Bette rolled over in search of Tinas soft warmth only to come in contact with the coldness of the blue material, long abandoned. Panic rushed through every pore as her eyes flickered open and scanned the room for a flash of blonde hair or a gentle smile. Her gaze was met with emptiness as she realized Tina had gone, tears biting at her eyes she dropped her body back into the mattress and heard the crumple of paper under her arm. Turning her head she saw the note and picked it up slowly, rubbing her eyes to get the sleep and tears out, she let her eyes run over Tinas words. Dear Bette, Im so sorry. I dont really know what else to say so Ill just say what comes to me I guess. Everything is so different with you, youre soft and sweet to me, youre beautiful, and for the first time in my life I experienced perfect happiness. Last nightin your arms, making love to youI couldnt have imagined anything as perfect. But I want to be honest with you, I dont think I can do this right now, you and me that is, its too hard and I dont think Im strong enough to deal with it yet. I have so much of my life to look forward to and so do you. It scared me last night when I thought that I could spend the rest of my life with you, Im not ready for that yet. Were so young and we have so many roads ahead of us, maybe it would be better if we both took a step back and looked at what we want for ourselves right now. I dont want it to be forever and to be honest againI dont think Ill be able to spend my life with anyone else but you. I hate that this sounds so selfish, but I think itll be good for the both of us. I care about you Bette, but I need to find out what I am capable of first. I just need time. Always, T By the end of the letter Bettes tears were dripping onto the sheet, the water mixing with the ink made the word look like they were crying, their black mascara rushing down the page. Bette Porter was furiousfurious and heart broken. She had just had possibly the greatest night of her life and in a few hours it was all disintegrating. Her world coming crashing down around her as she sat clutching at the last piece of Tina she had. Looking at her current situation, naked and tangled in blue sheets, she smelled like ***** and dry sweat, lingering scents of vanilla filling her nostrils made her kick her body into gear. She couldnt just sit there and loose the one good thing she had going for her, could she? Tina said she wanted time Maybe I should leave her alone then. She thought. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her nude body; she lent her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face. God I need to talk to herHow am I going to give her time if I need to see her?…She left her clothes here!! I could be nice and bring them back! That settled Bette jumped in the shower and got dressed, grabbed her keys, breezed by her mother and father in the kitchen and jumped into her mustang peeling out loudly enough to make her father yell, What the ***** is the matter with that girl? Does she know what time it is? Tina was lying in bed watching the sun come up through the opened window she had crawled through only short hours ago. She was worried about Bettes reaction when she found that she was not there, and after she read the letter. Closing her eyes she replayed the previous night, the dream that was actually reality, until her thoughts were overcome with images of Bettes tear-streaked faceshe only prayed that the other girl would understand and give her the time she asked for in the short note. No sooner did she finish that train of thought when there was a soft knock on her door. Thinking it was her mother, she muttered a soft Come in, to the person behind the door, and was almost knocked out of breath when she saw Bette push the door open cautiously and peek her head in. Sorry, your mom let me in. I think thats the first time I ever used the front door. She chuckled nervously as Tina stared wide-eyed. What are you doing here? the blonde questioned obviously tense at the situation. Bette moved into the room and closed the door behind her, motioning with her hand in which she clutched Tina slightly damn clothes. You, uh, forgot these She waited a few second and Tina took the clothes chucking them into the laundry basket which was beginning to overflow, just like any teenagers. And I think we need to talk about why youre running from me, from this. Bette threw her hands up signaling that she was talking about the relationship between the both of them. Tina sighed and sat on the edge of the bed looking up at Bette, I need time Bette looked at her incredulously, Tina, I dont get it, how much more time do you need? Days? Months? Years? Weve been friends for a while now, I dont get why youre suddenly so afraid of me? God Bette! I dont know how long I need! Its not something I have planned out right now! Im afraidIm afraid because of how you make me feel. You make my head spin, I cant stop smiling when I think about you, and it kills me when we kiss because I know I dont need anything else to be happy but you. Do you know how scary that is? Forever? At this age? I cant promise you that. Her voice cracking with emotion. Bette blinked, taking in each word Tina had said. When did I ask you for forever? Im sorry for making you happy, is that what you want to hear? I dont know what you need me to give you to prove that this is right Tina, I want to give you everything and I dont think itll ever be enough. Ill wait as long as I can for you, but I there are always more girls out there. Tina felt like she had been smacked, her mind was given whiplash as Bettes train of thought went from her happiness at being with Tina, to easily being able to find another girl. Ijust need some time Bette, why cant you understand that? I do understand T, but YOU need to understand that Ive waited four year for you, and I got a taste of what its like to be so in love with you that I cant go a minute of the day without you showing up in my thoughts, I dont want to have to be without you, but I wont force you. Im just letting you know that there could be someone else out there that could love me the way that I love them. Bette said sadly. I do. Tina said quietly Im scared. Bette was fed up with Tina at this point. Open your pretty little brown eyes Tina! Youre not the only one who had ever been scared, thats life, and everyone is scared at some point. But you dont get whats good in life by running scared and making excuses. Im not makin- Tina tried to talk but Bette plowed over her words. If you care about me, about us, then get up and show meyou cant go through life thinking of who you could be, or how things should be T, make changes yourself, if you runaway every time you feel something different youll never know if you could be truly happy. Tina got up off the edge of the bed slowly and approached Bette. She placed a soft hand on her cheek staring at Bettes dark chocolate colored eyes. Leaning forward their lips met briefly, almost like the touch of a feather or an angels kiss, hardly noticeable except for the tingle left on each of their lips. Tina looked up at Bette holding her beautiful hands in between her own, she sighed, Im so sorry Bette she finished, their hands dropping back to their sides as Tina backed away. Bette could do nothing but nod and let the tears that were awaiting their descent, drip slowly down a painfully sad face. So youre going to act like last night never happened? No I wouldnt ever do that. But youre breaking up with me? Tina didnt miss the way Bettes voice faltered, it made her heart ache. Yes. She said meekly, causing her heart to finally shatter, she swore the pieces punctured her lungs because she was having trouble breathing now as Bette turned to walk out the door. I love you Bette! she whispered desperately, not even sure the other girl heard it until she stopped and turned locking eyes with Tina. Those eyes, that were so vibrant and filled with passion and youthfulness when around Tina, were now dark and practically empty. I doubt it. Bette replied without emotion pulling the door closed. Tina threw herself back onto the bed and muffled an agonizing scream with her pillow. She didnt know what she was doing or why she just didnt trust Bette enough not to break her heart, or to be there for her. But it was done; they were over now so she didnt have to worry about that. So why didnt she feel better? Bette drove away from the Kennard residence, her heart ripped out and bleeding, left in the hands of that certain blonde. This is what I get for wanting more she thought ruefully. I guess this is the way its supposed to be. She drove toward the beach, deciding to use a certain secluded beach she knew of to sort out her thoughts. I can be content with losing herright? She tried convincing herself that it was okay, things were meant to happen for a reason. Surprisingly? It wasnt working.