, I’ve never seen him before.” She observed him, swaggered that was unfamiliar to her, and sat down at the table right next to the stage. There’s something about that guy who strangely turns me on, She mused, too bad he’s got a *****.
…
Tina sat at the table, looking around nervously. She hadn’t been to a real strip club before. Alright, Kennard, do your job. So it’s a strip joint, no big deal, right? She swallowed hard as the waitress girl came towards her. At least try to look Manly.
” Well, hi there! ” She smiled warmly, ” Can I get you somthin, sugah?”
” Uh, gin and tonic.” She tipped her hat and hid under her eyes.
” sure thing, sweets,” She left the table as the lights dimmed, and a spotlight flashed through the velvety curtains. Most of the men hooted and hollered at the start of the show. They clapped a lot louder and roared as the most beautiful woman in the world Tina had ever laid eyes on emerged from the stage. Her leg entered the red curtain first, those gorgeous, finely sculpted legs with mocha brown skin, which were held in glittery- gold high heels and lace. She’d pull her body through the curtain so very slowly, wearing only a black fur coat and surveyed the, almost predatorily, dominance emitting through the audience. And the men went wild with that, yet she’d just stand there without a gesture ore a word.
Oh…God… Tina swallowed, realizing how very thirsty and dry her throat was,, and downed her drink very quickly. God, she is so beautiful she thought, not taking her eyes off the deep mocha beauty. The music began to play a Gwen Stefani song,”Let Me Blow Ya Mind” and Tina leaned back in the chair, positively enthralled. If this isn’t Elizabeth Porter, I dunno what is!
The men began to quiet down, with the occasional yells “Take your top off!” and ” She is SO fine! Work it, beautiful!” Bette imagined rolling her eyes in disbelief. She began to sway to the beat, sauntering catwalk-like stage. The men at the table all held up dollar bills, with the occasional 50 and 100. Bette took the 50 from an old middle-aged man, held it to her teeth and slowly undid the buttons of her coat, grinding her hips. She slipped the coat down to reveal a scantily-clad red even dress.
Tina waved over to the waitress, needing something strong to kill this little day dream and to focus on the job at hand. She noticed when the waitress was carrying a drink as she set it on the table.
“No charge,” she said, pointing to the girl in the far corner with short, messy, black hair wearing a leather, rock star jacket” Looks like you got a secret admirer.”
The waitress waved to her and Shane waved back. *****, I think my cover is about to be blown.
“”Hey, You, came a low, husky voice as Her head snapped back, and looked up at who she thought was no doubt Bette Porter. Wearing only red, lacy lingerie, she crawled up the table like a jungle cat.
“Care for a ride?” she purred, boring into those light, brown eyes. Tina could move, hypnotized by her lips pursed, inches apart from her own, the way she cocked an eyebrow, beckoning her. Alright Kennard, say something! Anything! It doesn’t have to be anything, just words! Bette gently grabbed Tina’s tie, tilting her head to look up at her. Hmm, very nice, Bette thought, if he wasn’t a man….her thoughts trailed off as she grinned a knowing grin. She dropped Tina’s tie then crawled on top of her
” So, how do you want it?” the dark woman murmured,” Lap dance or slow tease? Should I take it all off for you?” Tina’s mind was far far away, she was having trouble concentrate as she inhaled the older woman’s strong, alluring perfume feeling dizzy and light-headed. Getting impatient for the strange ‘man’s’ response, Bette stood up and walked by, a seductive smile on her face and said, “Ok, have it your way, baby.” as she walked over to the man holding the 100 dollar bill, and slipped it inside her bra.
*****!! Kennard, what’s wrong with you? What were you thinking?”
“Heh heh, oh man she was totally fine, and you blew her off!” said the dark-haired girl wearing the rock star jacket, who sat down at her table. Not in the mood for idle chit-chat, Tina replied,
“Yeah, what’s to you, anyway?”
“Shane’s the name, bub,” she said, ” and I think I happen to know your lady friend over there.” She pointed across the room to Bette, in the middle of a dance. Tina’s ears pricked up, and moved her attention to Shane.
“You know her?”
“Yeah, I do. She’s, uh, an acquaintance of mine. Her stage name is ‘Marina.’
“Her stage name, yes, but what’s her real name?”
“I know that too and I’ll give you a lucky break and let you meet her, personally.”
“Yeah?You’d do that?”
Shane picked up her beer bottle and stood up.
“Ofcourse, you wait ’till after the show ends.”
A few hours went by, which seemed like days to Tina as she watched all of the shows, but none of them compared to that woman called Marina. Finally it ended and the last few strippers left towards the curtain, and she slowly walked past the crowds to Shane.
” You think he’s a hired hit? One of Eric’s men, maybe?” Bette’s voice spoke through Shane’s mic.
” Yeah, I definitely do. There’s somethin’ not quite right about him, not sure. But if he IS a hired hit, he’s certainly got an interest in you.”
“I see, do you know his name?”
“Tim Haspell, something like that.”
“Well, pay this ‘Tim Haspell’ a visit, see to it that he’ll give us all the information we need.”
“Will do, Dark Violin out.”
Shane met with Tina, and followed her behind the stage and out of the staff doors. She opened the door to ‘Marina’/Bette’s dressing room and let her in.
“After you.” Shane gestured, as Tina stepped into her room. A huge window stood over a white dresser, as she looked around, no sign of Elizabeth Porter or whatever her name was. She glance at her reflection to Shane, and she quickly realized without warning the woman was carrying a baseball bat, swing it at her head. Tina dodged the swing and hit the ground, her hat whipped off her head. *****, I’m toast. Shane blinked at ‘him’.
“What the *****, you’re a-” but Shane cut Tina of, as she furiously swung her leg and smacked against the stunned woman’s jaw. Shane winced, her lip cut and bleeding, then attacked her ravenously, fists flying. Tina sprung up on her heels, but momentarily lost her balance, and braced for impact. But she was caught suddenly by strong arms wrapped around her. Shane took a few jabs at her nose.
“Easy, Shane.” came a familiar voice. Shane wiped the blood from her mouth.
“*****’ imposter!”
Tina caught her breathing, and glanced up at Bette Porter, holding her. She struggled to get free, but was caught by Bette’s hand on her arm, holding it behind her waist.
“Imposter?” Bette questioned.
“A woman!” Shane growled. Bette cautiously ran a hand over Tina’s (or Tim’s) work shirt, cupping her ***** as she let out a gasp.
“Hey! ***** Off!” Tina seethed, she pulled against her hand as Bette undid her bobby pins to reveal long, flowing hair.
“Well I’ll be.” She mused, raking her fingers over her blonde hair, pissing Tina off even more. No wonder I was turned on.
She squirmed, but Bette tightened her hold once more.
“Feisty.”
” I’ll bet she’s working for Eric.” Shane grumbled.
“No!”
“No what?”
“No, I’m not working for Eric and I’m not an imposter! I’m here to work for you! Your Father sent me!”
They both looked at each other in silence.
” My father? He didn’t tell me anything, or he would have sent us a notice.
Shane thought of it, then it dawned on her.
“Or maybe I accidentally turned the power off for about a couple hours while you were under cover?”
Shane suggested nervously, and Bette gave her a look.
“You didn’t?”
“Um…I did.”
Bette sighed.
“Sorry.” She offered, as they both looked at Tina. Bette loosened her grip and walked a couple steps, nursing a sore wrist that Bette had inflicted.
“What do ya think?” Bette murmured, Can we believe her?”
“I don’t trust her, but if it’s good for the cause, then it’s good for the cause.” Shane replied. Bette walked up to her, towering over her as the smaller woman glared. Bette gazed into her deep chocolate eyes, and gave her a lop-sided grin, which Tina instantly melted against her gaze
“So what’s your name?”
She blinked, trying hard to remember what her name was.
Shane smirked, “I believe her name is Tim Haspell, that’s what she said to me.”
Tina snapped her back into reality.
“No, no!” she laughed nervously.
” Officer Christina Kennard, Tina for short.
Bette smiled wide.
“Well, Officer Christina Kennard, Tina for short, our little organization requires you to be punctual, efficient and ready to do your job, without fear or mercy. Can you do that?”
“Yes.”
“Good. There is something that I need from you.”
” And what’s that?”
“The password.”
“There’s a password?”
“Yes, a secret password that will make you an honorary member.”
“I don’t know the password, your father didn’t tell it to me!”
They looked at each other and turned around.
“Ah well, too bad.”
Tina’s heart started beating in panic.
“Wait!”
They both stopped and looked at her.
“Is it…” Tina started to think, so much that it hurt.
“Shazzam?” She tried, knowing that it might be wrong, but she to be close to Bette, to know more about her.
Shane looked at Bette, who looked at Shane.
They both chuckled and shrugged their shoulders.
“Come on, we have a car waiting outside that will lead us to our store. “
Tina walked through the door with them, out to the door and got into the dirty Porsche-convertible.
What’s the name of your store?” Tina asked.
“The Palace.” Bette replied.
TBC
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This is nuts! I love it!
:( one star? I didn’t know my story was that bad! Can I ask why? Did I break a rule, or was it really that bad? …
This story is a lot of fun. Keep it up. Lots of other fanfic inuendos.Very cool
I thought this was funny. Totally different, but it’s all in the name of fun, right?
This is insane! It’s great! Especially the C.A.C…
and one more thing…the stars don’t mean a whole lot…it’s the comments that count…and also…all of the B/T fans are into the whole love, sex, fighting thing…I personally love this story because you are taking it somewhere different….it’s wonderful…don’t let any negative comment persuade u to stop writing….trust me, I know!!!!
OMG…this is soo good..funny, uncanny, and relieving….I love it…5 stars for u…keep posting…I will be waitin
I like this! B&T with a big differnce
One more thing…It’s like the ‘L-word’ meets ‘Charlie’s Angels’ with a twist…I see a lot of potential
Different, original, funny. I liked it! More please?
I’m so lost but I’m so willing to find my way through it…..I’m interested. Keep going.
I don’t think it’s nutty…it’s very intriguing and imaginative…I say don’t sleep and write some more!
this is a keeper….great story …..
Absolutely hilarious!! You have a wicked sense of humour. Definitely definitely definitely write more. Soon.
Really good. Keep them coming.